Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
When it comes to relationships, do people really want to know or do you think people should just find things out for themselves?
For me I use to get mad when a friend didn't tell me something I felt she should have but then I've known others who have said it's best to keep your mouth shut and not get involved. I recently distanced myself from someone who knew something was going on involving me but she did not tell me and I specifically asked her was there something she needed to tell me and she said no. So after I found out she knew all along I felt betrayed and blindsided and like she didn't show loyalty to me.
Do you think a friend should tell you for example if he/she saw your partner out with someone else, or someone was betraying you, would you turn on them for telling you or would you be happy they told you even though the news wasn't good?
You can never really know until it happens. For now, I will say I think I would want to know. Rather than friends, and/or family knowing that I am being played for a fool by a man who was supposed to love me. Then there's STD scare. I shouldn't have to worry about catching anything from my SO.
But this may go in "Non-romantic relationships" section. Since it's mainly asking about friendship, rather than how you'd handle the romantic relationship with infidelity.
My good friends can come to me with anything.
I would hope they would tell me if they had legitimate information that I was being wronged by someone in some way.
I am fully capable of thinking for myself and handling my own business from their.
This has to do largely with romantic relationships but I included other relationships as well. A person close to me wanted me to confront a girl this guy she is seeing is suppose to be broken off with, so I did and now I feel bad. I feel like the person I know knew he was still with her but she had convinced herself he would choose her instead. Now I even hate I got involved however I wanted the person to know the truth regardless of what he's been telling her.
She actually believes the things the girl told me which is good because I don't think the girl has any reason to lie. Pretty much everything she said has lined up with the events that have took place with the guy and the girl I know. However the girl I know is being persistent in stating they're not done. So it's like why did I even get involved when she knew all along regardless of what the girl said, she still was going to continue seeing him. She claims she's going to tell him to not talk to her until he's broken things off with his real girlfriend but I don't believe her. She has it in her mind that she can take him from her but I highly doubt that's the case.
This has to do largely with romantic relationships but I included other relationships as well. A person close to me wanted me to confront a girl this guy she is seeing is suppose to be broken off with, so I did and now I feel bad. I feel like the person I know knew he was still with her but she had convinced herself he would choose her instead. Now I even hate I got involved however I wanted the person to know the truth regardless of what he's been telling her.
She actually believes the things the girl told me which is good because I don't think the girl has any reason to lie. Pretty much everything she said has lined up with the events that have took place with the guy and the girl I know. However the girl I know is being persistent in stating they're not done. So it's like why did I even get involved when she knew all along regardless of what the girl said, she still was going to continue seeing him. She claims she's going to tell him to not talk to her until he's broken things off with his real girlfriend but I don't believe her. She has it in her mind that she can take him from her but I highly doubt that's the case.
A long time ago, my friend intervened by telling me the truth. She didn't get into the details about certain things, and she's not a gossiper. She's one of the nerdy, hippie, cool girl fun types.
Without saying much, I understand all I needed to know and thanked her.
The point is- she wasn't trying to be drama by intervening. If she was all about drama, she would've relished in the nitty gritty, said really nasty things which would not be a complete exaggeration, backstabbed. Instead, she remained neutral by not disclosing all information and trying to see all points of views.
In your case, I feel as though you were being ethical as a friend. You weren't trying to tarnish anyone, and you weren't trying to give false hopes. You also aren't trying to condone the behavior. You are simply stating the facts from what you perceive could hurt her. And, this whole thing is shady, but at least, even if the truth hurts, she has a right to know. It's how she takes the truth that determines the type of person she is. If you feel it could backfire on you, then it's on her. You're not giving her advice, so no worries. And, if she can't appreciate you for being a true friend, she's not a good friend to her own self.
Both girls being played and they both are convinced, and she's hearing one side and the other is left in the dark. And, if your friend can do this to another girl, I also would re-think my friendship with her. She's not only in denial and betraying another person, she's not going to face the truth. I can just see it. She'll probably feed into her own relentless need to control this guy and he'll leave both. Sounds like someone I may not want to hang out with.
A long time ago, my friend intervened by telling me the truth. She didn't get into the details about certain things, and she's not a gossiper. She's one of the nerdy, hippie, cool girl fun types.
Without saying much, I understand all I needed to know and thanked her.
The point is- she wasn't trying to be drama by intervening. If she was all about drama, she would've relished in the nitty gritty, said really nasty things which would not be a complete exaggeration, backstabbed. Instead, she remained neutral by not disclosing all information and trying to see all points of views.
In your case, I feel as though you were being ethical as a friend. You weren't trying to tarnish anyone, and you weren't trying to give false hopes. You also aren't trying to condone the behavior. You are simply stating the facts from what you perceive could hurt her. And, this whole thing is shady, but at least, even if the truth hurts, she has a right to know. It's how she takes the truth that determines the type of person she is. If you feel it could backfire on you, then it's on her. You're not giving her advice, so no worries. And, if she can't appreciate you for being a true friend, she's not a good friend to her own self.
Both girls being played and they both are convinced, and she's hearing one side and the other is left in the dark. And, if your friend can do this to another girl, I also would re-think my friendship with her. She's not only in denial and betraying another person, she's not going to face the truth. I can just see it. She'll probably feed into her own relentless need to control this guy and he'll leave both. Sounds like someone I may not want to hang out with.
Ive struggled with this
Ive seen a friends wife doing things she shouldn't
and I knew if I told him, the marriage would be over, 2 kids would be in a divorced home...however I knew she was never gonna leave him, she just liked male attention a little too much...
Luckily he found out on his own before I could tell him...and he divorced...and the kids (older now) are from a divorced home...both had problems they attributed to the divorce...one kid has substance issues, the other is just lazy and unmotivated...I blame a lot of it on the divorce
however...I would want my friend to tell me...bottom line is its the cheaters fault, NOT the whistle blower...hard decision...to this day I wont talk to or acknowledge this tramp...hate her for the position she put me in...not to mention the other friend we all believe to be the whistle blower
cheating hurts so many...so much collateral damage
Interesting post. I was just reading on this issue yesterday. Yes, indeed, I believe you were wronged by a someone who knew what was going on but didn't tell you. Imagine that your neighbor knew someone was breaking into your house and stealing money, but didn't bother to tell you or call the police. I think most of us would agree that they should have told you or called the police or both. That's considered just human decency. We'd all hope that if we needed emergency medical care, that someone would call 911. Imagine if everyone stood around and did nothing. Its the same here. We should all have an interest in looking out for our neighbor and helping to see that they are not wronged.
When it comes to relationships, do people really want to know or do you think people should just find things out for themselves?
For me I use to get mad when a friend didn't tell me something I felt she should have but then I've known others who have said it's best to keep your mouth shut and not get involved. I recently distanced myself from someone who knew something was going on involving me but she did not tell me and I specifically asked her was there something she needed to tell me and she said no. So after I found out she knew all along I felt betrayed and blindsided and like she didn't show loyalty to me.
Do you think a friend should tell you for example if he/she saw your partner out with someone else, or someone was betraying you, would you turn on them for telling you or would you be happy they told you even though the news wasn't good?
Is not saying anything betrayal?
People like that are considered RATS or NOSY people
I stay out of peoples businesses regardless of weather its bad or good news and not the type to expect someone to tell me every single thing
If they don't want to tell me its their business
Nosy people are not cool they create a huge mess on relationships from what i seen
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
