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The way you come off tells me that you might be a tad bit autistic, as you said. You fail to realize several things other people your age and even younger probably already know. For example, you are not sure what a date is. A date is when you go out to dinner or movies or dancing, or any other enjoyable occasion together in order to get to know each other better. The two people will sit down and ask each other questions in a pleasant fashion without raising their voices in argument or fighting. Or they will enjoy a movie together and possibly discuss the movie and take cues about their thoughts whilst talking about the movie. So you go on several dates if you happen to enjoy each other's personality and way of thinking. If you don't like a date or feel uncomfortable, then you just don't go on any more dates and one tells the other that it was nice getting to know them better but feel that their was no chemistry, compatibility or sparks.
The guy who ran out of the room when you told him your age sounds very immature. Running out of a room because someone is older is extremely dramatic and reeks of foul play. I would question why the foolish young man who ran out of the room would choose to be so dramatic. Be careful of people who fail to make sense, they are not to be trusted. And they usually have an agenda.
As for your history, I would recommend you leave it in the past. New boyfriends do not want to hear the gory details of your ex-husband's life with you. Everyone has a past, including him. If the new boyfriend should ask why your marriage failed, do not be ashamed to tell him the truth, but don't elaborate too much about your life with him. It is unnecessary.
I hope you can understand what I am saying. Remember that a person has one life, and if you like him enough to be thinking of him a great deal, taking a chance might bring you happiness that you never thought possible. If you fail to listen to your desires, when you get older, you might regret it and will have no way to turn back time. Remember that there is enough time for celibacy when you turn 70. At that age, you won't have a choice in the matter.
I would have never even mentioned any of those things about yourself. It makes it sound like you want him to reject you. Or you feel like he should. Go on a date. He may never ask your age at all. I'm dating a guy 6 years younger. He always says that he can't believe my age because I look and act younger than he thinks I should. It may turn out to be the best thing ever! Good luck to you!
So, OP...update?? Are you guys seeing each other now?
Yes. Yes we are. It turns out he is not that much younger than me (we are leaving that subject alone for now ), he has kids that are not that much younger than mine, and he was not super-young when he had them.
Things have moved pretty fast, and I am sorry I didn't post back to all the considerate people who took the time to write all your well-thought opinions. I can't tell you how much you broadened my perspective. It's incredible how little we can know ourselves.
He is talking long-term (waaay long-term) and I need to put the brakes on. There are so many problems with our situations, logistically and a lot of things. I keep throwing objections in his way (for instance, our kids would think we lost our minds) and he doesn't disagree, but he perseveres anyway.
The other day I told him "You are not going to fall in love with me and I am not going to fall in love with you, because....." [insert huge list of drawbacks here]. And after I finished my speech he just sat there staring at me with a little smile on his face, so me, annoyed, I go "WHAT? Don't just sit there staring at me. Say something."
And he goes "I find myself falling deeply in like with you."
Adorable, right? ..... AAAArrrgh.
Tell you one thing -- we are going to have to either pop the sexual bubble really soon or stop spending time together, because we are already almost having sex on the streets of NY. Never did I think I would be this kind of person!! If you are a New Yorker or just visiting this city, Huge Apologies to you for our R-rated PDA!!
He is talking long-term (waaay long-term) and I need to put the brakes on. There are so many problems with our situations, logistically and a lot of things. I keep throwing objections in his way (for instance, our kids would think we lost our minds) and he doesn't disagree, but he perseveres anyway. Good Lord, if that's your main objection, no wonder he's not taking you seriously. Your kids will grow up and leave home and this man could still be there for you. He sounds adorable. And remember what they say: If Mama ain't happy. . .
The other day I told him "You are not going to fall in love with me and I am not going to fall in love with you, because....." [insert huge list of drawbacks here]. And after I finished my speech he just sat there staring at me with a little smile on his face, so me, annoyed, I go "WHAT? Don't just sit there staring at me. Say something."
And he goes "I find myself falling deeply in like with you."
Adorable, right? ..... AAAArrrgh. [COLOR="rgb(139, 0, 0)"]The fact that you're saying things like that means you guys are well on your way--why not just go with the flow? Take a chance. Live! [/color]
I wish you two the best of luck and keep us posted. And please don't break up with him for dumb reasons like this. Have you met each other's kids yet?
