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Old 03-29-2011, 02:00 PM
 
Location: around the way
659 posts, read 1,101,612 times
Reputation: 440

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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhyShouldIWorry View Post
Yes x 2
Yes^3

If I've already gotten to know the woman a little and gotten her to laugh at a joke or two, the intimidation factor wears off quickly, but until something happens to break down that wall, it's definitely there. But just "cold-calling", as in going up to someone and talking to them from out of nowhere is not even a little easy.
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Old 03-29-2011, 03:40 PM
 
Location: Southern Illinois
10,364 posts, read 20,791,358 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jefetio View Post
yes
So that's why the men won't talk to me! I've just got them intimidated and should drop my ice queen act.
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Old 03-29-2011, 04:52 PM
 
1,413 posts, read 3,046,846 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka View Post
So that's why the men won't talk to me! I've just got them intimidated and should drop my ice queen act.
Yes, drop the ice queen act and your pants, and just walk right up to them with a smile and a pelvic thrust
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Old 03-29-2011, 05:03 PM
 
2,068 posts, read 4,335,877 times
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For me personally, someone I really like makes me kind of nervous but that's a good thing and that doesn't mean I don't go after that person... so nerves or shyness isn't a deterrent if someone really likes you, now if they don't like you...
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Old 03-29-2011, 05:03 PM
 
Location: NH
122 posts, read 278,608 times
Reputation: 115
He' not intimidated. If I was him and single that exactly how I'd react in his situation if I saw a girl I really liked. The problem probably is he doesn't know what your situation is. Whether you're in a relationship or not in a relationship. Some times it can be pretty embarrassing to approach a girl (especially in the work place) only to have have her reject you because she's taken. Maybe there is a subtle way you can communicate to him that you're available and like him.
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Old 03-29-2011, 07:52 PM
 
1,090 posts, read 1,833,881 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ittiz View Post
He' not intimidated. If I was him and single that exactly how I'd react in his situation if I saw a girl I really liked. The problem probably is he doesn't know what your situation is. Whether you're in a relationship or not in a relationship. Some times it can be pretty embarrassing to approach a girl (especially in the work place) only to have have her reject you because she's taken. Maybe there is a subtle way you can communicate to him that you're available and like him.
just write single on a piece of paper and hold it up next time he crosses you in the hall

double dog dare y a
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Old 03-30-2011, 05:55 PM
 
Location: Southern Illinois
10,364 posts, read 20,791,358 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by simpleharmonicmotion View Post
There's a guy at work I cannot stop thinking about. I do feel like I get some vibes from him, but I am not completely sure. At one point, he looked right at me and we definitely locked eyes for a split second longer than what is okay in polite society. He has also shown some other signs of seeming interested, but they are so subtle that I do not know if he just thinks I'm another cute girl walking around or if this is something I should take seriously.

He seems very reserved in general to everyone and I know he feels stressed already as he is an intern (I work at a hospital). But, he has said a few things to me here and there. To make things worse, I am new at this workplace and I can feel a little bit out of place at times so I can get a little bit aloof and reserved myself. I have been told that I can come off cold and hard to get to know. I really have not gone out of my way to say anything to him either honestly. These sideways glances and vibes have been going on since August- the first time I noticed him. The second time we saw each other he pretty much stared at me the whole time- I was completely unnerved by the shock of this guy staring at me to look back and on top of that-was too busy trying to focus as we were in the ER and there was a level 1 trauma going on in front of us needing to be taken care of.

Throughout all of these months I have seen him on and off, here and there. Sometimes weeks have gone by before I see him. I have backed off totally mostly because I feel like if he was interested he would have said something by now-sent me a work email or stopped me in the hallway or asked my coworker about me. I really try to make it seem like I am not interested because I feel like a fool being interested in a guy that doesn't reciprocate. My coworker tells me that maybe he is just intimidated. I say that most people, including guys, usually want to get what they want and aren't going to wait. Right now I am seeing him pretty regularly. I don't know what to think or say or do, if I should at at all. I still feel if he likes me more than just thinks I'm cute, he'll say something, right? Keep in mind that I also feel incredibly sheepish about this whole thing. I barely know who this guy is outside of how attracted I feel towards him and the fact that he is a resident at the hospital I work at. I am rarely this viscerally attracted to someone so this is a big deal to me.

So basically, what I am trying to ask if do men indeed become intimidated by women or is this something women tell themselves to lessen the pain of rejection?
Another thing has occurred to me as the likeliest explanation. I used to work at a large university hospital when I was younger and there were many med students and residents. It was kind of hard to get a date with a med student but harder to get one with a resident--these guys were just too busy and most of them never even got enough sleep. I dated quite a lot in those days but almost never these men that I worked with. Maybe he does like you but he just doesn't have the time and if you really really like him and are willing to wait you could befriend him but don't expect much yet.
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Old 04-24-2011, 05:41 PM
 
1 posts, read 4,529 times
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I'm going through the exact same thing. Boggles your mind. I think taking advice from a man is better because they think the same. I don't think it's intimidation; I think they're just not sure if it's worth the risk since you work together. Unfortunately, nobody has the answer except him and you definitely don't want to ask him. Keep being nice to everybody and if he doesn't ask you out, then someone else will. I'm trying to tell myself the same thing. Hope everything works out for you.
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Old 04-24-2011, 11:37 PM
 
4,837 posts, read 8,853,391 times
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Default It Depends

Some intimidate me but most just ignore me.
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Old 04-24-2011, 11:59 PM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,936,355 times
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How is it an irrational fear??? It sounds like a very rational fear to me. Nobody wants to be snubbed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Vanderburgh View Post
Yes. I have friends who were like this when we were younger. They'd get crushes but would never act on them because they just knew they'd get turned down. I don't know what percentage of the population is like that, though. But it is possible that he has an irrational fear of rejection that causes him to be intimidated, even paralyzed to the point of inaction.

Best of luck.
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