Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You can also rise above it and say this game is beneath me. I want to deal with adults, not children. The problem with this whole nice guy/bad boy debate is that it presumes those are the only two choices. You're either a bad boy who treats women like dirt or you're a nice guy who's boring and a complete pushover. But the reality is that there's a huge middle ground between those two extremes. One can be confident without being a jerk. One can be nice and respectful without being weak and spineless. And one can show a woman he's independent without having to play mind games.
You can, although the non-players are a rare breed indeed, and certainly keepers!
I hate the stereotyping as well. It's a very American thing. You're either a nerd or a jock, a wimp or Johnny Bravo. Americans seem to like extremes, there's no middle ground with them.
The reason the non-players are a rare breed is because they see the players succeeding with women and instead of learning to like who they are, they tell themselves that they have to change. But they never bother to ask if the thing that they're going after is worth it. Tommy Lee is your typical bad boy and Pam Anderson is the kind of woman who's obviously drawn to bad boys. A lot of guys may want to have sex with her, but I doubt you'd find many who'd actually want anything more than that. Why? Because you can tell by her choice in men that she's seriously messed in the head. If a girl rejects me in favor of a bad boy that treats her like dirt, I don't sit around feeling sorry for myself or wishing I could be more like the bad boy. I certainly don't come to forums like this to start threads where I bash women for wanting bad boys. Instead, I feel a sense of relief at having dodged a bullet. Give me a woman who has enough confidence in herself where she can look at a bad boy and say "yeah he's hot, but so what? I deserve better than that."
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,060,466 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane
The reason the non-players are a rare breed is because they see the players succeeding with women and instead of learning to like who they are, they tell themselves that they have to change. But they never bother to ask if the thing that they're going after is worth it. Tommy Lee is your typical bad boy and Pam Anderson is the kind of woman who's obviously drawn to bad boys. A lot of guys may want to have sex with her, but I doubt you'd find many who'd actually want anything more than that. Why? Because you can tell by her choice in men that she's seriously messed in the head. If a girl rejects me in favor of a bad boy that treats her like dirt, I don't sit around feeling sorry for myself or wishing I could be more like the bad boy. I certainly don't come to forums like this to start threads where I bash women for wanting bad boys. Instead, I feel a sense of relief at having dodged a bullet. Give me a woman who has enough confidence in herself where she can look at a bad boy and say "yeah he's hot, but so what? I deserve better than that."
The 'bad boy' thing is often such a thin facade, it's ridiculous trying to act like macho like you just don't care when you do. A man who feels all those strong emotions but refuses to cry (assuming their tear ducts still work!) is pretty pathetic, if you ask me. Real men aren't afraid of a little saltwater .
There are obviously polarized opinions about this, but disagreement has to be impersonal. Please debate the topic instead of attacking one another. Being overly condescending and picking fights is considered trolling, so please don't.
I did a little experiment on a female friend of 20+ years, I started acting like a ass, ignoring her, blowing her off for dates, not returning her phone calls.. and what happened? She started being closer to me, and more affectionate -- WTF????
Funny, I've done the similar things (mostly unintentionally) with more than a few women after they said I was "too nice", and had the same result. Even though I was no longer interested at that point, that change in behavior made me even less interested.
They say "Nice guys finish last". And maybe that was true a long time ago.
But today it's more like "Bad girls can't get good guys". They get unintelligent thugs and losers like themselves and, to save face, claim that's what they want.
I'm a "nice guy", am damn proud of it and I don't pine for the Snooki's of the world to any degree.
The 'bad boy' thing is often such a thin facade, it's ridiculous trying to act like macho like you just don't care when you do.
The thing that nice guys and bad boys have in common is that they both don't really see women as people, but more like trophies. It becomes obvious when the nice guy adopts the bad boy persona. Rather than learn to like who he is, he instead decides to be someone else. It may work and land him the girl of his dreams, but it's also kind of sad. You got one person who's lying about what they are and another person who has so little regard for herself that she'll choose to be with a guy who treats her like dirt. What a winning combination.
When women start acting like they are trophies and start holding themselves out as though they were trophies, then you can't blame a man for thinking that a woman is a trophy. Less pickiness, less time spent on the make-up, less time spent on the fashion, more time spent on valuing the man's inner qualities and the more a woman will TRULY be valued.
Words of wisdom.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.