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And since no one else mentioned it...I would not sleep with him again until I felt loved, honored and respected. He took a special moment and ruined it so he could make himself feel "big" at your expense.
And since no one else mentioned it...I would not sleep with him again until I felt loved, honored and respected. He took a special moment and ruined it so he could make himself feel "big" at your expense.
No woman wants to have to "compete" or "be compared too" someone from the past. Swapping life stories and things that has happened in the past is one thing, but to throw it up in your face, to make a comparison is just wrong, and very childish.
If I were you, I would keep my eyes open and *head up.* Good luck!
Sorry, but that is my honest deduction from what I read.
I dated a guy like this once. I let him go on an on about his exes and all the super sexy women who pursued him all day every day for 2 months. I thought he was going to get tired when it didn't get a reaction out of me. He didn't stop, so I moved on. I had better looking exes than him, and men who were better than he was hitting on me all the time but I never felt insecure enough to have to mention those things to him.
Your BF is trying to make you feel as insecure as he is, and it seems he's succeeding since you're having self-doubts comparing yourself to a bikini model. Guess what, I bet she's as dumb as a doorknob. You should let him go back to one of his super sexy exes and find a real man.
I've been dating this guy for about 2 months now, and I was always under the impression that, unlike other guys I've met before, he's a mature and responsible person. In the beginning I felt like we were totally compatible, since we have similar interests (nature, arts etc) , have similar attitudes towards life, and are both willing to settle down and have a family one day.
We had always had a great time together until last Friday (for the first time we had sex the night before). He acted like he had changed to a different person all of a sudden, by talking about his ex girlfriends all the time from the morning until the evening without me even asking about them.
He talked about a girlfriend who was a bikini model, a girl who was a party animal, and a girl that he was dating last year (a 18 yr old) when he was 29. I wasn't comfortable with his statements at all because I started to question whether he's attracted to me (since I'm the complete opposite of those girls). We had a pretty heavy discussion about this. He at first said he would no longer feel comfortable talking about stuff with me because now he would have to filter through the information very carefully, then the next day he apologized and said it was very insensitive of him telling me about his ex girlfriends, and assured me that I mean a lot to him. He said he used to date girls who are totally different from him, and I'm the first girl who shares a lot in common with him.
I tried to think about this relationship in a positive way after that discussion. But today, he told me he went out with his guy friends to a sports bar, where a waitress was trying to get him to drink the shots off her body. He said he didn't want to do it, and brought me up saying he has a girlfriend and he doesn't lie to me.
I'm just very confused why he wanted to talk about his sports bar experience with me in the first place. I appreciate his honesty, but I certainly didn't feel comfortable hearing all that. I used to think he's the type of person who is very well behaved and not into that scene, but now I start to wonder if he enjoys going to places like Hooters or even strip clubs...
Making random assumptions of him certainly won't help, but since we just had a serious discussion about convos involving his ex gfs, I don't know if I should have another conversation with him about his "hobby" of going to sports bars (or strip clubs...)
Should I talk about this with him at all?
Sounds to me like he's trying to make you jealous for whatever reason. I would have talked to him and found out why he had the need to tell me about his ex's and the sports bar. He could want an honest relationship with you and telling you everything or again, it could be that he's immature and trying to make you jealous. Either way, you two need to go out in nature, sit down, have a picnic and seriously talk.
lol. He brought up the bikini girl because he was making a point that a girl who wanted to date him backed out when she heard that he used to date a bikini model. He said he stopped seeing that girl because she was clearly "insecure" about his past, and that he doesn't like insecure girls.
Then when I had the discussion with him, he said he now gets a feeling that I'm insecure about his exes. I told him I'm not insecure as to those girls might be prettier or younger than me, I started to feel insecure because I start to think he is only attracted to wild girls rather than girls like me.
It sounds like he's going out of his way to try to make girls feel insecure after having sex with them. Don't let him do that. Confidence is attractive to everyone (not cockiness, but just showing love and respect to yourself). Do not let yourself be bothered by it. Next time he brings up how hot a bikini model is, vigorously agree that you love swimsuit models and love seeing the sun glint on a man's bare, muscular chest, yadda yadda.
And I'd be weary of sleeping with him again any time soon; this guy sounds very insecure if he needs to brag about his girlfriends and claim he stops seeing people over insecurities and then accuses you of being insecure. Sounds like a set-up to me.
And also, I do agree that he was probably dropping some hints about having more risque sex. But who cares about that after all this insecurity nonsense?
He was engaged once 3 years ago and was cheated on, so I'm not sure whether that is still affecting him...
That may be key. There's really not a whole lot of evidence on leaving him or not. He could just be insecure because of the former girlfriend. I would compare him to former boyfriends since you have to go off of your instincts not someone online. Personally, I won't put up with insecure people for very long. If you went to bed with the guy and he changes that drastically, ask the right questions and if you don't feel comfortable with the answer punt. Hell, it was only 2 months.
Sorry, but that is my honest deduction from what I read.
I dated a guy like this once. I let him go on an on about his exes and all the super sexy women who pursued him all day every day for 2 months. I thought he was going to get tired when it didn't get a reaction out of me. He didn't stop, so I moved on. I had better looking exes than him, and men who were better than he was hitting on me all the time but I never felt insecure enough to have to mention those things to him.
Your BF is trying to make you feel as insecure as he is, and it seems he's succeeding since you're having self-doubts comparing yourself to a bikini model. Guess what, I bet she's as dumb as a doorknob. You should let him go back to one of his super sexy exes and find a real man.
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good point
