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Old 04-03-2011, 10:06 PM
 
369 posts, read 617,490 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by suedonym View Post
i think when you stop looking, you will start finding...
I think when you stop finding, you will start looking
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Old 04-04-2011, 11:52 AM
 
1,300 posts, read 2,569,994 times
Reputation: 1295
You should put down a list of that you won't put up with in a guy. I remember hearing that on a radio talk show years ago. He said that's what a lot of women made the mistake of just making a list of what they want, instead of doing the flip side afterwards. I did those two lists and I got him!
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Old 04-04-2011, 12:34 PM
 
Location: overlooking the mighty MO
697 posts, read 1,280,033 times
Reputation: 1388
sounds like a capture when you say "I got him"
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Old 04-04-2011, 12:49 PM
 
2,618 posts, read 6,157,047 times
Reputation: 2119
Quote:
Originally Posted by stressedCollegeGirl89 View Post
My list:

  • hardworking, honest
  • likes to be independent, no moochers; definitely has at least one job (preferably on the regular)
  • treats others right w/ kindness, courtesy and respect
  • stands up and defends others, not a coward
  • adventurous, loves to travel and will go on mini and big adventures, likes to try new things
  • humorous, can make me laugh
  • knowledgeable & always seeking knowledge
  • loving, caring, passionate
  • someone who will not put up with bullcrap (especially mine)
Honestly, lists won't help you. It's good to know what you want, and maybe writing down what you're looking for is a good idea, but if you take this list and post it on your desk or fridge you're only going to pidgeon hole yourself.

I think you're going to find entering the real world as opposed to college: not all men are desperate for a relationship, especially the ones with the qualities you've mentioned.

If you want a relationship, I think you should start making a list of things YOU bring to the table. Why would a guy want to date you? How can you make someone else happy? If you can answer those questions and portray yourself in that manner, you will attract like-minded people and eventually find someone with the same values who is a good fit for you and for him.

Men with all the qualities you list are rare and they don't exactly chase after girls who make lists for themselves. You have to bring something to the table too.

Edit note: Dating isn't something you can analyze and "figure out", you gotta just go with it and do what makes you happy. Don't over think, just go with your gut and try to meet new people. When the right guy comes along you'll both feel it.
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Old 04-04-2011, 12:56 PM
 
Location: Mountains of Oregon
17,626 posts, read 22,597,101 times
Reputation: 14365
Howdy stressed .

Imho you might enjoy joining a singles bowling league. Perhaps you will meet someone you like. I've seen many couples get together.




Best of Luck to you.
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Old 04-04-2011, 01:16 PM
 
4,098 posts, read 7,099,379 times
Reputation: 5682
Ok, you have made a list of what you are looking for in a guy. Did you ever stop to thing maybe the guys have a list too? What do you have to offer a guy? I'm sure you know it can't be all about you, and I'm not suggesting you think it is. Are you what most guys want in a girl? Do you know what these wants really are? Can you bend a bit and tolerate differences that don't really matter? How do your parents relate to each other, and to you? All of this stuff matters at one time or another in a relationship. Lastly, there have been movies made about people that make a list then go looking for the perfect person, it doesn't ever seem to work out right in the movies, and I doubt that it will in real life.
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Old 04-29-2011, 01:07 PM
 
1 posts, read 932 times
Reputation: 10
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Old 04-29-2011, 01:43 PM
 
538 posts, read 1,520,202 times
Reputation: 723
Quote:
Originally Posted by stressedCollegeGirl89 View Post
  • hardworking, honest
  • likes to be independent, no moochers; definitely has at least one job (preferably on the regular)
  • treats others right w/ kindness, courtesy and respect
  • stands up and defends others, not a coward
  • adventurous, loves to travel and will go on mini and big adventures, likes to try new things
  • humorous, can make me laugh
  • knowledgeable & always seeking knowledge
  • loving, caring, passionate
  • someone who will not put up with bullcrap (especially mine)
So, you want a normal person. Won't find that around here, that's for sure!!!

Expand on that and fine a unique person!
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Old 04-29-2011, 02:11 PM
 
1,413 posts, read 3,044,731 times
Reputation: 1367
Quote:
Originally Posted by stressedCollegeGirl89 View Post
It's been almost 9 months since I was in a relationship. I would love to get on the dating scene, but I haven't met anyone who I would be interested in dating casually...or met anyone for that matter. After my last relationship, I don't really want to get into a serious relationship...too "draining." If fact, I've never been the kind of person to go out on many dates, just go one maybe a few "dates" with a guy and then get into a serious relationship with them. Between, classes, homework, volunteer work, and working at the computer lab, it's been the same old, same old every week. I cannot find or meet anyone that is on my wavelength. A lot of these guys here at my college don't have the things that I look for in a guy.

What is a young lady to do? How can I effectively change my dating course?
I don't really understand your problem.

You say yourself that you're not looking for a serious relationship.

You're in college, should be pretty easy to find guys that are looking for something casual.

Is it just that they aren't good enough for you? OK, then I guess you're not that hard up yet lol
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Old 04-29-2011, 02:37 PM
 
Location: Woodinville
3,184 posts, read 4,839,668 times
Reputation: 6283
Quote:
Originally Posted by suedonym View Post
i think when you stop looking, you will start finding...
Quote:
Originally Posted by WaltHowe View Post
I think when you stop finding, you will start looking
I think when you stop starting, you will look finding.
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