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I'm 22 and totally independant from men. I never have relied on a man for anything, and I haven't met one yet that I would feel comfortable relying on 100%.
I support myself, two children and a parent. If I needed a man for this, none of us would have survived, because there has been no man present to do it. In this sense I am independent.
Just because a woman needs a man to "be the man" in a relationship, this does not make her dependent.
Stay calm... calm now.... don't get angry... calm... calm... okay... great job
Now getting back to the subject: We have diferent definition of "considering yourself independent".
Your definition is having to deal with a situation in which life has put you in... and have no male help. My definition is considering you can do better without male help.
I believe that if there were males and females together, BOTH of them would help the other so no one would be independent of the other.
Why would a female want to do better without a male's help?
Ah, ok, I just thought, there was JustJulia that said she could defend herself and not rely on a man to do so.
Ohhh.... and for those of you who don't know.... I am medically insane. I am diagnosticated with "bipolar, antisocial, histrionic, narcisitic and borderline" personality disorders.
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P.S. I will no longer activate on this forum seeing as it is so ****ing time consuming. :| damn It's 5 o clock in the morning... **** no. (((((((
What do you consider being independent? I am, I dont depend on a man for financial,. But if we are talking relationship I am dependent on his love, I want and crave it, Im dependend on his touch, I want and crave that.
I love men, I love the companionship, But Im not dependent on a man to take care of me, only my desires as I will take care of his.
Im not looking for a man to be dependent on but looking for someone to compliment me, just like I can compliment him.
This is a silly question compounded by a silly construct in today's society. For some reason we decided to idolize independence even though it goes against the reason we have succeeded as a species. Humans have always lived in tribes and groups because it was difficult to gather all the necessary things you needed to live on your own. The group would have to take care of one another to survive, with each member contributing. Now because life has become more convenient with technology people think they can be fully independent, although most still find this difficult as best.
There was no answer in your poll that I could pick that stated this.
This is a silly question compounded by a silly construct in today's society. For some reason we decided to idolize independence even though it goes against the reason we have succeeded as a species. Humans have always lived in tribes and groups because it was difficult to gather all the necessary things you needed to live on your own. The group would have to take care of one another to survive, with each member contributing. Now because life has become more convenient with technology people think they can be fully independent, although most still find this difficult as best.
There was no answer in your poll that I could pick that stated this.
I respectfully would like to discuss this issue...for many reasons...
First, we no longer need to have a tribe to survive....and your theory is correct to a point, but I fulfill all my mental needs by having male and female friends...however, I don't date....I've taken care of someone else all my life, from the time I was a little girl even, and now, it's just me, and I love it...the only person I'm responsible for is myself, and it's a great feeling....I used to be a people magnet, and I'm known by my friends to have a very outgoing personality....however, in the past few years...I've changed....I work full time, therefore, gaining a nice social interaction with people...but...I so look forward to my alone down time....it's so peaceful and extremely rejuvinating...and I do have a lot of friends, but fend them off, b/c I do work full time....maybe when I retire, I'll feel differently? For now, I love to work, love the social interaction....but also cherish my alone down time, peace, quiet, no noise....it's really great....and more so, I really enjoy vacationing alone...reading a book, not having to feel like I have to do what someone else wants to do, but for the first time in my life, I am pampering myself...and maybe that's selfish, however, I really do enjoy it. If I need work done around the house, I hire someone if I can't do it?
I honestly enjoy the company I keep and don't have to date to feel better about myself or so I don't have to be alone...I go out to eat a lot by myself, travel, movies, and the more I do it, the more I'd rather go by myself...
for instance, when we girls go out to eat, it's always, "well where are we going to go, and no one seems to want to say, where they want to go out of fear of leading or whatever"....and it takes time until someone finally says..."well, lets go here"....and that bugs me...so now we made a rule, the one driving, get to pick the place she wants to go.
I've been told by several men, that my independence intimidates them...men who I was romantically involved with. One told me, "There isn't anything you couldn't do if you put your mind down to it"..."he said he felt like I didn't really need him?" and maybe he was right? I don't know....
I'm not trying to say your wrong, and I'm right, but actually more so, trying to understand your point of view....and actually, when you've become so conditioned to believing something, it's difficult sometimes to understand how another person could think and feel the way they do.
First off, I don't need anyone to listen to me about my bad day...when I come home from work, I'd prefer to not think about it any longer, to me, the more you talk about it, the more it escalates the situation....I'd rather unwind, calm down and think about it later when I'm more rational...and prefer not to react in a negative way....and anything that is really bothering me, that I need advice about, I have 4 really good female friends whose judgements I admire and feel very comfortable asking them what they think, which isn't much....when I have a problem I tend to shut myself off....rather then bring others down with it...
That's what I was saying. Who are we (men) going to talk to? No one cares and few listen. Again, this is what MEN do. All you are doing is bottle-necking a problem that continues to build and build. You can only hold it in for so long. Sometimes for MANY years! I need the gal who doesn't pry it out of me but understands and comforts me. She knows how to get right to the spot and fix it. For that, women are REALLY needed. Your friends are always gonna be your friends but they can't love you like she can. Just having her do her stuff and make you a decent diner works wonders. I never fake that I'm a good cook or can sew much if anything. I'd probably wreck a sweater if I had to wash one. I'm not ashamed to admit that the "one" who can do this is my shinning star.
What do you consider being independent? I am, I dont depend on a man for financial,. But if we are talking relationship I am dependent on his love, I want and crave it, Im dependend on his touch, I want and crave that.
I love men, I love the companionship, But Im not dependent on a man to take care of me, only my desires as I will take care of his.
Im not looking for a man to be dependent on but looking for someone to compliment me, just like I can compliment him.
I agree jeepgirl...I couldn't stand having someone around me all the time anymore...not even women....my Daughter in law says, "I'm comfortable in my own skin", and I am....?
I love my dog, he loves me, and I'll tell you, no man ever greeted me at the door the way he does when I come home from work....and that's such a good and nice feeling...LOL
That's what I was saying. Who are we (men) going to talk to? No one cares and few listen. Again, this is what MEN do. All you are doing is bottle-necking a problem that continues to build and build. You can only hold it in for so long. Sometimes for MANY years! I need the gal who doesn't pry it out of me but understands and comforts me. She knows how to get right to the spot and fix it. For that, women are REALLY needed. Your friends are always gonna be your friends but they can't love you like she can. Just having her do her stuff and make you a decent diner works wonders. I never fake that I'm a good cook or can sew much if anything. I'd probably wreck a sweater if I had to wash one. I'm not ashamed to admit that the "one" who can do this is my shinning star.
But, I don't hold it in...I unwind and let it go, I walk alot, make plans, watch movies....those things take me away...b/c what will be will be, regardless of how we troubleshoot the problem...and with whom we discuss it with....you see...and I don't exactly know how to explain this, but, when I have a problem...I try not to react to it...I try to let it go, and not think about it, and remind myself, that no matter what happens, it's going to happen anyway, regardless of how I analyze it....I suppose you could call it...allowance...? But I don't need to discuss problems I have with people....some people have told me, when you have problems, thats when you need people the most...no, I don't...b/c actually I don't want to discuss it and it doesn't build up....it works itself out, no matter how I react to it, right?
does that make any sense....I'm sorry, just can't explain it any other way?
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