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If I am reading correctly you stated partof the hesitancy for walking down the aisle happens to be the small fact that this would be marriage number 4 for the both of you?
I am all for marriage, I have been there and done that ONCE...I want to be careful before attempting it again ( No offense)
As far as CL?
All I can state from real experience? Is proof..there are a handful of friends of mine whom are divorced and think exactly like me..
I have a twin sister..whom has been with my common in law bro in law for 17 years with NO piece of paper and they have held it together when there was no binding document stating that they needed to be together, no elaborate marriage, just love and a common understanding...
So NO...obviously a piece of paper and a huge or small intimate event is needed
If you want to get married, do it officially. If you don't, no problem. Just live together for as long as you want to and be happy.
I think common law marriage is such an iffy thing legally that I would not risk it if you are hoping to glean any of the "rights" of marriage, either now or later on. No one wants to say they're on marriage #4 but in the end it's just a number and it's no one's business but yours. If you want to get married, do it. If not, just be partners who aren't married.
You don't mention your state, but odds are it does not recognize common law marriage. Since you both have been married 4 times and did not even discuss your future intentions prior to moving in together, I'm guessing that marriage is not particularly important to either of you. So long as the house is a rental, no need to rock the boat. However if, as a for-instance, you moved into his home and are helping to pay his mortgage, I think you be better off giving marriage a closer look or moving out.
CLM definition is more exact here in Canada (living 1 year together, or having a child, whichever comes earlier), but in case of separation it becomes iffier. Many people think that the definition equals them to married couples, but the definition is mostly in the revenue agency sense. When separating, division of property may or may not happen, depending on proof of contribution, judge, etc. So it is advisable (and it would be advisable to the US common-law couples) to have an agreement on paper, on what will happen should you both separate.
We live in Alabama, and I moved in with him, even though, I have a home that is paid for. My sons are currently residing in it while attending College.
That's just it, we aren't in a hurry, marriage is not gonna make us feel any different. As some of the posters failed to understand, you can be happy with out being married.
My whole point was if it is common law, might as well be legal, but we have worked it all out, and as far as the daughter goes, those problems are water under the bridge, and college is on her mind...
Thanks for all the valuable in put. It's appreciated.
CLM definition is more exact here in Canada (living 1 year together, or having a child, whichever comes earlier), but in case of separation it becomes iffier. Many people think that the definition equals them to married couples, but the definition is mostly in the revenue agency sense. When separating, division of property may or may not happen, depending on proof of contribution, judge, etc. So it is advisable (and it would be advisable to the US common-law couples) to have an agreement on paper, on what will happen should you both separate.
WOW, so in Canada you can be considered spouses after just having a baby together? Fascinating.
I'm curious, would you say this contributes to a more stable society in general in Canada? In other words, are people more likely to stay together and not have 3 or 4 baby mama's or baby daddy's because they are looked at as legally already technically "married" to the first baby's other parent?
Your statement that "...neither of us needed that peice [sic] of paper to prove anything." would indicated that your interest in a long-term commitment is doubtful.
The entire flavor of your posts lends me to think that both of you consider this a potentially temporary arrangement anyway and I seriously doubt that you will make the effort or take the trouble to do anything more than simply "shack up" until you separate in a drunken brawl or something better comes along.
Enjoy!
20yrsinBranson
Spoken like an old married person. You sound like one of her parents.
Some "shacked up" people stay together longer than married people. Hey, to each their own. Not a big deal to live together forever. Most people see it as a peice of paper. They live happily ever after.
I'd say remain as is, that way if it doesn't work out you don't have to go through the divorce process a 5th time. Unless there is going to be some huge financial benefit or other perk to having the marriage license and making it official, I'd say just enjoy what you have at the moment and ride it out for as long as it lasts. Why complicate things? Another divorce also means you may have to split half your assets to include the house your kids are living in. Keep it simple.
My point is that I don't want you to find out 10 years from now that you are CL. I believe there are all sorts of old, odd laws on the books, leftover from decades ago when things were quite different from what they are today. There are significant differences from state to state.
I suggest you get some real legal advice from an attorney who practices family law in your state. Many offer free consults and I'm sure it would be worth your time.
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