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Old 03-03-2011, 11:16 AM
 
545 posts, read 1,555,741 times
Reputation: 518

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I'm 20 and I met a girl who said she had multiple boyfriends in high school (I'm assuming a few during college as well).

I don't care about that but I'm afraid I can't make her happy. I really like her and I'm willing to do everything it takes to make her happy but I don't know what to do.

Also, we're from different backgrounds. I'm really conservative, I rarely drink, don't do drugs, and have great relationships with my parents. She said she had drug issues and problems with her family. I don't mind those things because she said they happened in the past and are not an issue anymore, but is there anyway for me to help her to deal with them? Also, she kind of got turned-off after she asked me how many girls I've been with (I told her none).

I've never felt this way before, but I feel like I'm willing to do everything for her.
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Old 03-03-2011, 11:26 AM
 
Location: Türkiye
499 posts, read 891,766 times
Reputation: 381
if you will be able to respect each other's life style, then there's no problem. but i think you're too good to her and she won't appreciate your value. But of course you are the one who knows her, not me

Last edited by whoowhoo; 03-03-2011 at 11:51 AM..
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Old 03-03-2011, 11:32 AM
 
Location: Where Dance Music comes first
1,904 posts, read 2,986,961 times
Reputation: 2260
Quote:
Originally Posted by whoowhoo View Post
if you will be able to respects each other's life style, then there's no problem. but i think you're too good to her and she won't appreciate your value. But of course you are the one who knows her, not me
This made me lol. You should see the kind of threads this kid starts on CD.
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Old 03-03-2011, 11:46 AM
 
Location: Türkiye
499 posts, read 891,766 times
Reputation: 381
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raging-Hetero View Post
This made me lol. You should see the kind of threads this kid starts on CD.
lol i don't know him but i'll follow him from now on
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Old 03-03-2011, 11:49 AM
 
6,548 posts, read 7,277,719 times
Reputation: 3821
A girl who brags about having multiple boyfriends, uses drugs, etc. is this the kind of girl you like? If so, well, that’s your decision.

In the other hand, if she likes you and she decided to be with you then I don’t see why worry about not being enough for her. She already saw things in you that wants her to be with you so its all good.
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Old 03-03-2011, 12:21 PM
 
2,516 posts, read 5,686,789 times
Reputation: 4672
Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
A girl who brags about having multiple boyfriends, uses drugs, etc. is this the kind of girl you like? If so, well, that’s your decision.

In the other hand, if she likes you and she decided to be with you then I don’t see why worry about not being enough for her. She already saw things in you that wants her to be with you so its all good.
I wouldn't be so quick to call it bragging. Divulging one's past is usually done to get the other person to divulge theirs an learn more about them.


Malkiel,
The girl getting turned off is a great example of not buying into the antiquated thinking that gets thrown around on this board. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that being a virgin makes you a bad person, clearly it does not. We were all there once. But it has a negative stigma to it in that you are inexperienced, don't know how to pleasure a woman (many woman would argue that most guys with experience don't either, lol), you may be clingy, etc, etc. My advice, if you don't even up sleeping with this girl, refrain from exposing your sexual past, or in this case, lack thereof, to avoid having a negative label attached in the future. More people are going to give you crap about it than appreciate it. Times are changing, and you can either accept it and roll with it, or you can be bitter and let it eat you up. Stressing over how everyone is immoral blah blah blah. I'll be honest, I want nothing to do with a woman who's a virgin. None. I'd run the other way but I won't get into that because I could easily spend an hour explaining why. Bottom line, if you like her, play it cool. Be confident. Don't think of yourself as a virgin. Don't let her experience make you feel insecure. Remind yourself that you have something to offer outside of sex that makes you worth dating. And don't try to let someone tell you that she's a bad person because she's tried drugs or is a little turned off by the fact that you are a virgin. Some people choose to live and experience life. Judge her based on how she treats people as opposed to things she's experienced. Only you can decide if she's worth dating.

And unless you have some moral reason for being a virgin, I'd get that over with ASAP (just don't go knocking anyone up). Be safe, be smart and get that monkey off your back and you'll have an easier time approaching woman and you'll spend less time running them off with insecurity that virgins tend to exhibit.
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Old 03-03-2011, 12:28 PM
 
6,548 posts, read 7,277,719 times
Reputation: 3821
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ankhharu View Post
I wouldn't be so quick to call it bragging. Divulging one's past is usually done to get the other person to divulge theirs an learn more about them.
Could be. Then again, women are not known for being totally open and upfront about all the guy’s they have been with.
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Old 03-03-2011, 12:52 PM
 
550 posts, read 984,442 times
Reputation: 671
I don't understand why you can't get together if one is more experienced than the other. What's wrong with the more experienced one being a good teacher for the less experienced one, as long as the less experienced one is a good student? I think this girl should be very very flattered that you want her because you have never had sex before and you chose her out of 1000's of women.
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Old 03-03-2011, 12:56 PM
 
Location: Tower of Heaven
4,023 posts, read 7,371,023 times
Reputation: 1450
Quote:
Originally Posted by Malkiel View Post
I'm 20 and I met a girl who said she had multiple boyfriends in high school (I'm assuming a few during college as well).

I don't care about that but I'm afraid I can't make her happy. I really like her and I'm willing to do everything it takes to make her happy but I don't know what to do.

Also, we're from different backgrounds. I'm really conservative, I rarely drink, don't do drugs, and have great relationships with my parents. She said she had drug issues and problems with her family. I don't mind those things because she said they happened in the past and are not an issue anymore, but is there anyway for me to help her to deal with them? Also, she kind of got turned-off after she asked me how many girls I've been with (I told her none).

I've never felt this way before, but I feel like I'm willing to do everything for her.
no problemo
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Old 03-03-2011, 01:36 PM
 
Location: Maryland
2,652 posts, read 4,797,363 times
Reputation: 2331
Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
Could be. Then again, women are not known for being totally open and upfront about all the guy’s they have been with.
Not true, onihC. My number is 2. One of the guys was my hubs.
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