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I've told her many times how I feel about her. So that is how I presumed she would know it. We don't have the technology or mental capacity for telepathy yet so only my words and actions can tell her how I feel.
She asked if I could see myself falling for her and I said yes I could. I answered the question, I said yes, how did I make a mistake exactly?
It was not a mistake. Now continue to send her cards, send her flowers and get engaged blah blah blah blah. What is stopping you? You're going to psycho-analyze these strangers here and confuse yourself??
Make no mistake, half the posters on this thread are relationships underdogs themselves, so I wonder what makes you think you're talking to the Greek myth equivalent of Lord Cupid here on this board.
I met a girl in 2009 and if I had come to this board for advice, I'd have been doomed There are several things we have done which would be RED FLAGS based on the popular opinion here, from people 80% of whom suck at their relationships LMAO
I've told her many times how I feel about her. So that is how I presumed she would know it. We don't have the technology or mental capacity for telepathy yet so only my words and actions can tell her how I feel.
She asked if I could see myself falling for her and I said yes I could. I answered the question, I said yes, how did I make a mistake exactly?
You were probably supposed to say "I've already fallen for you."
I wouldn't stress about it too much. Just enjoy your time together and let things flow naturally. I'm sure it will be fine.
Women do need to hear how you feel every now and then. It's also important to make sure you back that up with your actions. I'm not talking about buying her stuff, either. I have been in a situation where I was told over and over the guy loved me. When I was finally honest with myself after examining his actions, I realized that wasn't the case.
I've told her many times how I feel about her. So that is how I presumed she would know it. We don't have the technology or mental capacity for telepathy yet so only my words and actions can tell her how I feel.
She asked if I could see myself falling for her and I said yes I could. I answered the question, I said yes, how did I make a mistake exactly?
What your girl is looking for is a little reassurance - she is feeling vulnerable, that's all.
She is falling for you and is very afraid you might not fall as hard for her (it sucks to be in love with someone who isn't as in love with you). It's a scary time in a new relationship, but nothing to get freaked out over or think of as "red flags".
She asked if I could see myself falling for her and I said yes I could. I answered the question, I said yes, how did I make a mistake exactly?
You really did nothing wrong, you were just being honest with her. It was her mistake for asking you that question. But the problem is, she has already fallen in love with you and was secretly hoping that you were in with her at the same time. The awkwardness is because she feels stupid, naive and also vulnerable because while she loves you, you aren't there yet. Of course, you aren't telepathic. But as you've said, you've spend a lot of time together being happy, having great sex and being able to talk for many hours. You both felt each other on the same wavelength, except after that question, you actually are on different wavelengths... she loves you but you only liking her a whole lot.
Many couples hit an awkward spot at the point when one person says the L word and the other person isn't there yet.
I met a girl in 2009 and if I had come to this board for advice, I'd have been doomed There are several things we have done which would be RED FLAGS based on the popular opinion here, from people 80% of whom suck at their relationships LMAO
You really did nothing wrong, you were just being honest with her. It was her mistake for asking you that question. But the problem is, she has already fallen in love with you and was secretly hoping that you were in with her at the same time. The awkwardness is because she feels stupid, naive and also vulnerable because while she loves you, you aren't there yet. Of course, you aren't telepathic. But as you've said, you've spend a lot of time together being happy, having great sex and being able to talk for many hours. You both felt each other on the same wavelength, except after that question, you actually are on different wavelengths... she loves you but you only liking her a whole lot.
Many couples hit an awkward spot at the point when one person says the L word and the other person isn't there yet.
I don't know if what I feel is love or not. I do feel very strongly for her and I could see myself being happy with her a long time and marrying her. We want all the same things including how many kids we'd like to have (which is amazing). I guess I've just been alone in that regard to my love life for so long that I don't know what it is I'm feeling. I haven't really had anyone I've cared much about in 7 years. I just want to make sure what I feel is love before I say it.
I also don't have a history of dating very good women, meaning women who have not treated me very well in relationships, so maybe that's a part of me that's been burned and I haven't allowed myself to fall so hard for someone so easily.
I don't know if what I feel is love or not. I do feel very strongly for her and I could see myself being happy with her a long time and marrying her. We want all the same things including how many kids we'd like to have (which is amazing). I guess I've just been alone in that regard to my love life for so long that I don't know what it is I'm feeling. I haven't really had anyone I've cared much about in 7 years. I just want to make sure what I feel is love before I say it.
I also don't have a history of dating very good women, meaning women who have not treated me very well in relationships, so maybe that's a part of me that's been burned and I haven't allowed myself to fall so hard for someone so easily.
I would tell her exactly what you've told us. That you care about her a lot, but that you've been burned in the past so you want to take it slow with your emotions. Also that you take the word "love" very seriously and don't just throw it out there. If she's an emotionally healthy person, she will completely accept these answers without freaking out. And when/if you finally tell that you do love her, she'll know 100% that you really mean it.
I would tell her exactly what you've told us. That you care about her a lot, but that you've been burned in the past so you want to take it slow with your emotions. Also that you take the word "love" very seriously and don't just throw it out there. If she's an emotionally healthy person, she will completely accept these answers without freaking out. And when/if you finally tell that you do love her, she'll know 100% that you really mean it.
This is the best response to send our cdubs back into therapy
Well, that was just my sarcastic wording. However, that's what she was hoping to hear when asking this question.
Understood.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dogwalker425
You were probably supposed to say "I've already fallen for you."
I wouldn't stress about it too much. Just enjoy your time together and let things flow naturally. I'm sure it will be fine.
Women do need to hear how you feel every now and then. It's also important to make sure you back that up with your actions. I'm not talking about buying her stuff, either. I have been in a situation where I was told over and over the guy loved me. When I was finally honest with myself after examining his actions, I realized that wasn't the case.
If this is how women think, to throw something out there and hope for a certain response, then like I said, they need to start writing out scripts and we'll read them off. In that case, she could have been direct and just said "do you love me?" or something of the sort. Of course, I'm just speculating whether this is what she was implying.
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There are several things we have done which would be RED FLAGS based on the popular opinion here, from people 80% of whom suck at their relationships LMAO 
