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View Poll Results: How would you want your man to react in this situation?
Gives him an evil look, thats as far as it goes, then you both leave 19 27.14%
He gives him a verbal spray, then you both leave 31 44.29%
He gives him a verbal spray + threatens him if he does it ever again, then you leave 9 12.86%
Tells him to come outside and settle the problem with a fight 11 15.71%
Voters: 70. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 02-17-2011, 02:40 AM
 
Location: New Zealand and Australia
7,454 posts, read 13,384,593 times
Reputation: 7783

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Hypothetical situation. Obviously not one most people want, but it happens.


Say you are both out at a crowded bar, club, concert. For whatever reason your man is away from you for a short amount of time.

A man who is a complete stranger to you both, a similar age, but slightly older. Is being very inappropriate with you. For example over the top sexual explicit comments to you, or touching your leg etc. Drink is a factor. You have to go somewhere and need to leave soon anyway.


Your man comes back and he sees, or hears what is going on. Vote and comment (If you want).

Last edited by dave nz; 02-17-2011 at 02:52 AM..
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Old 02-17-2011, 02:42 AM
 
Location: Denver Metro
1,549 posts, read 2,574,789 times
Reputation: 1131
I would like him to politely go up to the guy and ask him to stop.
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Old 02-17-2011, 02:50 AM
 
Location: New Zealand and Australia
7,454 posts, read 13,384,593 times
Reputation: 7783
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsRiss7383 View Post
I would like him to politely go up to the guy and ask him to stop.
Yeah all well in theory, but how many men (or women if the roles were reversed), would tell him politely in this situation? Very few.
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Old 02-17-2011, 03:01 AM
 
26,142 posts, read 31,091,916 times
Reputation: 27235
I'd handle the situation myself and prefer it that way. I hate to be put into positions where I appear to be chattle. I've travelled alone a lot and can handle things with a level head if it's out of hand I just give a nod to a bartender and security or workers politely ask him to leave. Bringing a third party into it often asks for an escalation of macho ego
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Old 02-17-2011, 03:09 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
10,196 posts, read 17,743,034 times
Reputation: 13903
Quote:
Originally Posted by dave nz View Post
Yeah all well in theory, but how many men (or women if the roles were reversed), would tell him politely in this situation? Very few.
My husband would. He'd probably just say something like "Look mate, you need to back off, you're embarrassing yourself and we're leaving now". He is not the type to lose his temper or make things worse by causing a scene. In fact, he's very good at diffusing situations. Maybe that makes him unique but I already know he's unique, that's why I married him!
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Old 02-17-2011, 03:13 AM
 
Location: New Zealand and Australia
7,454 posts, read 13,384,593 times
Reputation: 7783
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
I'd handle the situation myself and prefer it that way. I hate to be put into positions where I appear to be chattle. I've travelled alone a lot and can handle things with a level head if it's out of hand I just give a nod to a bartender and security or workers politely ask him to leave. Bringing a third party into it often asks for an escalation of macho ego
I like that answer. I can tell you are a woman with a strong mind

Anyone who agrees, the first poll answer covers this (sort of ).
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Old 02-17-2011, 04:31 AM
 
Location: The moon
164 posts, read 211,080 times
Reputation: 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
I'd handle the situation myself and prefer it that way. I hate to be put into positions where I appear to be chattle. I've travelled alone a lot and can handle things with a level head if it's out of hand I just give a nod to a bartender and security or workers politely ask him to leave. Bringing a third party into it often asks for an escalation of macho ego
I don't like women that think this way. In my opinion it's the job of the BF to chase the intruder away. The job of the girl friend is just to say NO(to the intruder). I like escalations in macho ego.... so I don't like it when women think like you
Macho ego rulz

Last edited by Dark_analist; 02-17-2011 at 05:02 AM..
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Old 02-17-2011, 05:04 AM
 
26,142 posts, read 31,091,916 times
Reputation: 27235
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark_analist View Post
I don't like women that think this way. In my opinion it's the job of the BF to chase the intruder away. The job of the girl friend is just to say NO(to the intruder). I like escalations in macho ego.... so I don't like it when women think like you
I never looked at boyfriends and girlfriends as jobs and having 'job' descriptions. And your liking of the macho escalation means instead of having to handle one a-hole you now have to handle two irrational a-holes and I still end up alone dealing with it anyway, which is why I would never date someone with an eagerness to exert his macho bull.

Here's an example - not quite the same as a bar situation but the intent is covered. I worked for my father on Saturdays and it was just him and myself in this office. He hired some unsavory characters from time to time (many from the jail work release program) it was known these men carried weapons and one came in the office one Saturday for his paycheck. Something had happened during the week which made my dad become unhinged and he ripped the check up in his face and the man punched him in the face, blood everywhere and then an all out brawl ensued. It was by the door so I couldn't walk out. Who was left to be calm and rational - me to call the police even if they hauled them both away. I was not protected in that situation an the escalation of macho BS put me in danger instead of out of it. I was absolutely livid he didn't think of my safety in that situation and thought with his ego. So, it's best to handle things with as minimal fuss as possible and leave it to professionals such as bar workers or security to handle it appropriately instead of dealing with escalated ego.

