Do guys mean what they say when angry? (wife, long distance, women)
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Hey guys,
Need some advice. Have been seeing an old high school friend for about 8 months. Long distance relationship and we both have jobs that make it difficult to see each other. Two weeks ago I had asked me if we could get together that weekend. No reply. I finally sent him a text just saying it was a bit rude that he could not respond as it was Friday and we were supposed to get together on Saturday and I've been waiting around. He sends back saying he's sorry and that he has actually been in MY STATE visiting his family the whole week! Needless to say, I was not happy and did let him know it.
Then a week later I found out I had to be in his city for a business trip. I sent him a text telling him I would be there and would he like for me to perhaps stay the weekend and we could get together. No response from him for 10 days! Now he travels as an air marshal internationally so I always try to give him the benefit of the doubt but this time I decided that no response meant no and I made arrangements with business clients for dinner and drinks, etc. I got a text from him on Wednesday asking if I was in town yet and I said I would be there tomorrow. Nothing from him about seeing me and I did not ask. So Thursday rolls around and he sends me a text at 6pm asking what hotel I'm at and what my room number is. I tell him that I can't see him because I have plans. I hear nothing else from him until 11pm when I'm back from dinner and drinks and am exhausted and a bit tipsy. He wants to come to my room and I tell him no. The next morning I feel bad and text him apologizing and asking if he wants to get together that night. I tell him I will rearrange my schedule but he tells me he only has an hour that morning open and take it or leave it. I leave it. He then gets extremely upset with me and says I am playing games and women always have to have control. I try to explain to him that I could not just sit around and wait for him when he never got in touch but it does no good. So I drive home all the while receiving angry texts from him. I try to apologize again but he would have none of it so I finally told him that if he wanted me to go away and move on I would do so but I thought it was a bit stupid for us to be having this fight. He tells me I'm playing a game with him and I had lied to him about coming to town, etc. Almost paranoid sounding to be honest.
Anyway, I let it go and sent him a text this morning asking if he was still angry and he says yes. I ask him if we can talk about it on the phone and he says no. I tell him I will give him a few days and we can talk then and he responds with a text that says: Delete my info from your phone. There is no cooling off..I am done. History.
Now after all this my question to you men is this: Are these words just in anger or should I do as he says?
He is an extremely sensitive man and had games played on him by his wife so very suspicious still of women. I feel I have done all I can do to remedy it. I have apologized even though I don't think it was wrong of me to assume he would not be in town. I gave him a day to cool off and he's still angry. Should I give it a few days and try to get in touch again or should I just leave him alone and move on like he says? I have no problem moving on but once I do he will be history. I'm not big on do overs once I've been told to leave.
And why do you want this relationship so bad? Sounds like he's not committed at all and doesn't want to be. Why ran after someone that isn't really interested in you? If he was interested, he would have told you he was coming to your town to get together.
Doesn't matter if he's angry or not, I'd delete his info from my phone and move on. Who wants someone that is sensitive because of his wife? That's just an excuse and even if it's not, do you really want to be with someone that you have to watch what you say and do because he's sensitive? I wouldn't want to walk around on eggshells.
And why do you want this relationship so bad? Sounds like he's not committed at all and doesn't want to be. Why ran after someone that isn't really interested in you? If he was interested, he would have told you he was coming to your town to get together.
Doesn't matter if he's angry or not, I'd delete his info from my phone and move on. Who wants someone that is sensitive because of his wife? That's just an excuse and even if it's not, do you really want to be with someone that you have to watch what you say and do because he's sensitive? I wouldn't want to walk around on eggshells.
He'a an air marshall. It's a tough job and is mentally draining to mindlessly fly all the time to protect passengers.
Men in public service feel insane most of the time, except the fat cops sitting in donut cafes, who have the most spare time LMAO
So, you women need to be not so hard on hard working men, as long as they don't cheat and abuse the women.
Thank you...I have a hard time explaining his mindset to people. He flies 5-6 days a week and it is a stressful job and a dangerous one. Every time he gets on a plane, it could be his last flight, which is true of most people who fly but when you fly as much as he does, the odds are greater. Plus, he has 2 children at home full time that he is also trying to take care of.
I'm not defending him or making excuses just stating what kind of man he is. I don't walk on eggshells with him and I tell him straight up how I feel and what I think. This is our first fight and I am not running after him. My position is that if he wants me to leave then I will but unfortunately for me when I leave, I leave and don't come back. This has been a good relationship so far and we complement each other well. I would just hate to walk away because he told me to in anger only to have him come back to me when he's cooled off and I've shut my feelings down.
Give him some time to de-stress and get beyond the argument. Sounds like it was a rather hectic week for the both of you. Trying to make time to visit can be hard because he's trying to balance time with you, family and work. You are trying to balance time with him, clients, etc. via long distance. Not that it's an excuse for his behavior but it's life...for all of us at times.
You've put the ball in his court so if he doesn't call in a week or so, you've got your answer and can move on. However, don't put your life on hold waiting to hear back from him.
Thank you...I have a hard time explaining his mindset to people. He flies 5-6 days a week and it is a stressful job and a dangerous one. Every time he gets on a plane, it could be his last flight, which is true of most people who fly but when you fly as much as he does, the odds are greater. Plus, he has 2 children at home full time that he is also trying to take care of.
I'm not defending him or making excuses just stating what kind of man he is. I don't walk on eggshells with him and I tell him straight up how I feel and what I think. This is our first fight and I am not running after him. My position is that if he wants me to leave then I will but unfortunately for me when I leave, I leave and don't come back. This has been a good relationship so far and we complement each other well. I would just hate to walk away because he told me to in anger only to have him come back to me when he's cooled off and I've shut my feelings down.
I always take what someone says to me, whether in anger or not, seriously and as if they meant every word, until I hear or see something to convince me otherwise.
That's not to say that when someone gets overly emotional, they won't sometimes say things they may regret. However, the onus to set the record straight is on them.
I think that if you want a part-time/some-time relationship...no commitments....then this is the one for you.
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