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Old 05-17-2011, 07:38 PM
Location: The Conterminous United States
22,583 posts, read 51,016,070 times
Reputation: 13556


Originally Posted by marmom View Post
Your situation with both your husband and his mother, as well as your own family sounds rotten. When you say your husband and his mother are not how they used to be, is that for better or worse?

You are very kind to keep tabs on your narcissistic mother. It's more than I do with my mother, and I am her only child too.
When we moved away my husband grew up a lot. And I think my MIL realized that my husband liked to push her buttons. She treats me with the utmost respect now.

Clearly, my situation and yours are very, very different.

My husband has one sibling, an older sister, and I sometimes think that in the beginning he treated me a lot like a sister, vying for his mother's attention. He had absolutely no idea how to behave as a husband. Once we moved away and he was able to observe other men he really, really changed.

He had to. I was going to take our daughter and leave.

My dad was extremely abusive and my parents are now divorced. I still treated him well until a few years ago when I was finally able to break it off with him.

But I do pity my mother. She's pushed everyone away her entire life. I have a cousin that will take her to places that she can't drive to, but other than that she has no one. Now that senility - or whatever it is - has set in, she really can't harm me. I'm now in contact with all of her doctors regarding her care. At some point I will have to deal with her in a closer situation. I don't relish the thought but I've already set up boundaries that she knows she can no longer cross.

She really didn't want me to get involved in her healthcare but I gave her no choice. I just went ahead and did it. For the first time in her life she's had to allow someone else into her life to help her. It can't be easy for her.
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