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most of the time i did pay for the dinner and the date when we where out and then about two months of dateing she goes put away your wallet tonight it my treat for the night or she goes i have order the pizza and you go and get the movie at block buster tonight for us to watch ..
I always offer to pay after the guy has paid for the previous date. With my ex, I believe we were alternating paying since the second date. I feel weird just sitting there when the bill comes if he's paid for the last date. I know some guys wouldn't mind, but I just feel weird. Maybe I offer to pay too early on and it takes away from some of the chivalry/romance, but I guess I'm paranoid about having anyone think that I'm just using them for free entertainment or that I expect them to always pay because they're men.
I know you said you don't mind paying, but picnics and going for a walk during a sunset is actually pretty romantic. It's less expensive, and it sets up a great atmosphere for the rest of the evening.
Yeah, buy some bologne and bread and take it to the picnic. Get some salad dressing from the next establishment you go to in case he wants to fix his own sandwich with some, for the next date.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom
Sounds like a couple of posters here on CD, in fact.
I was thinking she hooked up with someone from here when she said he gave her the news he thought she was freeloading.
Quote:
Originally Posted by boodhabunny
He is working, she's a student. They are not yet an established couple. He invited himself on a date at her expense. That was what the OP felt was "off" and rightly so. I feel that she responded graciously to the awkward predicament he put her in.
If he is serious about winning her heart, I think he botched it badly.
I personally do not like cheap men. I am very successfully financially and tend to date men that are as well. And most men pay. And I do not sleep with any of them
I cannot believe the attitude of some women in this country!
While I think it is nice (not vital, but definitely good form) for the man to pick up the check on a first date, to go out for a MONTH and not once offer to contribute anything is just wrong IMHO.
I had a friend who used to do this and guess what, non of her relationships worked out.
I kept telling her that she could still let the guy take the lead, but at the very LEAST she could get the drinks at the bar if he paid for dinner, or get popcorn and a drink if he buys the cinema tickets.
No man wants to feel like an open wallet with a woman who just assumes he will always pay.
I think BOTH sides here are in the wrong, but more so the OP.
If I was a guy and by date 3 the woman hadn't offered to buy me as much as a drink after I had laid out 3 dinners, I would write her off as a freeloading, presumptuous and frankly rude cheepskate.
Okay here is the other side . I knew a girl who attempted to pay after 3 dates and the guy told her to put her wallet away and he never asked her out again so she no longer does that now . she says she does not want to offend anyone . So there are still men out there who get offended at the very idea of a woman paying for a date . I think all this business is silly and since when did dating become a business ?
I cannot believe the attitude of some women in this country!
While I think it is nice (not vital, but definitely good form) for the man to pick up the check on a first date, to go out for a MONTH and not once offer to contribute anything is just wrong IMHO.
I had a friend who used to do this and guess what, non of her relationships worked out.
I kept telling her that she could still let the guy take the lead, but at the very LEAST she could get the drinks at the bar if he paid for dinner, or get popcorn and a drink if he buys the cinema tickets.
No man wants to feel like an open wallet with a woman who just assumes he will always pay.
I think BOTH sides here are in the wrong, but more so the OP.
If I was a guy and by date 3 the woman hadn't offered to buy me as much as a drink after I had laid out 3 dinners, I would write her off as a freeloading, presumptuous and frankly rude cheepskate.
There were other agreeing posts but had to rep this one. Maybe he didn't have the most tactful approach, hell, maybe he didn't know how to ask the girl to pay since, as evidenced by most of these posts, it's taboo. From that perspective it should be very understandable Certainly doesn't raise any red flags, especially when he's already demonstrated that he's willing to give and pay for dates.
I have personally had stints with women where I felt like I was a meal card and it got old real fast. While I'm mostly very willing to pay especially during the first few dates at least, I do find that there is a lot of sexism and entitlement involved in "chivalry". It can get very tiring, moreso when the attitude becomes "if he wants to see me, he'll pay." That sounds like a comment from someone who would be more interested in the trappings of dating rather than the person they're dating.
I can't believe some of the gold digger comments of women on here lol Glad I married a sensible woman lol
After a month the OP should have at least been offering something, even if it was a meal cooked at home so she didn't have to lay out more money than necessary. Then to come on here and complain about it seems sort of "in it for the money" and who wants to date someone like that?
If you want to be treated equally, you have to act as an equal. Not like some hot house orchid who only deigns to grace the men with your splendiferous presence if he forks over dough. Ick. Just ick.
I only represent myself honey not womanhood. If you want to pay for man go ahead.
The op thinks it's fair to pay but hasn't made an effort. Why would something be 'off' about it if she fundamentally agrees? And all of a sudden, she's worried about the price? Did she do that before she knew she might have to chip in? The op should stop saying she's ok with paying when clearly she isn't and is supported by CarolVa1977's viewpoint that a man who doesn't pay isn't worth seeing.
They are not worth seeing me at least. If other women enjoy paying for dates, well that is their choice.
But again in my world, something as petty as that is not concievable
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