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For me, personally, there is a great deal of freedom in being married. Knowing that my husband has committed himself to me, completely, forever, gives me an elevated sense of trust and stability and allows me to open up and share myself with him more than I ever would have been able to dating (knowing that we weren't necessarily committed forever).
What makes you think he is any more committed in a married state than in a non married state (except for legal and financial consequences which admittedly aren't trivial)? The point is, being married won't change the way he "feels".
For having a family, it's the best thing for stability.
Is it?
What's worse, kids being raised by arguing parents who are married or kids being raised by arguing parents who aren't married?
What's better, kids being raised by harmonious parents who are married or kids being raised by harmonious parents who aren't married?
What's worse, kids being raised by arguing parents who are married or kids being raised by arguing parents who aren't married?
What's better, kids being raised by harmonious parents who are married or kids being raised by harmonious parents who aren't married?
What makes you think he is any more committed in a married state than in a non married state (except for legal and financial consequences which admittedly aren't trivial)? The point is, being married won't change the way he "feels".
I think the very act of saying the vows, at least for some people, has an effect. It's like the oath of allegiance at a naturalization ceremony... it symbolizes something.
I think the very act of saying the vows, at least for some people, has an effect. It's like the oath of allegiance at a naturalization ceremony... it symbolizes something.
I agree to this. At this point in my life, I don't know whether I'd get married again. But if I did, it would be because of the symbol of a committed relationship.
The ritual means something; not just to me and my husband but to society. Marrieds couples are given more credibility than non-married couples (whether it is deserved or not).
Happily married people are healthier and happier in general. They earn and save more money, enjoy better sex, have stronger social networks and stronger family support systems. They live longer. I've read that there is less domestic violence and abuse between married couples verses non-married couples.
Marriage gives a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. I feel that our souls are designed to seek a life partner. When you find him/her, marriage will solidify and formalize your union.
Of course, being in a bad marriage negates all of the advantages of marriage. But when it's good, it's the best!
What makes you think he is any more committed in a married state than in a non married state (except for legal and financial consequences which admittedly aren't trivial)? The point is, being married won't change the way he "feels".
What makes me think he "feels" differently? He tells me he does. He acts like it does. I felt a change too. The day we said our vows there was a wave of comfort and stability that flowed over me. We promised in front of our entire families, friends, and God that we were committed to each other forever. We'd studied each other for months in pre-marital counseling, discussed our future plans together, and that day we made it official that we were each other's one and only forever.
The wedding day was a HUGE change in the level of commitment for us. There is no "out" any more. I can't break up with him. He can't leave me. Divorce is not an option in our relationship--we are fused together for life. I realize it might not be for everyone, but it was a major commitment step for us.
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