Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
Old 05-01-2011, 10:59 PM
2,631 posts, read 7,022,832 times
Reputation: 1409


A while back I dated this psycho/promiscous girl.

I was naive, gullible and pretty much an idiot back then.

She basically lied, and stabbed me in the back to make a long story short. This was a year ago.

To my knowledge we are still married today.

For some reason she hasn't sent me any divorce papers.

We ended the relationship kind of funny. I left her because an opportunity arose(mainly because she is worse then filth) she claims that she was too much in love with me and she was focused on becoming rich so she pushed me away too focus on being rich.

She got me fired from my job, cheated on me multiple times, put her hands on me constantly and I did not find out until it was too late because we where living together, and married in a whole other state.

When I left her she called me having sex with some other guys in the background too try to hurt me.

Money was tight and I had none of it at the time. She played alot of games.

We are both very career driven people. The last words I remember from her on the phone was that my plans would never go through while she and the guy on the phone where mocking me having sex in the background.

Fast forward too today. She has a Bachelor's in Mass communications and works at a company called Aramark. Me I have just graduated Lincoln tech and will be going to school for engineering science.

For some reason I feel like her Mass communications degree failed her.

I have a feeling that my situation could take a turn for the better. The question is why hasn't she sent me the divorce papers. She blocked me on facebook because I was talking about divorce. I had to change my number to get her to stop calling and the last time I talked to her she said that she was still in love and even wanted me to come back.

However she called me mediocore, said I wasn't a real man and even had the nerve to kick me while I was down when I supported her when she was in the same position of not having a car ,little to no money and no one there to talk to.

So now I ask my friends the tables are beginning to turn..Should I lure her in with my upcomming success and get revenge on her or should I walk away?

Should I show her that karma is real and this is what you lost out on?

Last edited by Veyron; 05-01-2011 at 11:17 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Old 05-01-2011, 11:12 PM
3,573 posts, read 6,479,086 times
Reputation: 3482
Really, you're wasting all your energies on this person? Get a divorce lawyer and initiated the divorce. Living good is the best revenge so don't contact her again and move on. Don't worry about what she's doing. Live your own life. And don't blame her for all your marriage problems - sounds like both of you were playing each other.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-01-2011, 11:55 PM
1,206 posts, read 2,929,645 times
Reputation: 1153
ur wasting your time by thinking about getting revenge on her. Think about it, that will just be wasting more energy on her. Just let her go, move on and try to live a good life. Like the poster above said, living well is the best revenge. It would drive her crazy.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-02-2011, 12:18 AM
Location: SWUS
5,419 posts, read 9,204,841 times
Reputation: 5852
Walk away, there's no reason to get down and dirty on her level. That kind of thing only invites bad karma and even though it'll make you feel great for a little bit you may eventually come to regret it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-02-2011, 12:51 AM
1,841 posts, read 3,176,401 times
Reputation: 2512
WOW....THAT was alot of information and it sounds like a very unhealthy and dysfunctional relationship, you SHOULD be happy thatyou are no longer in the relationship...

While I agree that what she put you through was terrible you in a way allowed some of the hurtful behavior to continue...Answering THE phone when she would call, POSTING on her Face Book page...

This is all Passive agressive behavior on your part I am sorry.
As far as your advancement, school, doing better financially this should make you feel good and this should be enough..WHY would you want to make her pay? The past is the past and should stay there, do you realize that your way of thinking right now shows that she still has POWER over you because you are fixated on whether or not you should flaunt your new found success in her face?

Getting over something awful and bettering oneself is fantastic, processing the relationship and coming to terms with what happened, accepting YOUR part in the relationship ( There are always 2 parts) and not letting affect you is the best POSSIBLE revenge you can bestow on anyone whom has harmed you.

A question: "Why have you not taken the inititiave to serve her with dissolution papers?"
Don't wait for her, gain closure by taking matters into your own hands.
If it is a monetary issue? You do not need a lawyer..If there are no children involved, property, assets this seems like a clean dissolution of marriage.
Every county in every state has a "Law Facilitator" , you merely need to locate the office, make an appointment, state your case and the facilitator will guide you on the proper process, will assist you in drawing up the appropriate documents to serve her ( And yes you can serve her through the mail.)
You can obtain a FEE WAIVER depending on your fincancial status.
It really is not that complicated.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-02-2011, 01:21 AM
Location: Southern California
3,113 posts, read 8,385,037 times
Reputation: 3721
Originally Posted by dr74 View Post
A question: "Why have you not taken the inititiave to serve her with dissolution papers?"

If you're really done with the relationship, then file the divorce papers yourself.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-02-2011, 02:51 AM
Location: Whoville....
25,386 posts, read 35,570,269 times
Reputation: 14693
I think the question you want to answer is whether or not you're better than her. If you do the same thing she did, you're the sociopath. File for divorce and let it go. Just be thankful you weren't married long enough for her to get alimony, chalk one up to experience and get on with your life.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-02-2011, 03:18 AM
2,650 posts, read 3,014,740 times
Reputation: 3466
The surest way to achieve victory is to become what you despise. Because of the situation in my divorce I could have easily nuked my wife. My lawyer begged, money was to be had. I did not. I came to want to as events transpired, I wanted to hurt, to lash out. As I look back now I think one of the best things I did during that period was not go there. What I would have gained could never have payed for what I had to look at in the mirror every day. Your situation is different but also the same. You can take the high road or not. The question you need to ask is what will I see in the mirror when this if over and do I want to live with it?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-02-2011, 03:52 AM
Location: NoVa
18,431 posts, read 34,387,829 times
Reputation: 19814
wow. On both your parts.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-02-2011, 04:08 AM
26,142 posts, read 31,208,750 times
Reputation: 27237
I think you are dragging this out on your part and for what reason I have no idea unless you are addicted to chaos.

Let me tell you a story or two about Karma. We don't inflict karma on other people karma happens to other people. People such as this do not need your help, they do themselves in on their own and often it may take years.

I lived with a man who made a fool of me the way he screwed around and I finally left him. Jump ahead a number of years and I was at a party and ran into a mutual friends of ours. She asked me if I had heard about so and so and I said, he left a message on my answering machine the night before he got married and he said, 'No, he's divorced." I said, "Oh, did she catch him cheating." The guy laughed and said, "No, within months after getting married he came home and found her in bed with another man." That, sir, is Karma!

Another similiar instance took 10 years before it happened. But, as I said, they don't need your help, they'll do themselves in. You just have to let it go and not do this tit-for-tat back and forth and the more you do it the more it appears you like the attention.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top