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Hey y'all, I've been avoiding the relationships board for awhile, mostly because I haven't had a lot of romantic interests going on in my personal life but I have new news: to make a long story short, I let this guy I've been dating touch me down there for the first time last night, no clothes were off, just my panties...I told him I didn't want to be just a "fling" for him & he told me that he wanted me for more than that, we've been talking since November & I feel like he was honest & that I can be myself around him...I just didn't want to feel slutty. That's all that's happened, the most we've done is kiss/make out. No other fooling around, etc. etc. He's 10 yrs older than I am & much more experienced & comfortable with exploring his sexuality than I am (I'm in my early '20s, he's in his early '30s) & he says he knows women have needs/desires too & he's not judging me for it...he's kind of a liberal guy, & I'm somewhat traditional (even though letting him feel me up wasn't a "nice girl" thing to do) Was it slutty/wrong of me that I let him touch me & he fondled my breasts (albeit clothed) a little bit? & do you think he really doesn't believe in the double standard for women?
Be careful that you don't let him write checks you really don't wanna cash!
I don't agree and I'm not into playing games. I've always talked to all the men I've dated and watched how they treated me and situations around them. Also talked to them about their life and goals. Gave me an idea on what type of person they were. Of course I don't hold a talking marathon with them or a deep complex conversation with them either. Most of the time it's just casual talk.
I don't agree with the cat and mouse game but that's just me.
I do agree in having conversations, but having "the talk" (where is this going) right after fooling around ....
He can tell her he is going to love her forever, and then have sex and dissapear.
I personally have never got a man to take any relationship to the next level by talking. Men do not understand words, they understand NO CONTACT. When they do not feel pressured, it is easier to see where they are coming from.
Get busy doing other things and do not worry about it.
I agree with this. Keep yourself busy and let things between both of you come natural. Don't sit by the phone and wait for him to call. Live your life.
I do agree in having conversations, but having "the talk" (where is this going) right after fooling around ....
He can tell her he is going to love her forever, and then have sex and dissapear.
I personally have never got a man to take any relationship to the next level by talking. Men do not understand words, they understand NO CONTACT. When they do not feel pressured, it is easier to see where they are coming from.
JMO
I understand what you're saying. Yeah, I would wait awhile and take it slowly and keep busy and see where it goes.
Location: Fort Bend County, TX/USA/Mississauga, ON/Canada
2,702 posts, read 6,026,589 times
Reputation: 2304
Quote:
Originally Posted by buddy5
Is he married?
No, not at all. He is older than me though, he's in his '30s & I'm in my '20s. That was one of my concerns, the age difference. We are both single & childless, lol.
Thanks max's mama, I feel like you're the only one who's getting me right now.
I understand the feeling of uncertainty, so I do want to bring up few points.
First of all, observe his actions. Do you feel like he is treating you in the way that you want to be treated? Does he show you the respect and attention that you need or do you feel like it's lacking something?
Be open and up front with him. I'm not a fan of hiding your feelings, he needs to know about your nagging feeling of uncertainty. Don't forget that he is much older than you and probably is used to a more experienced woman. It's not a bad thing, but he may not be totally on board with waiting as long as you need to.
Lastly, life is nothing without risks. I'm assuming that due to lack of experience, even if a guy is amazing, you will still be afraid that he only wants you for sex. You can't do this to yourself, sometimes in life you need to take risks. If a man is the right man for you, go with your gut and take chances.
No, not at all. He is older than me though, he's in his '30s & I'm in my '20s. That was one of my concerns, the age difference. We are both single & childless, lol.
I wouldn't worry about the age, men usually mature slower than women. You decide if, when and/or how. If he really cares about you, he will wait. If he won't wait, and tries to push you, he has an agenda. Don't let anyone tell/make you do anything, with your body, or anything else.
"Lastly, life is nothing without risks. I'm assuming that due to lack of experience, even if a guy is amazing, you will still be afraid that he only wants you for sex. You can't do this to yourself, sometimes in life you need to take risks. If a man is the right man for you, go with your gut and take chances."
There are an awful lot of women, raising children alone, who felt the same way. For every 100 men who said; if you love me, you will (fill in the blank), 99 left.
"Lastly, life is nothing without risks. I'm assuming that due to lack of experience, even if a guy is amazing, you will still be afraid that he only wants you for sex. You can't do this to yourself, sometimes in life you need to take risks. If a man is the right man for you, go with your gut and take chances."
There are an awful lot of women, raising children alone, who felt the same way. For every 100 men who said; if you love me, you will (fill in the blank), 99 left.
Don't be ridiculous. I'm not advising her to run off and have unprotected sex. As far as I know he hasn't given her that ultimatum.
And I want to see a link for that statistic.
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