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My opinion is you have survivor's guilt. You keep the live-in around, because you bothe helped each other survive alcoholism. Fact is, you can do it by yourself, it's a daily battle.
I agree with other posters that's it's time to step out on your own and find YOU. You don't need either one of these guys. Move on, explore your own thoughts and feeling and come out of your shell. Good luck!
round4, do you have an opinion on why a man would keep someone around all this time and never want to be with me and yet cheat on me with someone else. What would his objective be? I know it doesn't matter I guess at this point, but I am hurt and mad at myself because I feel like he made a big joke out of me and my feelings. He knows that I have an abused past...etc, but with total disregard to me, left me to be with someone else and then tells me he really loves and respects me and not her.
Anyway, I gotta find out who I am now as you say. I haven't a clue!
I swear if I had two boyfriends, this could SO be me writing this post. That saddens me. It's like looking in a mirror.
Thanks for being so vulnerable and transparent, and sharing your story. I can't add any advice other than that which has already been given. You've been given some really good and sound advice here. I hope you take heed. I'll be praying for you.
Well, sometimes with destructive relationships we can't let go and the guy let's us go by cheating. In hindsight, you will see that he really did do you a favor.
This is your time now. Grab it and find out who you really are. Do things that you enjoy and find out what type of life you want. Visualize yourself in that life and make it a reality. Good luck! You can do it!
Because like your previous alcohol addiction these two guys are providing a need. You need to realize that the need is a destructive one and stop it. It sounds like you have started the process but are relapsing.
So my advice is much like Andrea's. Stop seeing the plumber now. He is seeking to use your tendency toward addictive behavior to control you. He wants you as a compliant victim, one that is subservient to his wants. This is not a good place for you to be in. The live-in guy is sorta a different case because he is a fellow addict gone clean. He is a danger in the sense that his behavior mirrors yours. You are both week.
You should avoid both of these guys and get your life in order and understand what drives you to make bad choices. You may need counseling or you may be able to do this through self realization.
Hope things work out for you.
I agree with this.
There's a movie I love called "When A Man Loves A Woman", a story about alcoholism and recovery. Pretty profound and on target.
Thank you! Yes I have. I no longer see this person. He was cheating on me the entire time. It was a blessing in disguise and I no longer live a double life. I am back to AA meetings, have gotten a sponsor and am looking forward to my future. Thank you for caring.
Congratulations on getting yourself out of a real mess. I hope things work out for you.
I also hope you give yourself time to figure out the plumber. What got him off was abusing you. Controlling you, and withholding affection. That man was lower than a snake's belly in Death Valley.
I'm living a double life as well I think I'm going to break off with both.
that might be best! What's your story?
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