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Old 02-10-2011, 08:27 AM
 
8,519 posts, read 14,330,693 times
Reputation: 7665

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It seems like we live in a Me-Me-Me culture. Everything's about me, what's in it for me, etc. We even have a generation labeled the Me generation because so many of them act entitled. It's no wonder things like Facebook, Twitter and reality TV have become so popular. They enable ordinary people to feel important.

I recently had to take a break from a friend who was guilty of making everything about her. If she had a problem, she expected you to listen. But if you complained, she'd downplay the significance of your problems. In other words, her problems were bigger than everyone else's. She expected you to like the things she likes and want to do the things she wanted to do. But if you didn't, she took offense. I finally told her I was done listening to her complain all the time. She was offended. I guess in her mind, it's my job to listen to her whine, no matter how silly or repetitive it gets. That reeks of selfishness. If someone wasn't interested in what I had to say, I wouldn't get mad at them for it. I would simply change the subject.

Some people see everything in terms of them. If something good happens to someone else, they act like they're cursed. If people don't want to date them or even be around them, they find fault with the other person instead of looking in the mirror. If you tell them you have a problem with their behavior, instead of daring to change, they just go on doing what they've been doing.

Have you had to deal with such people? Where do you think such attitudes come from? Do you think such a person ever changes? Why is it so hard for them to recognize their own self-centeredness?
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Old 02-10-2011, 08:45 AM
 
Location: Where Dance Music comes first
1,904 posts, read 2,718,879 times
Reputation: 2249
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane View Post
It seems like we live in a Me-Me-Me culture. Everything's about me, what's in it for me, etc. We even have a generation labeled the Me generation because so many of them act entitled. It's no wonder things like Facebook, Twitter and reality TV have become so popular. They enable ordinary people to feel important.
If anything, this is actually a good thing. I don't want anybody feeling unimportant and deciding to go "Columbine" on the general public.
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Old 02-10-2011, 08:47 AM
 
Location: Between Philadelphia and Allentown, PA
5,077 posts, read 13,610,321 times
Reputation: 3746
I have definitely had to deal with people like this and to be honest, I just don't have enough time for someone like that. I consider them very high maintenance and I'm not.
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Old 02-10-2011, 08:57 AM
 
1,176 posts, read 2,029,201 times
Reputation: 1125
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane View Post
It seems like we live in a Me-Me-Me culture. Everything's about me, what's in it for me, etc. We even have a generation labeled the Me generation because so many of them act entitled. It's no wonder things like Facebook, Twitter and reality TV have become so popular. They enable ordinary people to feel important.

I recently had to take a break from a friend who was guilty of making everything about her. If she had a problem, she expected you to listen. But if you complained, she'd downplay the significance of your problems. In other words, her problems were bigger than everyone else's. She expected you to like the things she likes and want to do the things she wanted to do. But if you didn't, she took offense. I finally told her I was done listening to her complain all the time. She was offended. I guess in her mind, it's my job to listen to her whine, no matter how silly or repetitive it gets. That reeks of selfishness. If someone wasn't interested in what I had to say, I wouldn't get mad at them for it. I would simply change the subject.

Some people see everything in terms of them. If something good happens to someone else, they act like they're cursed. If people don't want to date them or even be around them, they find fault with the other person instead of looking in the mirror. If you tell them you have a problem with their behavior, instead of daring to change, they just go on doing what they've been doing.

Have you had to deal with such people? Where do you think such attitudes come from? Do you think such a person ever changes? Why is it so hard for them to recognize their own self-centeredness?
but wasn't it selfish to tell her you were tired of listening to her complain?
maybe in that case it was ok to be selfish?
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Old 02-10-2011, 08:59 AM
 
1,041 posts, read 1,399,138 times
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Why do you want that person to recognize this self-centeredness? Who cares? She would probably make this about her anyway and add you to the big long neverending list of people who are out to get her. ZzzzzZZzzzzz

Just move on.

There are plenty of people out there who act the opposite of what you described.