I was with a man at night in Atlanta and I was getting in the car while macho boy decided to go into the adjacent property to take a leak. I had reached over to unlock the door on his side and noticed him in the middle of the street with three men who had pulled guns on him. I immediately slunk down into the seat hoping they didn't see me and immediately began cleaning out my purse and shoving everything under the seat and put $10, some change, a small thing of hairspray a brush and tissues to take them time to get to the bottom of the purse. After they took his wallet the one guy ran over and rolled over the hood of the car and stuck the gun to my head through the window.

The gentleman I was with ran over to the car and got in the drivers side and I handed him my purse and I told him to throw it out of his window as far as he possibly could (verses just handing it to the guy next to me - because if I did I had no out and he'd have probably shot me - he was definitely on something) he hesitated and I screamed at him to throw it and throw it far - because I knew they didn't trust each other and they'd all go running for it giving us time to get away. I was right, they did all go for it. However, the car wouldn't turn over and thank god we were on a hill. I was slunk down on the floor on the passenger side and reached over to help him pop the clutch on the way down. This is another instance of knowing how to handle oneself on their own and not letting macho ego get in the way. He apologized that they got everything from me and I said --'want to bet?' and pulled everything out from under the seat including some of his stuff. This episode happened within a matter of seconds. If machismo got in the way someone would have ended up dead.I didn't grow up on the mean streets to make me accustomed to such activity - quite the contrary it was upper middle class.

So, yes, I prefer to just handle things on my own with the less drama the better.

Last edited by Thursday007; 02-17-2011 at 05:15 AM..
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Old 02-17-2011, 05:14 AM
 
Location: The moon
164 posts, read 211,080 times
Reputation: 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
I never looked at boyfriends and girlfriends as jobs and having 'job' descriptions. And you liking of the macho escalation means instead of having to handle one a-hole you now have to handle two irrational a-holes and I still end up alone dealing with it anyway, which is why I would never date someone with an eagerness to exert his macho bull.

Here's an example - not quite the same as a bar situation but the intent is covered. I worked for my father on Saturdays and it was just him and myself in this office. He hired some unsavory characters from time to time (many from the jail work release program) it was known these men carried weapons and one came in the office one Saturday for his paycheck. Something had happened during the week which made my dad become unhinged and he ripped the check up in his face and the man punched him in the face, blood everywhere and then an all out brawl ensued. It was by the door so I couldn't walk out. Who was left to be calm and rational - me to call the police even if they hauled them both away. I was not protected in that situation an the escalation of macho BS put me in danger instead of out of it. I was absolutely livid he didn't think of my safety in that situation and thought with his ego. So, it's best to handle things with as minimal fuss as possible and leave it to professionals such as bar workers or security to handle it appropriately instead of dealing with escalated ego.

I was with a man at night in Atlanta and I was getting in the car while macho boy decided to go into the adjacent property to take a leak. I had reached over to unlock the door on his side and noticed him in the middle of the street with three men who had pulled guns on him. I immediately slunk down into the sink hoping they didn't see me and immediately began cleaning out my purse and shoving everything under the seat and put $10, some change, a small thing of hairspray a brush and tissues to take them time to get to the bottom of the purse. After they took his wallet the one guy ran over and rolled over the hood of the car and stuck the gun to my head through the window.

The gentleman I was with ran over to the car and got in the drivers side and I handed him my purse and I told him to throw it out of his window as far as he possibly could (verses just handing it to the guy next to me) he hesitated and I screamed at him to throw it and throw it far - because I knew they didn't trust each other and they'd all go running for it giving us time to get away. I was right, they did all go for it. However, the car wouldn't turn over and thank god we were on a hill. I was slunk down on the floor on the passenger side and reached over to help him pop the clutch on the way down. This is another instance of knowing how to handle oneself on their own and not letting macho ego get in the way. He apologized that they got everything from me and I said --'want to bet?' and pulled everything out from under the seat including some of his stuff. This episode happened within a matter of seconds. If machismo got in the way someone would have ended up dead.I didn't grow up on the mean streets to make me accustomed to such activity - quite the contrary it was upper middle class.

So, yes, I prefer to just handle things on my own with the less drama the better.
First of all... you method of solving things is exactly like my mothers. No fuss... practical... pratical... pratical In my opinion... this is a coward's way of dealing with things. Why would I want to go around a problem... when I can easily demolish it? When somebody is in my face... I don't need to go around him.... I can easily break his jaw. That is the quicked, simpletest, minimum effort, minimum thinking way to go about it.
Some guys pull out a gun at me and ask for my wallet???? I give them the wallet I give them everything... than I get in the car and driver over them. duh
That's how we did it 10000 years ago... that's how we feel(in out instincts) to do it now. Most women don't understand this... but most guys feel the need to ascert dominance in some situations. If the dont... they feel crappy all day.

P.S. I almost never try to pick on somebody... or show dominance over him... out of the blue. But if he started it.... of... he's in for a big surprise. I never bow down... nor do I search for minimum damage solutions. If I would take any other aproach I would be depressed for a week, after the incident.
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Old 02-17-2011, 05:16 AM
 
Location: Türkiye
499 posts, read 889,990 times
Reputation: 381
i don't want myboyfriend to be in a big fight but i want him to punch once nobody can talk to me like this, or touch me so i have to choose last one
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