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Old 02-07-2011, 12:16 AM
 
1,090 posts, read 1,831,673 times
Reputation: 818

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ami*imA View Post
well I would forgive him if this is an isolated incidence. I just hate the way he defended himself by saying I'm being too demanding by asking him to drop off some medicine.
I dont know dude. to confront him like that, what did you expect... he's gonna be defensive. You're not even in a relationship yet!

You weren't being demanding... but the way you say things or confront a person with something can make you SEEM demanding

He had to go hang out with his friends. You were sick. Does he know you had to walk to the store in the cold? Did you tell him that when you first told him you were sick? Sometimes the way you communicate something can make a huge difference

I probably would go at least drop off medicine at someone's door but maybe he just didnt think of it. I dont think I would drop my plans though to hang out with a sick person if my friends are expecting me. Especially if I haven't seen them in a long time. And I would expect the sick bf to understand that. Man - I would feel guilty being sick and having a guy cancel his plans to stay with me. Unless I'm dying and he wants to spend my last moments alive with me, that's just horrible.... for the common flu/cold/whatever
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Old 02-07-2011, 12:18 AM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,878,280 times
Reputation: 7058
He had to go hang out with his friends? Had to? So his group of friends were going to fall apart at the seams if he took 20 minutes to get medicine and deliver it to her? This is beyond petty. Beyond petty!

Quote:
Originally Posted by sydney1987 View Post
I dont know dude. to confront him like that, what did you expect... he's gonna be defensive. You're not even in a relationship yet!

You weren't being demanding... but the way you say things or confront a person with something can make you SEEM demanding

He had to go hang out with his friends. You were sick. Does he know you had to walk to the store in the cold? Did you tell him that when you first told him you were sick? Sometimes the way you communicate something can make a huge difference

I probably would go at least drop off medicine at someone's door but maybe he just didnt think of it. I dont think I would drop my plans though to hang out with a sick person if my friends are expecting me. Especially if I haven't seen them in a long time. And I would expect the sick bf to understand that. Man - I would feel guilty being sick and having a guy cancel his plans to stay with me. Unless I'm dying and he wants to spend my last moments alive with me, that's just horrible.... for the common flu/cold/whatever
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Old 02-07-2011, 12:18 AM
 
Location: California
37,097 posts, read 42,103,316 times
Reputation: 34962
I don't even hang around my husband when he's sick with something contagious.
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Old 02-07-2011, 12:20 AM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,878,280 times
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He could have just dropped off the medicine.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece View Post
I don't even hang around my husband when he's sick with something contagious.
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Old 02-07-2011, 12:23 AM
 
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
10,757 posts, read 35,385,435 times
Reputation: 6960
I would go to the pharmacy for a neighbor or an acquaintance if they asked me under those circumstances, nevermind someone I was romantically interested in.

With the way he reacted I wouldn't even bother talking to him again. If he pushed it, I would just tell him I am not interested in being involved with you and move on. This guy doesn't sound like a nice guy. Yes they are hard to find but don't settle for someone like this.
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Old 02-07-2011, 12:23 AM
 
1,090 posts, read 1,831,673 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
He could have just dropped off the medicine.
just didnt think of it

especially if he's never been in that situation before
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Old 02-07-2011, 12:24 AM
 
Location: California
37,097 posts, read 42,103,316 times
Reputation: 34962
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
He could have just dropped off the medicine.
He could have, and if it was a serious relationship he may have. But it's not so it's not really a problem.

And here is a lesson, keep Advil on hand.
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Old 02-07-2011, 12:24 AM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,878,280 times
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That's why it is important to be thoughtful and to have an open-ended discussion.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sydney1987 View Post
just didnt think of it

especially if he's never been in that situation before
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Old 02-07-2011, 12:28 AM
 
1,090 posts, read 1,831,673 times
Reputation: 818
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece View Post
He could have, and if it was a serious relationship he may have. But it's not so it's not really a problem.

And here is a lesson, keep Advil on hand.
yea seriously
before you blame someone else
look at yourself

be more considerate, be nice to the guy - let him hang out with his friends, let him make ONE mistake and be willing to forgive

it makes a big difference

dont have a huge discussion over every mistake, dont tell him how he "should have acted"

that has to be the NUMBER ONE most annoying thing EVER
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Old 02-07-2011, 12:32 AM
 
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
10,757 posts, read 35,385,435 times
Reputation: 6960
I'm not big on a huge discussion either. There really isn't a point. Only you can decide if this behavior is something you can live with.
As far as not thinking about dropping off medication, how stupid is this guy if that didn't occur to him. He was reluctant to be there and get sick but if he just dropped it off to you, he would have been caring and helpful AND kept himself removed from the possibility of getting sick.

I wonder if the shoe was on the other foot what this guy would think you should do. My ex thought I should be dancing in attendance to take care of him while he was sick, never thought for a moment it should work both ways.
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