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Some of us would prefer to have sex with a woman who finds us attractive also, even if thats extremely unlikely. One of the reasons I'm not interested in visiting a prostitute is simply because a prostitute only wants your money and there is no physical attraction involved. She wants you out there as fast as possible. You're having sex while at the same time she thinks you're an ugly so and so. I don't see the appeal in that?
If you have absolutely no chance of ever getting laid or ever entering a relationship before you die, then perhaps, but otherwise, the concept seems even more depressing than going without sex.
PS: I realise I'm replying to you from over a year ago, but what the heck.
Exactly. Losing it to a prostitute would feel worse than never losing it.
Because I have good looks (just take my word for it) am confident, in shape, have a decent job...yet still, no girl? If I was hideous or something then at least I could reason a little bit but I'm so far from those supposedly undesirable traits that I'm left wondering why?
I know the bulk of my problem is finding the right type of girl. Unfortunately, I never took advantage of my good attributes to get girls when I was in school so now I feel very much left out...and sad.
Where can I meet girls? I live in the suburbs and drive to and from work everyday -- hardly do I meet anybody new.
Its not about looks or money.
The key is to not have even a HINT of: awkwardness, weirdness or social ineptitude.
Women pick up on this, you can't be weird....if you're "normal" you can get girls, even if don't have model looks or a huge bank account.
Now, the catch 22 might be "if you cant get girls, how can you get experience in order to not seem weird"
My first piece of advice would be to make sure you don't buy into ANY stereotypes about women. Don't buy into the idea that you have to be good looking or rich to land hot women. Its extremely important that you don't believe any of this to be true. Its also very important to not believe that women like men who treat them like crap and that if you are a "nice guy" you won't get anywhere.
Because I have good looks (just take my word for it) am confident, in shape, have a decent job...yet still, no girl? If I was hideous or something then at least I could reason a little bit but I'm so far from those supposedly undesirable traits that I'm left wondering why?
I know the bulk of my problem is finding the right type of girl. Unfortunately, I never took advantage of my good attributes to get girls when I was in school so now I feel very much left out...and sad.
Where can I meet girls? I live in the suburbs and drive to and from work everyday -- hardly do I meet anybody new.
First and foremost, you have to value yourself with something other than your job, your car, your wealth or your appearance!
I completely feel for you! I'm kind of in the same position.
I guess that shyness has something to do with your issue or some sort of social awkwardness. It could be that you're quite introverted and girls don't really pay attention to you. Girls want guys to approach them so if you're good-looking, you shouldn't be having any problems approaching girls unless there's something holding you back. Have you tried approaching girls or do you have a fear of rejection?
It could also be that girls think you're unapproachable and therefore don't really bother trying. You're the guy and most girls believe you should be the one chasing! It's easier said than done but you're never going to find someone if you keep throwing yourself pity parties on the sole grounds that you don't put yourself out there.
It could also be you have high/unrealistic standards without realizing and no girl can meet those standards.
Also, I genuinely believe that location has a lot to do with the range of opportunities one has to meet someone. Forget about church .. it's not made for speed dating. Don't you have any friends who can hook you up with someone?
I would strongly advise against online dating because it's not reliable at all (imo). You never really know what to expect and girls tend to have higher standards on there than they do in real life. Besides, it's a waste of time if you're looking for the real deal. Talking to someone for weeks isn't going to help. Or, you could use it to gain "experience" in dating but with zero expectations.
Do you even have any idea what you're looking for? A long-term girlfriend? A casual relationship?
If you know what you're looking for in terms of relationship, do you even know what (realistic) attributes you're looking for in a girl?
The fact that you mentioned you're a "virgin" implies that you're more horny than lonely but I could be wrong!
Last edited by LostinPhilly; 05-27-2014 at 05:38 AM..
A lot of guys try too hard, do things to impress women and they end up being creepy.
A lot of times I have been with a woman and then one thing leads to another and we end up having sex, most of the times I have never even hinted I wanted it, so I guess it goes to prove that women like sex a lot and they go for it if they feel secure, not judged and they find you attractive-approachable.
Of course if you look like George Clooney its going to be easier, but women on general (no drama queens and princesses), like to feel wanted, safe and someone to talk-communicate with…
I'm not going to read another of these threads (it's not the first time a 'good looking' guy has had problems getting girls) but buddy, not all attraction is based on good looks. More than half of the problem is non-physical.
Why is the advice always 'join a church, club.etc' what are these clubs most people are talking about, honestly? The stamp collecting society? Not many women in my area join special interest clubs. Maybe scrapbooking or talking about babies but that's generally after they get married.
Maybe it's because I live in a big city, but we have lots of clubs to join.