I think social networks are popular not because everybody thinks he's a little emperor in his own world. Well maybe a bit, but I think they are mostly popular because you know people will actually read what you write, unlike in real conversations where nowadays, people rarely listen, cut you mid-sentence, talk over you... I think people feel closer to their friends in some way on the web because they can actually open up without having to compete for the stand.
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Old 02-10-2011, 09:04 AM
 
Location: Whiteville Tennessee
8,262 posts, read 17,025,753 times
Reputation: 10064
Denny-------Have you ever read the book ATLAS SHRUGGED? If so, isnt that basically "self centeredness?"
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Old 02-10-2011, 09:10 AM
 
8,519 posts, read 14,330,693 times
Reputation: 7665
Quote:
Originally Posted by pkrplr1 View Post
but wasn't it selfish to tell her you were tired of listening to her complain?
maybe in that case it was ok to be selfish?
No. That's simply standing up for oneself and asking the other person to treat you with respect. If they treat like a sounding board whom they can endlessly complain to, then it's clear that they don't really respect you. You're there to please them. There's nothing selfish in telling others that you're not happy with the way they treat you.
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Old 02-10-2011, 09:17 AM
 
Location: Between Philadelphia and Allentown, PA
5,077 posts, read 13,610,321 times
Reputation: 3746
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane View Post
No. That's simply standing up for oneself and asking the other person to treat you with respect. If they treat like a sounding board whom they can endlessly complain to, then it's clear that they don't really respect you. You're there to please them. There's nothing selfish in telling others that you're not happy with the way they treat you.

I see both sides of this. I see why others are annoyed at your statements but I mostly agree with you. There are some people who really believe that everything revolves around them and every single time you talk all they want to do is talk about themselves and their issues / problems. God forbid you need a sounding board, they somehow turn YOUR issue into theirs as well. You just can't win.

I think for those of you who found Denny's posting negative, perhaps it would be different if you encoutered such an extreme personality as what he's describing. I have once or twice and really, yes you do start out sympathetic as a good friend but part of any relationship be it friends or more is that you have to be able to lean on them some too. And if they make it impossible to do that then there really is a lack of respect and no need for that friendship to go on.
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Old 02-10-2011, 09:29 AM
 
5,447 posts, read 6,967,404 times
Reputation: 4596
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane View Post
It seems like we live in a Me-Me-Me culture. Everything's about me, what's in it for me, etc. We even have a generation labeled the Me generation because so many of them act entitled. It's no wonder things like Facebook, Twitter and reality TV have become so popular. They enable ordinary people to feel important.

I recently had to take a break from a friend who was guilty of making everything about her. If she had a problem, she expected you to listen. But if you complained, she'd downplay the significance of your problems. In other words, her problems were bigger than everyone else's. She expected you to like the things she likes and want to do the things she wanted to do. But if you didn't, she took offense. I finally told her I was done listening to her complain all the time. She was offended. I guess in her mind, it's my job to listen to her whine, no matter how silly or repetitive it gets. That reeks of selfishness. If someone wasn't interested in what I had to say, I wouldn't get mad at them for it. I would simply change the subject.

Some people see everything in terms of them. If something good happens to someone else, they act like they're cursed. If people don't want to date them or even be around them, they find fault with the other person instead of looking in the mirror. If you tell them you have a problem with their behavior, instead of daring to change, they just go on doing what they've been doing.

Have you had to deal with such people? Where do you think such attitudes come from? Do you think such a person ever changes? Why is it so hard for them to recognize their own self-centeredness?
I'm kinda torn honestly on the premise of the original post. Being "self-centered" can be potentially both constructive and destructive, depending on the specific situation and context. My philosophy I guess is to focus less on self-centeredness per se, and more on the Golden Rule: "to do unto others, as you would have them do unto you" as a good rule of thumb

As for people who do not reciprocate the care / kindness / affection you are giving them? Simple: they are not following the same rule above. If you can still find their company pleasant in light of that, all the more power to you. If you can't endure it, not a problem either -- above all, a person shouldn't place him or herself in a position to be abused or taken advantage of, by anyone
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Old 02-10-2011, 09:37 AM
 
3,573 posts, read 5,942,448 times
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Nope, don't deal with people like that in my life. Got rid of all of them. Life is too short and interesting to deal with energy zappers.
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