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There are "unspoken rules" in every family and kids pick-up on them in conscious and unconscious ways...Kids usually follow the "rules" to avoid being labeled a "troublemaker" and to avoid being yelled at or shamed etc...Most kids want to feel loved and accepted and they have fears about "rocking the boat."...But some kids do give themselves permission to question things even if they just question things in the privacy of their own minds...Other kids question their parent's culture and lifestyle and beliefs out in the open in more direct ways.
Has anyone ever been frustrated with the seriousness of group standards? Friendship groups or work groups uphold unwritten standards in authoritarian fashion and you are supposed to guess what those standards are by trial and error. You notice the rules are flexible for some but very inflexible for others.
I see this as an infringement on individuality but a group would see it as the way it must be: and they provide hoops to jump through to keep your membership as a friend or what not. I prefer individuality and not being responsible to a herd or groupthink.
Who cares what strict Christians think about you as a flaming homosexual? Seriously, live your life to the fullest, be your true authentic self and surround yourself with people like yourself.
There are no rules in life but the ones you create or imagine - break down those rules and live!
But to address your comment: I think you make powerful points. Good job.
Quote:
Originally Posted by donie1
Who cares what strict Christians think about you as a flaming homosexual? Seriously, live your life to the fullest, be your true authentic self and surround yourself with people like yourself.
There are no rules in life but the ones you create or imagine - break down those rules and live!
Has anyone ever been frustrated with the seriousness of group standards? Friendship groups or work groups uphold unwritten standards in authoritarian fashion and you are supposed to guess what those standards are by trial and error. You notice the rules are flexible for some but very inflexible for others.
I see this as an infringement on individuality but a group would see it as the way it must be: and they provide hoops to jump through to keep your membership as a friend or what not. I prefer individuality and not being responsible to a herd or groupthink.
Who cares about group standards? Do your own individual thing...be your own leader, not a follower of someone else's standards...
Group doesn't like what I do? I could care less...
Has anyone ever been frustrated with the seriousness of group standards? Friendship groups or work groups uphold unwritten standards in authoritarian fashion and you are supposed to guess what those standards are by trial and error. You notice the rules are flexible for some but very inflexible for others.
I see this as an infringement on individuality but a group would see it as the way it must be: and they provide hoops to jump through to keep your membership as a friend or what not. I prefer individuality and not being responsible to a herd or groupthink.
Your situation reminds me of Diogenes (the guy who lived in a barrel and wandered around Athens looking for an honest man).
If you prefer individuality and don't want to conform to the group's demands, why are you around them?
There are universal rules that people should go by, i.e. rules of common courtesy and fairness. Rules within friend or work groups are often effed up by people who are biased. Lots of people are willing to forgive their friends and workplace buddies for sexually harassing a subordinate, or for stealing somebody else's ideas, for cheating on their significant others. Just as long as they don't rock the boat they can all hide their heads in the sand. But if the offender isn't all that popular then everyone jumps on them and acts all high and mighty. Even the most simple of standards are often thrown out the window because humans are biased and weak. You really can't expect too much of people.
Trying to fit is a part of living life as a human being you'll never get away from. Whether you think it as a bane or blessing, it's in our nature as a social animal.
The best you can do is not have to conform group standards that you don't need or want to belong to, whatever cliques or social circles they are, and choose the ones you do.
No matter how much you think of yourself as a cool rebel, dressed in black or something, rising about the crowd, you defer to the, or a crowd in some way. People who truly not care what others think of them, to the point of ignoring social norms totally, end up on the street, unemployed, or in the asylum.
I say this and I myself am a person who is very individualistic in daily life, not to mention somewhat quirky and odd by most of society's standards.
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Do your own individual thing...be your own leader, not a follower of someone else's standards...
