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Old 04-01-2011, 10:47 PM
 
176 posts, read 348,914 times
Reputation: 189

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I'm in my early 40s and I've realized in the last 2-3 years just how uninterested I am in single women around my age. There are always exceptions, but it's rare. I mostly find women around 5-10 years younger attractive, holding most other factors equal.

Recently I was put in kind of an awkward situation where a woman with whom I was socially acquainted put me on the spot. In many objective ways we were compatible but the chemistry just wasn't there on my part. To be clear, I never led her on.

The long and the short of it was that she dumped on me with an accusative tone about "age-ism" and about how hard it's been for her to get dates, almost pleading for some kind of sympathy or justification. It was hard for me to deny, but what can I do?

I don't think my feelings make me a bad person. I mean, if the mojo is not there, it's just not there. I cannot rationalize away my gut reactions.

Many women seems to put a lot of stock in youthful looks and even if they are accomplished in other ways, it seems a deep blow for them to lose them, to lose the attention of men that comes automatically and in abundance.

Few men are rarely so handsome as to attract women based on mostly looks (including myself!), so I think that women should understand that it's hard to be genuinely sympathetic. Intellectually I can see from where aging women are coming, but not at a visceral level.

 
Old 04-01-2011, 10:59 PM
 
37,426 posts, read 45,616,465 times
Reputation: 56749
Quote:
Originally Posted by df175 View Post
I mostly find women around 5-10 years younger attractive, holding most other factors equal.
I think that statement is rather difficult to swallow, frankly. Do you inquire as to the age of every woman you see?
 
Old 04-01-2011, 11:00 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,316,119 times
Reputation: 40194
Just a hunch...I'm betting women your age don't find you attractive either
 
Old 04-01-2011, 11:02 PM
 
Location: So Cal
51,848 posts, read 52,255,090 times
Reputation: 52309
There becomes a point when you read certain posts...........


 
Old 04-01-2011, 11:03 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,316,119 times
Reputation: 40194
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
There becomes a point when you read certain posts...........


Can we smell 'em a mile away or what?
 
Old 04-01-2011, 11:11 PM
 
343 posts, read 522,990 times
Reputation: 622
Looks are looks at any age right? You say you're not much of a looker yet your looking for a looker.

Do these younger women like you? Yes? Then go for it.
You do realize you have aged as well and not that attractive by your admission. So what do you want in a relationship and what do you offer? All that comes into play. Of course you should desire a potential partner but one issue I have are people who haven't properly accessed their own strengths & weakness before placing judgment. Reality in this case is a b**ch.
 
Old 04-01-2011, 11:14 PM
 
Location: Not Nowhere
1,321 posts, read 2,100,202 times
Reputation: 1764
Quote:
Originally Posted by df175 View Post
Few men are rarely so handsome as to attract women based on mostly looks
It's not all it's cracked up to be.

Anyway, I had a little tryst with a stunningly beautiful woman 9 years my senior a couple of months ago. So don't worry about the early 40s crowd. They're out there having a good time with or without you.
 
Old 04-01-2011, 11:16 PM
 
724 posts, read 1,679,348 times
Reputation: 723
Since junior high school, women have been interested in older males. In 6th grade, they wanted 7th graders. In high school, they wanted college guys. In college, they wanted grad students or professional men. At each step of the ladder, men were taught that older men had the upper hand on them for women their own age. So, men have been conditioned to pursue younger women since they started striking out in droves at puberty. But, once the older men become too old, then suddenly men are expected to reverse decades of social conditioning by women? That seems a bit ridiculous to me.

To the OP: You are not at fault for anything. The guilt trip was BS. Have fun with the thirty-somethings.
 
Old 04-01-2011, 11:25 PM
 
Location: great airports of the US
67 posts, read 121,298 times
Reputation: 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Just a hunch...I'm betting women your age don't find you attractive either
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
There becomes a point when you read certain posts...........


Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Can we smell 'em a mile away or what?
lol, the CD Intelligence Agency is on it...
 
Old 04-01-2011, 11:28 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,316,119 times
Reputation: 40194
Quote:
Originally Posted by aquene View Post
lol, the CD Intelligence Agency is on it...

LOL, just see my "status" under my name
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