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Old 02-12-2011, 02:10 AM
 
Location: Tower of Heaven
4,023 posts, read 7,372,180 times
Reputation: 1450

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As Valentine's Day approaches, it's tempting to check your wall every 10 min. to see if that cute guy from the bar last week has poked you. But a recent Psychological Science study by researchers at the University of Virginia and Harvard says you will probably like him more if he ignores you than if he posts flirty messages.
The study complicates decades of research on the “reciprocity principle,” which says that people fancy others who show fondness for them. As psychologists Erin Whitchurch, Timothy Wilson and Daniel Gilbert explain the principle, “If we want to know how much Sarah likes Bob, a good predictor is how much she thinks Bob likes her.” (More on TIME.com: 5 Little-Known Truths About American Sex Lives)
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Read more: Facebook and Love: Why Guys Should Wait to Poke Women They Like - TIME Healthland
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Old 02-12-2011, 02:39 AM
 
3,409 posts, read 4,645,107 times
Reputation: 1431
I would think it is quite the opposite. Men who play hard to get will be playing with THEMSELVES!
 
Old 02-12-2011, 05:22 AM
 
2,725 posts, read 5,189,775 times
Reputation: 1963
Quote:
Originally Posted by RenaudFR View Post
“If we want to know how much Sarah likes Bob, a good predictor is how much she thinks Bob likes her.
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And this is where the female should keep her feelings to herself especially if the guy she is waiting for is following some rule that he should ignore her after "X" days.
 
Old 02-12-2011, 09:53 PM
 
Location: Somewhere on Earth
1,052 posts, read 1,647,885 times
Reputation: 712
Quote:
Originally Posted by crisan View Post
And this is where the female should keep her feelings to herself especially if the guy she is waiting for is following some rule that he should ignore her after "X" days.
I agree with this and with Big-Bad-John.

Why play games at all? It hurts both parties when they could be having fun together all along.
 
Old 02-12-2011, 10:31 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
6,405 posts, read 8,986,231 times
Reputation: 8507
Do guys ever really play the "hard to get" game? I can't imagine many do. Hell, I think most guys would be eager to get the ball rolling.

Could someone please address the Facebook issue? This is not the first time I've seen a thread linking Facebook with romance. How does this happen? How do folks "hookup" on Facebook? It's not a random free for all like MySpace. I don't get it.
 
Old 02-12-2011, 10:59 PM
 
37,608 posts, read 45,988,534 times
Reputation: 57194
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bondurant View Post
Do guys ever really play the "hard to get" game? I can't imagine many do. Hell, I think most guys would be eager to get the ball rolling.

Could someone please address the Facebook issue? This is not the first time I've seen a thread linking Facebook with romance. How does this happen? How do folks "hookup" on Facebook? It's not a random free for all like MySpace. I don't get it.
I'm not aware of anyone other that kids that use FB that in that manner..it's not designed to be a dating site, and it really doesn't work well in that regard..

As far as guys playing hard to get...I'd ditch 'em. I don't have any desire to play silly games, and there are plenty of other guys out there!
 
Old 02-12-2011, 11:40 PM
 
769 posts, read 1,013,397 times
Reputation: 473
It works indeed
 
Old 02-13-2011, 02:11 AM
 
Location: Tampa (by way of Omaha)
14,561 posts, read 23,065,107 times
Reputation: 10356
Quote:
Originally Posted by Big-Bad-John View Post
I would think it is quite the opposite. Men who play hard to get will be playing with THEMSELVES!
Not true. Woman will go "on the chase" just the same as a man will, provided you have something worth chasing.
 
Old 02-13-2011, 08:36 AM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,156,261 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bosco55David View Post
Not true. Woman will go "on the chase" just the same as a man will, provided you have something worth chasing.
Absolutely! There's no difference between the genders in this area. The bolded part is what makes it happen, though.
 
Old 02-13-2011, 08:40 AM
 
28,895 posts, read 54,153,037 times
Reputation: 46680
This isn't epoch-shattering. Women are used to men fawning all over them. When they encounter a hetero guy who isn't totally, utterly impressed with them, who isn't just trying to bed them, and talks to them like a normal person, then women want to know what's up.

This actually ties into all those tedious, whiny, "I'm a nice guy. Why don't women go for me?" threads. Because women want to be adored, not worshipped. So when you treat a woman like the end-all, be-all purpose of your existence, they immediately take you for granted.
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