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I guess we can agree then. We are not yet to the point of saying that women ask men out, take the initiative, pay for men, etc. as much and as often as men do but, yes, change is being seen little by little but it can be seen.
One of life's greatest pleasures is being in the company of a beautiful woman and it was my pleasure to always pick up the tab. I didn't mind one bit and would never insist that she do so. It is however the classy woman who occasionally offers to go dutch or treat me. Such women were taken far more seriously than those who never offered. My wife did this when we were dating, occasionally offering to treat me and frequently offering to go dutch. Been married 22 years.
I find it a bit tacky that he would insist on your paying. But shame on you for never even offering to go dutch at least.
its not like hes getting you a ring and asking you to pay for it. Its a date for petes sake. you're with him and getting as much as you give. Is he getting 'any'? Or are you freeloading on a 'friend'.
I don't mind paying for the date or for share, I'm all for it, but I've never been in this situation where the guy asked me straight out before the date to pay for it. I'm not sure how to react to this.
We've been dating for a month now, he paid for all the past dates.
Of course I said I'd be more than happy to, but still. I'm having mixed feelings about this.
What would your reaction be?
My reaction would likely be okay with it, depending on how he presented it. But chances it wouldn't have led to that, because I have never been comfortable letting the guy pay all the time.
What I'm reading into your situation is that the guy was hoping you'd pitch in occasionally, or maybe suggest going Dutch once in awhile. I think you should discuss this with him, because I know that dates are not cheap when they add up, and he's probably watching his pocketbook just like many people are.
Heres my thought on it in the dating world. If a woman has the choice between two "equivalent men", one who will wine her and dine her vs. a guy that will take her to Applebees, then leave a dollar tip on a $50 tab, she deserves who she ends up one. If the woman chooses broke Charley and ends up living in a Trailer then she deserves what she gets. Some of these men and woman use the " I wouldn't Marry for Love" stuff just to appease theirselves and their poor choices. I feel grouped into the same group as their exes if I ask them out and I'm fairly well to do. it also reflects on their ability to make good choices!
I think you handled it well, but if you go out again you can have a discussion of how you're going to handle the bill. If you offer to pay now, then you will be paying forever!
If you're young and in college I understand that for sure, going dutch seems to be appropriate for your age I think. If he does pick up the check, make sure and let him know that you really appreciate it!
Wow, dating these days seems so complicated. On my first date with my hubby, I reached for my wallet and he told me dinner was on him. I offered to leave the tip and he said no. He pretty much always paid in the beginning but I always reached for my wallet or offered to leave the tip. There were a few times where we really couldn't spend too much but I was set on seeing a movie or something so I would tell him it was my treat. He wasn't ok with that in the beginning but finally accepted. He's old fashioned and that's fine but I was always willing to kick in or treat. I guess some guys just don't understand subtlety. It's one thing to mutually agree on sharing tabs but when a guy "demands" or insinuates? That's kind of a turn off for me.
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