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Old 04-28-2011, 07:50 PM
 
Location: Portlandia "burbs"
10,229 posts, read 16,267,652 times
Reputation: 26005

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Quote:
Originally Posted by stevechang103 View Post

The jist is that by fate, we have gotten back together again for about a year and a half and I am considering making a very long term commitment.

I marry her, live my structured work lifestyle financially supporting her and enjoy admiring her, while with my financial support, she is able to continue her lifestyle? While I am not a multimillionaire, I make a pretty good upper middle class living.

Any opinions would be appreciated.

Thanks
You did not mention why you broke up, and that could be important.

Opposites can enjoy a marvelous relationship as long as the differences compliment each other and do no harm. Also, it requires a good ability to compromise with give 'n' take. AND. . . important! . . . that what you DO share in common includes ways to have enjoyment, whether it's traveling, cooking, tennis, whatever. With those few but important traits, your differences make your relationship stable.

Much luck and love!
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Old 05-01-2011, 08:09 PM
 
117 posts, read 343,644 times
Reputation: 116
"
Long term, I would fear you would ask her to "grow up"...

Luckily my husband and I are not the same, but are similar! We have similar outlooks on life, similar attitudes on living. Our differences balance each other out.

Do you wish to be more like her?? You may end up meeting in the middle down the road and make a great couple!!
People change in that respect! If you are willing, and don't think that the way you do something is the only right way, then it would work.
""


Well, I do not wish to be like her and I do not want her to change. Why is that? I once tried to follow in her footsteps around the time I first met her.

However, the problem was that I was not an unstructured, react
fast in the present, socially adroit, spontaneous dynamo. Although, I at that time took on her mentality and rebelled against
school/work, the reality is that I enjoy and thrives in the
structured worlds of work/business or school. I also was not really the type to move things along and build and launch his own projects via social
skills or be a socialable person that spontaneously moves throughout a
neighborhood building up a campaign or even having the odd skillof knowing a buyer and seller that happen to have a property and need for a property (her networking skills actually did make her some money in real estate on a few deals, but she decided that she did not want to be a real estate careerist

I am also more of a slow and
deliberate person to talk about a topic at length then to be quick on
my feet at a dinner with a whole new topic showing multifacetness.
Living an her lifestyle requires a certain type of “social skills” to
accomplish. For example, to move suddenly to a new city and
spontaneously develop new contacts, in the flow, and then based on
strength of your dynamism get a new job ( she did go through periods of full time work at times) and roommates. Iam more of the
type to build a few very long term relationships within a specific
place over a time period.

Additionally, with long blocks of unstructured time (with one big
exception, where I had a successful entreperenrial project) I simply with no deadlines and directions floundered and atrophied. I am more of
the type to follow on a given plan then to naturally with the flow meet
others and create goals. and with the flow inspire others to do
things. However,I am not the type to
spontaneously create in the unstructured wide world his own goals and
gather people with dynamism to accomplish them.

The thing is that I was attracted to and admiredher and her way
of being and living and mistakenly thought that I wanted to be and
should be like her. However, I still am heavily attracted to her.

The jist of the matter is that our ways of living are each best for us. She should live a free life, thinking out of the box, be her own boss, and inspire change with dynamism. I should remain who I am.

why did we once split up? For various reasons,she needed to be in Australia for an extended amount of time and I needed to stay here and we just lost touch. However, fate brought her back the US for sometime. At the same time, my years of work experience have helped me qualify for an Aussie work visa ( she is not sure whether she will stay here or there0 .Additionally,I have a very very rich entrepreneur friend in silicon valley who is willing to hire me to work remotely on a long term assignment as one of his analysts. So my work will be portable so to be speak.

If she and I formally marry, then there will of course be another visa obtained in Australia.


I do think that she and I would make a very good team in marriage and even on business projects.

Thanks for all your suggestions.
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