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So in October, because of health problems and a drastic cut in income, I quit my job of 15 years, rented out my home and moved from the city to my hometown and in with my parents. One might imagine how this has affected me emotionally, physically and all kinds of ways. I have always been an independent person, bought every last thing I owned and always had a job (before this happened). Anyway, I am still ill and am going to dr's trying to find out what the problem is. I feel overwhelmed all the time and it being around new people is VERY difficult for me right now. My adrenal glands are stuck in overdrive and I am jumpy, have tremors and feel tired all the time. So yeah I feel a bit trapped and alone in this dreadful depressing small rural town. Hopefully you can get a sense from where I am coming from. Oh, and of course, I am hoping I can get a job if I can get my health back on track. I have my own money even now and am paying some rent and pay my own bills.
On to what I came here for: My two best friends seemed to have 'abandoned' me since I have moved here. I have told them it was ok to call my cell phone any time. Just because I live with my parents doesn't mean they can't ring my phone. I don't know, things are the same and it does seem the few times we have talked they invariably ask how I am that I do tell them. Yes, its depressing and all of that but I thought friends were ones to reach out to in time of need. If one of them called me I would be there for them emotionally. One lives about 4 hours away and I have told him I want to come and visit yet he hasn't called me. I have called him the last 3 times and quite honestly I don't think I am calling again. The other friend, well we talked a little a week ago (yes, I called him too) but he too seemed a little distant himself. Both have jobs, families and such and I don't expect them to be on my doorstep or anything. I don't know, a little empathy would be nice. A phone call to say hey, I hope you are feeling better. Maybe I expect too much or.. maybe they are becoming distant. Who knows...
What do your conversations consist of? Are you always depressed or speaking negatively? Did you talk with these friends before you moved back to the area? I understand that what you are going through is depressing so I am not down playing that. Sometimes people have no idea how to respond especially when it is something beyond their control or something they do not fully understand, so they avoid. I would not keep calling. Maybe it is time to expand your horizons and look elsewhere for companionship. What about a support group?
I read your other post. Jesus. You have a TON of health/emotional issues and you've had them for a very long time. How close were these friends of yours before you moved? How far away were they? How often did you hang out and talk? I'm thinking that these friends simply have no idea what they can do anymore, for someone with such serious ongoing issues.
Well, usually the conversations from started out how you are doing? (simple enough). And they proceed to talk about themselves and what is going on (pretty normal). Then they ask how I am and I of course tell him how things are - still sick, unemployed and such. Ok, I don't moan about it I am just stating how things are. I don't go on and on about it either. Really, I just tell them straight out. No, I am not always so down and such but since this has come about yes I feel negatively. I do try to watch my speech and not be so down. I do realize other people have problems and issues and I do try to listen to their issues, things going on with stuff in their lives. I spoke with these friends, prior to the move, one, about 2x a month or so and the other probably 2-3x a week - mostly online when I saw him online would chat a few minutes. I live in a small town so a support group is out of the question. Besides, everyone here knows my family - people in small towns are 'all' related and talk gets around.
Well, usually the conversations from started out how you are doing? (simple enough). And they proceed to talk about themselves and what is going on (pretty normal). Then they ask how I am and I of course tell him how things are - still sick, unemployed and such. Ok, I don't moan about it I am just stating how things are. I don't go on and on about it either. Really, I just tell them straight out. No, I am not always so down and such but since this has come about yes I feel negatively. I do try to watch my speech and not be so down. I do realize other people have problems and issues and I do try to listen to their issues, things going on with stuff in their lives. I spoke with these friends, prior to the move, one, about 2x a month or so and the other probably 2-3x a week - mostly online when I saw him online would chat a few minutes. I live in a small town so a support group is out of the question. Besides, everyone here knows my family - people in small towns are 'all' related and talk gets around.
Online? You didn't actually spend time with them...in person?
One lives about 4 hours from me and I would see him 2 to 3x a year usually. The other moved half way across the US so haven't seem him in about 6 years.
One lives about 4 hours from me and I would see him 2 to 3x a year usually. The other moved half way across the US so haven't seem him in about 6 years.
I suspect the friendships are pretty much at the end of their useful life. Extended illness and distance combined, is hard to overcome.
Those friends aren't that close anyway. It sounds like your position has made you more sensitive to it. Focus on you now rather than what you cannot control.
I read your other thread and some things ring true from what I went through after a major anxiety attack. Had the same symptoms of weakness & tremors. I felt shaky & emotionally raw. The slightest thing set me off into a panic. The only thing that helped was a change in diet and a change in my lifestyle.
I got rid of a mercury filling in my tooth. Had one that was flaking a bit. It's controversial, not proven scientifically but my shakiness stopped. My diet consisted of protein (preferably organ meats), veggies, no carbs, no sugar, alcohol or any stimulants. The origin of what you have may not be what I had, but the age old idea of treating the symptoms and helping your body help itself is worth a try at least.
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If one of them called me I would be there for them emotionally. One lives about 4 hours away and I have told him I want to come and visit yet he hasn't called me. I have called him the last 3 times and quite honestly I don't think I am calling again. The other friend, well we talked a little a week ago (yes, I called him too) but he too seemed a little distant himself. Both have jobs, families and such and I don't expect them to be on my doorstep or anything. I don't know, a little empathy would be nice. A phone call to say hey, I hope you are feeling better. Maybe I expect too much or.. maybe they are becoming distant. Who knows...
