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Old 03-04-2011, 12:28 PM
 
94 posts, read 169,531 times
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Yesterday, we talked a bit like we always do after work. She's battling a reoccurring bacterial infection. I've been, and she also said several times, very supportive in listening to her, offering to go anywhere she needs with her, etc. All her friends like me, as I've met them several times already. So her doc said we should lay off the condoms and just go bare with her on the pill. I said I would rather stay with the condoms. She asked why? I just said I preferred it, she asked again, and I told her I had a talk with my doc about everything and he recommended we stay with condoms since there is a chance she may have an incurable disease that I possibly can catch. She said, but we do not know for sure. I said yes, and told her about the test the doc told me about. She got upset and said she won't take the test. I said fine, then let's just stick with condoms. She said fine. Then she said she did not know why I even asked my doc about it. Anyway, going back and forth, I tried changing the subject, but we went back to this over and over again. She said I keep on bring it up. I said I've not brought it up since you told me about the disease you might have (all tests were inconclusive), and said YOU brought this up tonight not me. And YOU pressed me on why. She then said I did not have to go into so much detail and I could had been less blunt and direct about it. Nevertheless, she said, well, I'd better go, it's getting late. We each said good night and then said I love you, she hung up. Tried texting her this morning around 10:30, no response. Still, four hours later, no response. We usually text a few times during work. So.. I really do not know what to do nor what I did that was so wrong... We've been dating since November.
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Old 03-04-2011, 12:36 PM
 
Location: My Private Island
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Keep wearing your jimmy hats.
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Old 03-04-2011, 12:43 PM
 
94 posts, read 169,531 times
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Yes, I get that. I just do not get why she is so upset with me. I did not cause the disease. All I am trying to do is protect myself. It doesn't change the way I feel about her. However, I do not understand why she is upset with me.
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Old 03-04-2011, 12:44 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
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Yea, no way I would go in without the condom. She will have to get over it.
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Old 03-04-2011, 12:45 PM
 
Location: U.S.A.
19,638 posts, read 20,130,445 times
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Doctors will never tell a woman with a bacterial infection to "lay off the condoms." (Unless she has a latex allergy- find out. )

You should lay off sex altogether until her infection goes away. This is her health and it is important.

She cannot have sex or consume alcohol while on antibiotics, period. Antibiotics also greatly reduce the effectiveness of birth control, so definitely keep using condoms.

& yes, she should get tested, because that is not normal, and could indicate a more serious problem. You should both go together.


On the flipside though, she's probably really grossed out and embarrassed. Be supportive if you're her man and want to be in her *****.
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Old 03-04-2011, 12:46 PM
 
3,083 posts, read 4,869,027 times
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she needs to be more understanding, she is in the wrong IMO
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Old 03-04-2011, 12:50 PM
 
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I'd say keep it covered and sorry she doesn't see the sane side of this. I'd personally not want to risk it without the appropriate we are clean tests
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Old 03-04-2011, 12:55 PM
 
Location: My Private Island
4,941 posts, read 8,314,311 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by siteuser View Post
Yes, I get that. I just do not get why she is so upset with me. I did not cause the disease. All I am trying to do is protect myself. It doesn't change the way I feel about her. However, I do not understand why she is upset with me.
How do you know you didn't cause the disease? Some women catch bacterial infections quite easily. The interior of a woman's vagina is warm and any oustide bacteria can easily form. You like it in there.....so do other things...not all of them pleasant for a women to deal with.

You shouldn't treat her any differently and lay of the sex period until the infection clears up.
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Old 03-04-2011, 12:58 PM
 
94 posts, read 169,531 times
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The doc says she's allergic to latex. I suggested the non-latex, so that was what were are using. We've not had sex since the infection had re-occurred.. I am not going to force her to get tested. She kinda hinted that she said I am going to force her to ket tested.. She then said, she doesn't know what she will do if she is positive. She said it would screw her up mentally. I said there is a treatment she can take, but it is for the rest of her life. She didn't want to do that either. I said, what happens if and when I get effected? How will you feel then? Her belief is that she's only been with two other guys in her whole life. One she had unprotected sex with for a few years, he's doesn't have it so she doesn't have it. Then she said she doesn't blame me for my hesitation.

However, I will be tested soon, and will share the results with her. So either way, she will know. Cause, I've not been with anyone else in near a year. I really do not know what all the fuss is about. And the cold shoulder she's giving me I do not feel is fair either. I like her for her. One stupid little virus is not going to stop me. When she first told me, I didn't run. When she thought she saw something, we talked about it, it was nothing and I calmed her down. Again, I didn't run. But I all I did last night was tell her the truth of what my doc said and what she should do. Then she went haywire. Going on and on on how she's always been careful and doesn't understand how she could maybe have it.
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Old 03-04-2011, 12:59 PM
 
94 posts, read 169,531 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seeniorita View Post
How do you know you didn't cause the disease? Some women catch bacterial infections quite easily. The interior of a woman's vagina is warm and any oustide bacteria can easily form. You like it in there.....so do other things...not all of them pleasant for a women to deal with.

You shouldn't treat her any differently and lay of the sex period until the infection clears up.
I was tested before we started dating for everything. She's had the infection before over the summer.
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