41 year old virgin and ruined a possible relationship (attractiveness, personality, attraction)
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Don't know if OP is around, but I am patting you on the back.. 5th date and she already is tryign to engage you for sex??? A woman like this won't stick around long. Looks like she was trying to claim your virginity for bragging rights or just has not much respect for you. If she is truly a woman you love, you would make love to each other and feel comfortable with each other. She invaded you and, of course, all the feminists and man-haters will hit you over the head. Just imagine if it was a man doing this to a woman? I bet everyone would be condemning the man to oblivion.
Sounds, like you need to be a bit stronger though and assert yourself. Never let a woman have power over you as it is usually bad women who try to push sex on a man. Yeah, it may sound sexist, but culturally good girls let the man engage and take it from there. You should find a woman you enjoy being with and who won't care if you turn her down for sex.
Stop beating yourself up and don't mind the haters here who like to denigrate you.
ehhh its actually pretty abnormal to not have sex by the 5th date.
ehhh its actually pretty abnormal to not have sex by the 5th date.
Perhaps in America.. However, many people still believe in the virtue of sex after marriage. Even in the USA, there are people who still uphold this belief. Sex by date #5?? Well, it seems sex is cheap in this country. In the 1950s, I hardly doubt people were screwing by the 5th date. They also didn't have the giant divorce rate we have. People should learn to appreciate each other for a longer period of time before they jump into bed.
Perhaps in America.. However, many people still believe in the virtue of sex after marriage. Even in the USA, there are people who still uphold this belief. Sex by date #5?? Well, it seems sex is cheap in this country. In the 1950s, I hardly doubt people were screwing by the 5th date. They also didn't have the giant divorce rate we have. People should learn to appreciate each other for a longer period of time before they jump into bed.
Sex is relatively cheap in this country. I view that as a good thing. I don't think that I have ever gone more than 5 dates without sex. I am not saying that I would not, but I would be concerned that the woman is not attracted to me if we have not had sex by date 5.
But sex and when it occurs has little or nothing to do with the divorce rate. Back in the 1950 divorce was difficult and costly. Fault had to be proven and divorces were antagonistic in court. Many people simply moved into separate bedrooms.
Divorce laws liberalized after this time period, making divorce much more accessible. As a result, the divorce rate increased.
That had nothing to do with when/how people have sex.
Blah, I hear stories about how my grandparents had a horrible and violent relationship, and I'm sure they were not the only ones back then - but I never understood sounding the "virtuous, times were just better then" response. Yep, my grandmother put up with abuse of herself and children....but atleast she was married (sarcasm, of course)!
Thank god times have changed and more people are now comfortable with leaving a horrendous marriage (my mother being one).
You shouldn't have let yourself get to so old and still remain a virgin. Now you're very awkward. I would try again though, she might accept the situation.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bxlefty23
lol@ waiting 5 dates to have sex
I waited six weeks with the man I eventually married. He obviously stuck around for it. And we had far more than five dates first. We saw each other three to four times a week for that six weeks. Even went to a weekend party out of town together and still didn't have sex. It doesn't have to lead to sex so fast. There are lots of things to do and ways to get to know each other. Find out if you'd even want have sex first by spending time together. If they can't handle not having sex right off the bat, you have your answer and they saved you a lot of trouble.
You shouldn't have let yourself get to so old and still remain a virgin. Now you're very awkward. I would try again though, she might accept the situation.
The past is the past. I hate when people say you should've done this or that as if you can go back and change it.
Note: I wrote a very long response yesterday, but I decided not to post it. Instead, now, I post that video. All of girlwriteswhat videos are quite insightful.
The past is the past. I hate when people say you should've done this or that as if you can go back and change it.
Exactly. I agree with this but far as the OP, just cut your losses and forget it. What you're looking for is a needle in a haystack... Accept what is because far too many people are going to hold this over your head. It's unfortunate but hey, that's life.
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