Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I always thought anyone over 30 male or female can date any age above theirs. I think for the most part by 30 you have enough life experience to know who you are and what you want.
I think the age thing is much less important than people make it out to be, although I can understand your misgivings and your desire not be hurt by the situation. You are interested in him, and he's obviously interested in getting to know you better. If his interest is sincere, your age is irrelevant to him. After all, he's interested in you--just as he sees you and knows you.
And finally, I don't believe for a minute that you have autism. There are other things that can cause one to have poor people reading skills and autism is only one of them. If I had a dime for every highly intelligent person with nerd-like tendencies who's told me they think they're autistic or Asperger's. . .
When the OP mentioned being interested in facial hair and mannerisms of men, I did think that someone either autistic OR artistic would say that. It flashed an image of a friend who WOULD say that, and she is an art, literature, and classical music junkie. I never thought of her as autistic, she just has a very special particular eye on life.
If the age difference is ten years well no problem I guess for some reason I thought you indicated the age difference as like 25 years...sorry Since you are clearly looking for a relationship not a fling that is why I had concerns since a long term relationship brings up issues of children and many other various issues that can't be avoided.
When the OP mentioned being interested in facial hair and mannerisms of men, I did think that someone either autistic OR artistic would say that. It flashed an image of a friend who WOULD say that, and she is an art, literature, and classical music junkie. I never thought of her as autistic, she just has a very special particular eye on life.
There are many ways to have a particular eye on life and autism is only one of them. It's just that there seem to be so many self dx'ed folks with Asperger's out there and usually it's not the case and while I may be generalizing, I'd say that most folks with Asperger's are not getting asked out regularly as our OP seems to be. I've had 2 or 3 people in my dance group confide in me that they think they have A, but there is only one that I strongly suspect has it and he has not confided any such thing. Not that I'm an expert, but I work with these kids every day at school so I've got a pretty good idea of what it looks like and these kids are not dating.
A great book to read is The Mind's Eye, if you have an interest in these kinds of things. It talks about learning disabilities, autism, genius, and particular ways of seeing and I found it fascinating. I guess we're straying a bit off topic but maybe not--it was a subpoint, lol.
There are many ways to have a particular eye on life and autism is only one of them. It's just that there seem to be so many self dx'ed folks with Asperger's out there and usually it's not the case and while I may be generalizing, I'd say that most folks with Asperger's are not getting asked out regularly as our OP seems to be. I've had 2 or 3 people in my dance group confide in me that they think they have A, but there is only one that I strongly suspect has it and he has not confided any such thing. Not that I'm an expert, but I work with these kids every day at school so I've got a pretty good idea of what it looks like and these kids are not dating.
A great book to read is The Mind's Eye, if you have an interest in these kinds of things. It talks about learning disabilities, autism, genius, and particular ways of seeing and I found it fascinating. I guess we're straying a bit off topic but maybe not--it was a subpoint, lol.
It doesn't really matter whether you or anyone else believe it, stepka, but I have to tell you that you are making broad generalizations that are erroneous.
You may be teaching kids who are on the spectrum and "not dating", but I can tell you that adults with autism can and do date and marry, result being that the gene or genes for autism are spread in the wider population, and in some populations, like in Silicon Valley, the incidence of high-functioning autism is endemic.
I tested highly (despite that I'm a female, because it is considered male-dominant), and several members of my family are also strongly autistic. My autistic son dates, is very successful with girls, and has had several long-term relationships. Other family members have not fared so well. As a child I was an extremely withdrawn musical prodigy, and then suppressed it in favor of attempting to be a "normal" American teenager. I have been learning coping mechanisms ever since, with varying results. And I haven't touched a musical instrument in years.
A theory about how I wound up with a gay husband could be that I missed all the signals and hints that he was throwing around left and right, but also he's a gifted liar. I know you understand this. I expect people to enter a relationship with the same motivations -- love and desire, and not ulterior motives, like needing a 'beard' to disguise gay tendencies, or wanting to breed children.
When I said to my new friend who wants to "date me" (what does that mean?), 'this is a warning -- I am slightly autistic, and I misread people all the time'. I give them generally benefit of good intent, and because I've been so often wrong, I now default to thinking EVERYone has mixed motives. I have 'face blindness' (which you think might be weird for an artist, but I think a lot of us in the studio are probably oddballs anyway), and I almost never can make eye contact, because I think looking in someone's eyes is terrifying for some reason. I tell people this because I don't want them to think I am conceited or icing them on purpose.
I have no problem whatsoever with people self-identifying as autistic, even if they are not actually. Why, because it creates a 'normative' Venn diagram in which autistic traits overlap soi-disant 'neuro-normal' traits. In other words, if everyone is a little autistic, then autism doesn't seem so weird -- maybe more autistic kids will be invited to parties, etc.
Anyway.
The fact that I wrote this little lecture at 6:30 am should tell you something...lol!!!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Since you are clearly looking for a relationship not a fling that is why I had concerns since a long term relationship brings up issues of children and many other various issues that can't be avoided.
