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No it isn't. Once you start taking classes it will fall apart anyway
Mine didn't. My husband and I met when I was just graduating high school and we lived in different countries. Obviously, we're now married. Not saying the same will happen for the OP, just saying you equally can't predict that it won't work either. It depends on the individuals involved and whether they think their partner is worth the long distance or not. That's not something you can decide for the OP.
Westerner, if you think this girl is worth it, if you think she could be "the one" and if she feels the same about you, GO FOR IT. But you have to be 100% committed to making it work and if either of you aren't, then end it now before it gets harder.
Mine didn't. My husband and I met when I was just graduating high school and we lived in different countries. Obviously, we're now married. Not saying the same will happen for the OP, just saying you equally can't predict that it won't work either. It depends on the individuals involved and whether they think their partner is worth the long distance or not. That's not something you can decide for the OP.
Westerner, if you think this girl is worth it, if you think she could be "the one" and if she feels the same about you, GO FOR IT. But you have to be 100% committed to making it work and if either of you aren't, then end it now before it gets harder.
So many people point to the exception and offers it as advice. Well it is bad advice. (It's no different than pointing out the 100 year old chain smoker as evidence you should buy a pack of butts, or the one man who left his wife for his mistress is evidence it's a good idea to date a married man.) The percentage chance of it working out is very very low.
My advice, to keep seeing each other if they want from a distance, without the pressures of exclusivity, is good advice. If they are still together at the end of university, fine. If they aren't, still fine because they have already relieved themselves of pressure.
First day of college, you are going to meet seven new girls and you won't even be able to remember your current g/f's name: 1) The girl that sits next to you in your first lecture class and asks to make sure she's in the right class; 2) The girl that sits next to you in your second lecture class and asks to make sure she's in the right class; 3) The girl that sits next to you in your third lecture class and asks to make sure she's in the right class; 4) The girl walking down the hall in your dorm crying because her boyfriend back home just broke up with her already and it's only been one day; 5) The student worker who checks you into the library; 6) You realize that you can bonk a hot professor as long as she's tenured and she won't get fired; 7) Your roommate's divorced mom doesn't want to leave because she can't leave her son alone.
See, seven new women in 24 hours...what girlfriend were you talking about again?
(Oh, yeah, and your girlfriend will have the same experiences, except four will be men and three will be women--it is college, right?)
I completely disagree with Onglet and Sonata. I am married to the boy I started dating in high school even though we went to different colleges and didn't see each other regularly for 4 years. My best friend is getting married to her HS sweetheart this year (who she started dating 9 years ago). 4 of my other close friends from HS also married their high school sweethearts after going to different colleges. I do not think this is rare...at all. When you love someone, everyone you encounter of the opposite sex is friend material not dating material. For a lot of people, having independence can wreck a relationship, but that's just because the relationship wasn't meant to last in the first place. If the OP truly has something special with his gf, it will work.
I completely disagree with Onglet and Sonata. I am married to the boy I started dating in high school even though we went to different colleges and didn't see each other regularly for 4 years. My best friend is getting married to her HS sweetheart this year (who she started dating 9 years ago). 4 of my other close friends from HS also married their high school sweethearts after going to different colleges. I do not think this is rare...at all. When you love someone, everyone you encounter of the opposite sex is friend material not dating material. For a lot of people, having independence can wreck a relationship, but that's just because the relationship wasn't meant to last in the first place. If the OP truly has something special with his gf, it will work.
I agree. It seems like everyone on here wants him to forget about his girlfriend and take the liberal, immature route once he hits college. People feel love at all different ages, some younger, some older. Teen relationships can and do work out.
I have an aunt and an uncle who'll be married 65 years this year (married in 1946.) They became bf/gf when they were 13 in the 1940s, my uncle moved away to the west when they were 16. But stayed in contact by writing letters to each other, were in this long term relationship for 2 years. Then one day, my uncle decided to surprise my aunt by visiting her unexpectedly, and he proposed to her right when they met again. They were both 18 when they married and had 4 children by age 26 (their first at 19) and finally 5 kids by 29.
They knew at 14 that they wanted to be together for the rest of their lives. And they have been.
My highschool sweetheart and I went to colleges very far apart from each other (Michigan and Arizona). We eventually started seeing other people when I was a junior and he was a sophomore. We ended up breaking up shortly after I graduated. However - it was still worth it to me. He's still one of my best friends - we have no hard feelings towards each other and actually are close with each other's spouses now as well.
It will either work or it won't. But I think that if you love somoene and you don't try - you'll always regret it and wonder what could have been. There are no guarantees in life - even many marriages end in divorce. All you can really do is follow your heart - and if you heart is telling you to try to make it work, then you should try to make it work!
So many people point to the exception and offers it as advice. Well it is bad advice. (It's no different than pointing out the 100 year old chain smoker as evidence you should buy a pack of butts, or the one man who left his wife for his mistress is evidence it's a good idea to date a married man.)
Did you even read my entire post? I readily admitted that just because it happened for me doesn't mean it will happen for the OP.
Quote:
The percentage chance of it working out is very very low.
If you truly loved someone, you don't attend colleges 1100 miles away.
I feel I can speak to this because I've been with the same man since we were both 15 and attended the same college. Why? Because we loved each other and the idea of being separated would never have occured to us. If she loved you, she'd stay near you, not attend a school so far away.
It will either work or it won't. But I think that if you love somoene and you don't try - you'll always regret it and wonder what could have been. There are no guarantees in life - even many marriages end in divorce. All you can really do is follow your heart - and if you heart is telling you to try to make it work, then you should try to make it work!
I'm in a similar situation! When my g/f and I realized we had feelings for each other we both knew that we could not remain just friends. We both felt that if we didn't try to make what would have to be an LDR work that there would always be this feeling of "what if". I've lived in NY the last 10 years... grew up in CA. She has lived in CA her entire life. I'm 30... she is 26. We've been seeing each other for extended weekends every 4-6 weeks or so. Video chat a few times a week. IM/text/call inbetween.
Fast forward 6 months. I've since lost my job 2 months ago due to corporate restructuring/layoffs. Don't think I have to comment on the state of the economy. I'm within a month of moving back to CA to live with my folks while I get back on my feet.
This unforeseen chain of events will put us within a couple of hours of each other. Kinda happy we decided to stick it out
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