finding it difficult to listen to my own advice (boyfriend, women, friend)
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ok here is my story. I keep initiating the first move and saying ''hi'' to someone that i like. All the time i tell myself dont say hello to them again because they wont say it first, but everytime i see them i just cant help myself. I dont know why this is, but i feel like i lose all my self discipline to approach them when i first see them. . Well today i sent this person a text message. She has just returned from Turkey a few days ago and so i texted her on whatsapp to say that i hope she is doing well and to ask her how her vacation was. She read the message but didnt reply back and signed off. What should i do? My gut feeling is telling me that she is willing to lose contact with me. My problem is that i dont have really any other women in the picture at the moment and so when it comes to women i concetrate most of my energy on this one woman and i know that this is not good. It seems a classic example of the head telling you to do the right thing, but then the heart goes and does what it wants anyway and i feel like im embarassing myself because of it.
I guess all you can do is just accept it and move on. You really want someone who likes you a lot anyway, right? If she doesn't, then it wasn't meant to be, her loss. It's possible she even has a boyfriend.
I think we all do that we know better then to waste our time on certain people but we do it anyhow, and while were great at giving advice we can take it.
I actually feel a bit dissapointed that she ignored me today. She has never ignored me before. Even though she ignored me and i feel dissapointed about it, i just know that it still wont stop me from saying hi to her again the next time i see her. Im very smitten with her. Should i stop trying to contact her completely? I could avoid her if i tried, i also see her on facebook sometimes- should i delete her from that?
I actually feel a bit dissapointed that she ignored me today. She has never ignored me before. Even though she ignored me and i feel dissapointed about it, i just know that it still wont stop me from saying hi to her again the next time i see her. Im very smitten with her. Should i stop trying to contact her completely? I could avoid her if i tried, i also see her on facebook sometimes- should i delete her from that?
Well, if you have the will power to be persistent, then go for it. Sometimes it pays off (but not always).
It's entirely possible she read your message and meant to respond, but she got caught up in something else. This happens to me sometimes with text messages. I try not to do it, but if my response can wait, the person who texted me may have to wait a while for a response.
Either way I think you should focus on meeting other people and talking to this girl on your terms. There are other girls out there and you're limiting yourself by focusing so much on her. If it bothers you this much, you may just want to block her for a little while on the app you were using.
everything is telling me to go and find another girl. All indications are telling me to do that. She never makes much effort to try to stay in contact, even though she says she wants to be friends. I dont understand what her definition of what a friend is. As i have said i am absolutely smitten by her. When we first met, i couldnt believe it. I was blown away by her. We seemed to hit it off straight away. I couldnt believe how easily my guard came down with her. I felt comfortable around her because she didnt seem like one of these women that i find out to be a head-case a while after i get involved with them. I had alot of hope about where it could go, which is why it bothers me now that now it seems like i have my answer and it doesent appear to be going anywhere with her. It makes me realise that yeah it was great when we first met but it hasnt progressed much since then and that is possibly as far as it will go. And i feel that its because of her choice. She doesent make it seem like im very important to her but i feel powerless to do anything. Because of my job its difficult for me to go out and meet someone else, and so this girl is easier for me to interact with because i can talk to her sometimes through texting and online chats.
See, I've been in your shoes. Slightly different level of relationship than yours but I still was the one who initiated contact. There were days I told myself, "Do NOT initiate contact, don't do it, God you sound so fricken needy!" And I would wait, being all self disciplined. One time I made it three days. Holy crap that sucked...three days and he didn't initiate crap. So what did my dumb ass do? After three days, when I couldn't stand it anymore....I initiated contact. UGH!!!!!!!!!
Years later I look back at how I acted. Man did I like this guy. He sent me mixed messages and I knew he liked me, as well, just never knew exactly how much. It was a horrible roller coaster and I spent way more time than I should have thinking about it. So I look back at that and it's fricken embarrassing.
I don't ever want to be embarrassed about myself over something so dumb ever again. I think about that if I ever find myself in situations where I wish someone would go out of their way to contact me or initiate a conversation/text/email exchange. I tell myself, "Do not be that girl, ever again!"
See, I've been in your shoes. Slightly different level of relationship than yours but I still was the one who initiated contact. There were days I told myself, "Do NOT initiate contact, don't do it, God you sound so fricken needy!" And I would wait, being all self disciplined. One time I made it three days. Holy crap that sucked...three days and he didn't initiate crap. So what did my dumb ass do? After three days, when I couldn't stand it anymore....I initiated contact. UGH!!!!!!!!!
Years later I look back at how I acted. Man did I like this guy. He sent me mixed messages and I knew he liked me, as well, just never knew exactly how much. It was a horrible roller coaster and I spent way more time than I should have thinking about it. So I look back at that and it's fricken embarrassing.
I don't ever want to be embarrassed about myself over something so dumb ever again. I think about that if I ever find myself in situations where I wish someone would go out of their way to contact me or initiate a conversation/text/email exchange. I tell myself, "Do not be that girl, ever again!"
That is how I discipline myself now.
I go sometimes weeks without talking to her mainly because of her lack of availablity. We lost contact for about nine months at one point. But anytime i see her available now, i dont even give it a seconds thought. Im like ''hi'' all the time. And yes, i also feel myself spending way more time thinking about her than i should. I realise that. One day i saw her online while i was at work, and i spent the whole day talking to her when i should have been working. It was all small talk really. And i regreted it after, especially because i had to catch up on the work that i missed the entire weekend. So in that sense she is not good for me.
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