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I personally do not like cheap men. I am very successfully financially and tend to date men that are as well. And most men pay. And I do not sleep with any of them
He came right out and said it but in question form. It was like "You're going to get it this time?" and I was like "sure"
I feel bad for not offering to pay sooner, but it really never occurred to me to do so. Now I feel kinda awkward about future dates. Should I always offer to pay for them now?
Thats kind of sticky...I have never been in this situation..Only one time did this somewhat similiar situation came about..
I had been dating this guy ( Later married him and is now my ex) for 5 months and he always paid and one weekend I asked him what we were going to do? He stated.."Would love to take you out but I am strapped for cash what if we wait till next weekend to do something" I said nonsense I will pay after all it was 5 months in and he had always paid..
So He stated his financial situation ahead of time and did NOT ASK ME TO PAY period...he would have rather waited until he had money.
While he has paid for dates for the past month the delivery of him asking you outright would have been awkward for me...I haveto be honest
I cannot believe the attitude of some women in this country!
While I think it is nice (not vital, but definitely good form) for the man to pick up the check on a first date, to go out for a MONTH and not once offer to contribute anything is just wrong IMHO.
I had a friend who used to do this and guess what, non of her relationships worked out.
I kept telling her that she could still let the guy take the lead, but at the very LEAST she could get the drinks at the bar if he paid for dinner, or get popcorn and a drink if he buys the cinema tickets.
No man wants to feel like an open wallet with a woman who just assumes he will always pay.
I think BOTH sides here are in the wrong, but more so the OP.
If I was a guy and by date 3 the woman hadn't offered to buy me as much as a drink after I had laid out 3 dinners, I would write her off as a freeloading, presumptuous and frankly rude cheepskate.
Yes.
I think back in the day when women didn't work in a job as much and didn't have their own income, I could understand a man paying for dates.
But this is 2011, women are working or on welfare or daddy is gifting them. They've got money so it's only fair that they contribute.
I don't waste time on women anymore that don't at least make an effort to contribute somehow. It might be I buy dinner, they buy movie tickets. But I'm not going to be constantly taking out a working woman on my own dime week after week, picking up the tab for all their fun.
Personally I found once I stopped spending money on women, my frequency of getting it increased.
When we first started dating, during the first few dates, I always offered to pay, he refused. So for future dates, I didn't bother offering anymore because I assumed that he was going to refuse and I didn't feel like going back and forth with him over the bill.
I feel like I should have paid, but I never made that offer again after those dates, I assumed he was just going to keep refusing. So when he asked me if I could cover the next time, it came as a bit of a surprise to me.
I don't see why you have that expectation that he will continue to pay for eternity.
Surely, there are women who will date men for their wallets. Dating a man who prefers to pay is not necessarily the same thing; the benefits go beyond the financial to character. There are people here who outright resent it and don't know the difference.
I think you'd like to think that, but that's not what we think out there. I go by peoples actions and women that just expect to be wined and dined on our dime week after week are freeloaders.
You can slice it any way you want, but that's what it is. Freeloading.
You seem to be unaware of why it's a tradition that men pay. In the olden days, women rarely had jobs and they rarely had money and if they did they didn't have alot. Men payed because it's was simply the most logical choice, women couldn't afford to pay.
If you can pay for your own, and STILL expect that men pay every time... well it has kinda lost it's purpose hasn't it? You don't expect the man to pay because he has more money than you. You expect him to pay because you feel that men has to pay to see women, and that IS entitlement.
I have no problem paying, but it speaks ALOT about the woman if she never even offers to pay. Relationships should be two way streets, giving and taking... Women who thinks the man should pay every time obviously don't view relationships like that, if it's gonna be a one way street in this aspect it's gonna be a one way street in ever single aspect of the relationship with women like that.
I have no problem paying at all. A lot of the entitlement minded women have to understand they'll actually get more when they have a sense of fair play with their relationships rather than just expecting payment, whatever form that payment might be.
To me women with those expectations are working girls. They don't take American Express, but instead fine wines, dinner and concert tickets. They are essentially renting their time out and it's just a business transaction. Spineless men get a dinner date and don't have to eat alone and these women get to shovel their faces with pricey liquors and fine dining.
It's sad that your self image is so low that if a woman accepts your invitation to have dinner with you, you are convinced it's a "business transaction" that she agrees to only because she wants to "shovel her face with pricey liquors and fine dining".
I haven't read any of the answers, but here's my take.
On the first date, I would expect the guy to pay if he asked me out. Maybe the second date too.
After that, things need to even out. Even if he pays for most things, you need to reciprocate by cooking dinner for him or something.
I would not have allowed a month to go by with him paying for everything. So either alternate paying or find a way to reciprocate.
Not sure if he finally asked you to pay out of exasperation or if he just doesn't have smooth social graces,
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