Absentee Father wants to talk (love, too young, family, child support)
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So I have a loose to non-existent relationship with my father. No heart wrenching story it is just what it is.
Recently, past couple of years, he has been trying to reach out to me (uhm yeah I'm 28 he's a little late but I digress). My mother is of the mind that I should talk to him and see my fathers side of the family more often.
Here's the thing. I don't hold much to any animosity towards him... or his family (I do consider my father's side my family as well but just for posting sake I'll say his family). It's just that I had an entire childhood and adolescence and young adulthood without them and I'm like past the point of getting to know them. If I see them I will definitely say hello and shoot the breeze for a bit but I barely have enough time for the people I really care for and want to be around... why add people I don't particular want to be around to the mix? And I've been around them enough throughout the years to know that the majority of his people are pretty swell but... I just don't feel that urge.
Any similar situations?
PS... for some reason my mother is really making a case for him, saying that he looks really sad and really wants to see me. Meanwhile he was a deadbeat who I don't believe ever caught up with all his back child support
Anywho I do feel kind of sorry for him, IF my mother isn't just embellishing his "sincerity"
Why not sit him down and have a face to face talk? Let him know how you feel. It sounds like you need to get these emotions and feelings out, before you can possibly move forward, to start over. Good luck
So I have a loose to non-existent relationship with my father. No heart wrenching story it is just what it is.
Recently, past couple of years, he has been trying to reach out to me (uhm yeah I'm 28 he's a little late but I digress). My mother is of the mind that I should talk to him and see my fathers side of the family more often.
Here's the thing. I don't hold much to any animosity towards him... or his family (I do consider my father's side my family as well but just for posting sake I'll say his family). It's just that I had an entire childhood and adolescence and young adulthood without them and I'm like past the point of getting to know them. If I see them I will definitely say hello and shoot the breeze for a bit but I barely have enough time for the people I really care for and want to be around... why add people I don't particular want to be around to the mix? And I've been around them enough throughout the years to know that the majority of his people are pretty swell but... I just don't feel that urge.
Any similar situations?
PS... for some reason my mother is really making a case for him, saying that he looks really sad and really wants to see me. Meanwhile he was a deadbeat who I don't believe ever caught up with all his back child support
Anywho I do feel kind of sorry for him, IF my mother isn't just embellishing his "sincerity"
I sincerely hope you listen to your mom on this and just give your dad a chance. She has your best interests at heart and likely realizes like I do that you may still be too young to appreciate how you will feel later down the line when he's gone if you didn't at least make a little effort with him now.
Try hard to be the bigger person and find a way to forgive him. Doing so is good for soul growth, trust me on this.
I think you should give him a chance, you may be surprised. If after talking with him you still don't want to have a relationship with him, then that is your choice.
Talk to him, what have you got to lose? Once he's dead and in the ground you'll never have the opportunity again. Doesn't mean you have to allow him into your close circle of loved ones, you can always put him back on your ignore list if your meeting with him leaves you uninspired.
Your mother's interst in this matter is extremely odd.
Mom's interest does not seem odd to me. She probably just wishes her children had a normal relationship with their father. She probably has at least some regrets for the past. Moms tend to feel they should be able to fix everything in their children's live.
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