Running, single meet ups, wine clubs, book clubs, gold associations, car clubs, tennis clubs, etc...
Very hard. Best advice is to approach different women, and try your luck. It's a gamble, but maybe 1 will say yes, and you can go out.
Or, if you could try a club. Many girls want to hook up with attractive men. If you're ok with a ONS. But that is something to advise against for a virgin.
I thought of doing that myself. But usually for a ONS, they expect the sex to be hot heavy, and mind-blowing. So, they won't care to have one with a virgin. And it'll probably be a tad obvious that you're one, if not that, they'll just think you're clumsy or bad in bed lol
I recommend going to the mall. Many girls there shopping, and you can approach and speak to her. No rush or anything. A nice casual meeting, maybe exchanging numbers.
And with the mall, there's bound to be so many girls, that if one says no, there'll be another girl somewhere, and you can try and talk with her.
So, it's kind of a gambling game. Just don't come of as desperate, or awkward. Be nice, down to earth, and positive. Nothing to personal that may scare her off.
It's like Ray Romano. Before he was famous, he worked at a place where he asked out 2 or 3 girls who all rejected him. Then he asked out his wife, who was his 3rd, or 4th choice, and she was the only one that said yes. Then he added in "now she's shopping in the mall she owns." lol
I bet most of why you even feel this way is because like so many other misguided guys, you've fallen into the trap of linking your self value, self esteem and worth to whether you can get a female companionship or a gf.
Take a look through all of the advice so far, I bet hardly any of it will focus on this because so many others also have the same view without even realising it or knowing why. I believe many other men and women all project and assume the link between a mans worth and female validation.
It's evident with the ''you can't get laid'' or ''virgins are losers'' or claims that men who are involuntarily celebrate are some how losers. Just imagine Nikola Tesla had an attitude that he was a loser or a pitiful male because he had never had sex, do you think we would still have Alternating Current and all of the other related inventions due to him?
You think you are a most pitiful 24 year old because you have never had a gf and never had sex. Think about that for a second, think with logic, break it down and ask yourself why you even have this view. Why would you see yourself as pitiful because you have never had the companionship of another normal human being yet? Females are just normal human beings, nothing more, nothing less.
Is the view yours or is it something you have come to naturally / automatically hold true due to everyone else having such a view.
My advice to you, focus on yourself, live your life, be the best you can be for yourself, learn about yourself, empower yourself, work on your self esteem and find out who you are and what you want to be.
I believe societies flawed linking of a mans worth with female validation can be dangerous and has no bearing on a mans value or worth period. It's only a learned behaviour and an extremely flawed one at that. All men should learn this at a very young age.
Don't get me wrong, I love women and enjoy their company just as much as the next guy but it has no bearing on my self worth, self esteem or anything else. It has no bearing on my masculinity and if I have no female company or women decide they aren't interested in me then I just move on.
Last edited by QuestOfTruth; 05-28-2014 at 08:59 AM..
I bet most of why you even feel this way is because like so many other misguided guys, you've fallen into the trap of linking your self value, self esteem and worth to whether you can get a female companionship or a gf.
Take a look through all of the advice so far, I bet hardly any of it will focus on this because so many others also have the same view without even realising it or knowing why. I believe many other men and women all project and assume the link between a mans worth and female validation.
It's evident with the ''you can't get laid'' or ''virgins are losers'' or claims that men who are involuntarily celebrate are some how losers. Just imagine Nikola Tesla had an attitude that he was a loser or a pitiful male because he had never had sex, do you think we would still have Alternating Current and all of the other related inventions due to him?
You think you are a most pitiful 24 year old because you have never had a gf and never had sex. Think about that for a second, think with logic, break it down and ask yourself why you even have this view. Why would you see yourself as pitiful because you have never had the companionship of another normal human being yet? Females are just normal human beings, nothing more, nothing less.
Is the view yours or is it something you have come to naturally / automatically hold true due to everyone else having such a view.
My advice to you, focus on yourself, live your life, be the best you can be for yourself, learn about yourself, empower yourself, work on your self esteem and find out who you are and what you want to be.
I believe societies flawed linking of a mans worth with female validation can be dangerous and has no bearing on a mans value or worth period. It's only a learned behaviour and an extremely flawed one at that. All men should learn this at a very young age.
Don't get me wrong, I love women and enjoy their company just as much as the next guy but it has no bearing on my self worth, self esteem or anything else. It has no bearing on my masculinity and if I have no female company or women decide they aren't interested in me then I just move on.
This ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If I was the OP I would only go after woman interested in you sure she might not be the hottest woman ever but you will get experience in dating and you can build from that.
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