I think the current way we all measure and represent "age" is so unfair! Obviously not all 30/40/50/60 etc. year olds look the same so why use age as a measure of anything? I am guessing in a very near future it won't matter. In 30 years or so age as a number would be a thing of the past and age as a three dimensional measure would be comprised of 1) one's fitness level and overall health 2) one's attitude 3) how old one looks and how well they age.
Spirits have no age and compared to a 500 year old soul we are all just babies too bad and so sad that everyone is so hung up on age and everywhere we go from the bank to clubs to everywhere they always want to associate that number with who we are and I so wish we would all have a different number to associate ourselves with, a randome number of sorts
I am in the same boat and find the truth to be the 3D age formula I mention above as I look and feel 10-15 years younger! So when I am forced to tell my so called real age or show my ID I feel THAT is a lie
I think the current way we all measure and represent "age" is so unfair! Obviously not all 30/40/50/60 etc. year olds look the same so why use age as a measure of anything? I am guessing in a very near future it won't matter. In 30 years or so age as a number would be a thing of the past and age as a three dimensional measure would be comprised of 1) one's fitness level and overall health 2) one's attitude 3) how old one looks and how well they age.
Spirits have no age and compared to a 500 year old soul we are all just babies too bad and so sad that everyone is so hung up on age and everywhere we go from the bank to clubs to everywhere they always want to associate that number with who we are and I so wish we would all have a different number to associate ourselves with, a randome number of sorts
I am in the same boat and find the truth to be the 3D age formula I mention above as I look and feel 10-15 years younger! So when I am forced to tell my so called real age or show my ID I feel THAT is a lie
Could not agree more ^^^^. True age is an attitude, not how many birthdays one's body has seen.
I live by these sayings:
Age is nothing but a number.
Age is mind over matter, if you don't mind it doesn't matter.
I think the current way we all measure and represent "age" is so unfair!
Obviously not all 30/40/50/60 etc. year olds look the same so why use age as a measure of anything?
I am guessing in a very near future it won't matter.
If you're limiting the discussion to appearance... maybe so.
But age also implies time spent experiencing and (hopefully) growing from that...
I'm glad you revived this thread, Sara, because I'm facing this situation right now.
I've been slowly getting to know a guy for more than 18 months now, and I'm completely, utterly smitten with him. The problem is he's 8 years my junior, and I'm having a really hard time feeling comfortable with the age difference. I, too, feel like I'm too old for him.
I never, ever thought I'd feel this way about a younger guy (my almost ex is 12 years older), so like the OP, it comes as a complete surprise to me. We haven't started a physical relationship yet, because I've been very cautious due to the age difference, but I'd love to have an intimate relationship (physical and emotional) with him.
Last edited by newdixiegirl; 09-01-2014 at 01:27 PM..
Fair enough, Onglet. I should have said that this activity that we are involved in (art) consumes all of our concentration during the time we are there. We only have bits of conversation during breaks, and we are almost always discussing art.
I think I told this guy enough about myself. I told him I don't really have relationships and that I am too old for him. I don't discuss my kids, my personal life, my day job, or a lot of other things about other aspects of my life, while in the art environment. Nobody in the group tells their "real age", it's just not what we do. We don't discuss "failed marriages", or anything else like that in this group. That's why I like this group. We are making art, and during the breaks we discuss art, artists, shows, exhibitions, technique, and we are serious and passionate about it.
The attraction I feel for this guy (which is evidently mutual) took me by surprise. I am trying to suppress it. I realize that he could be as brutal as you were in your message and I don't need the pain. I asked for gentleness, and evidently you are not capable of that.
Do what
Lady KLO
davenz
nuala
suggested, and enjoy and have fun!
You are not going to marry, so YOU ARE AS OLD AS HE SEES YOU !!
And I am not at all interested how old you are, you are as old as you look and appear.
P.S Now I read it's only 10 years, only, you could even get married!!
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), he has kids that are not that much younger than mine, and he was not super-young when he had them.
too bad and so sad that everyone is so hung up on age and everywhere we go from the bank to clubs to everywhere they always want to associate that number with who we are and I so wish we would all have a different number to associate ourselves with, a randome number of sorts 
