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Old 05-11-2011, 07:05 PM
 
Location: The Island of Misfit Toys
2,765 posts, read 2,792,866 times
Reputation: 2366

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Quote:
Originally Posted by HurricaneDC View Post
It might be #2, very close with #1 being looks, but it will never be #1. Fact.
You're just trying to justify your own shallowness by including everyone else with you. Fact.

What people put at the top of their own heiarchy of values is determined not by you but on their own experience. If you've experienced a deprivation of healthy personalities in your life, you will value personality above looks. Easily.
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Old 05-11-2011, 07:12 PM
 
Location: Southern California
15,080 posts, read 20,474,184 times
Reputation: 10343
Quote:
Originally Posted by Malkiel View Post
Bull****.

If you're under 6"0 you're screwed no matter how often you use the gym.
I guess I'm screwed.

[I hope a lot...]
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Old 05-11-2011, 07:15 PM
 
Location: The Island of Misfit Toys
2,765 posts, read 2,792,866 times
Reputation: 2366
Quote:
Originally Posted by amanda0808 View Post
A girlfriend and I made a bet. She saw this thread and thinks that all guys are drawn to looks before anything else. We're going out this weekend to a local bar, and I'm going to try to make her see that I can attract a guy based on my personality alone and not have him say, "I think you're attractive", "I came to talk to you because you're pretty", or any variant of that phrase.

I'm going to wear my hair up, put on my reading glasses, and put on a loose dress-type outfit (almost like a romper) so that guys can be fixated on my personality alone. I'm not planning on looking unattractive, but I'm not going to wear anything form-fitting. I understand that some guys go for the 'nerdy' looking type, but around here most guys are quick to hit on girls who dress more 'spicy'.

I'm not sure it'll work- it's kind of an experiment- but if I'm unable to attract anyone based on my personality alone, then I have to buy my friend lunch for 5 weekends in a row. Wish me luck!
Tell your girlfriend to pay up. I'm already attracted to you.
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Old 05-12-2011, 03:42 AM
 
461 posts, read 782,564 times
Reputation: 1006
It's chemistry rather than just good looks. I've gone out with men who modeled professionally and felt zero sexual chemistry. My longest relationship was with a guy who everyone thought was 'beneath' me in the looks department but I was the one who spotted him at a party and made a move on him. So it's not about perfect looks according to societal norms.

Why is wanting to feel sexually attracted to a potential partner wrong anyway? No one should feel bad about that. Personality plays a major role in attraction too. You can't separate it unless it's just a one night stand. I've known guys who banged my model friends for one night and never called them again. There are tons of lonely hot women out there! The reason being is no guy can stand their personalities after they've had them. The grass is only greener when your on the other side. I'd take mediocre looks with a decent personality any day over a hot train wreck.
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Old 05-12-2011, 04:23 AM
 
37,617 posts, read 45,996,704 times
Reputation: 57199
Quote:
Originally Posted by HurricaneDC View Post
But 99.9% of people will take a less compatible personality for a more attractive person.
Oh HELL no. Perhaps someone YOUNGER might do that. I know you are young, so your set is most likely still learning exactly what "compatible" means. But for us older folks that have been around the block a few times, trust me. Compatibility is of the UTMOST importance and will cause us to kick someone to the curb in a heartbeat.
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Old 05-12-2011, 04:30 AM
 
37,617 posts, read 45,996,704 times
Reputation: 57199
Quote:
Originally Posted by SifuPhil View Post
Of course - that's where they score their 'roids! Plus they get to check out the chicks doing bent-over rows and tell each other lies about their conquests...

Seriously - the gym loses its power after you reach a certain age. More mature adults realize that being "in shape" means a bit more than impressive lats and delts. A certain age-range and a certain social strata are attracted to gym rats - for anyone else it doesn't much matter.
I prefer someone that is "in shape'. Fit. That doesn't mean he needs to be a gym rat. I don't really care if he ever sets foot in a gym. But, it DOES mean that he must regularly participate in SOME physical exercise routine, and enjoy it. Couch potatoes and unhealthy inactive lifestyles are not my thing.
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Old 05-12-2011, 04:30 AM
 
Location: Oxford, England
13,026 posts, read 24,628,555 times
Reputation: 20165
Quote:
Originally Posted by BKSnook View Post
Absolutely!

But to say the gym has little to do with a guy's attractiveness is crossing the line
I don't think I have ever been attracted to even ONE guy who went to the Gym. I do like men who are physically active but prefer more natural sports like hiking, skiing, climbing , sailing etc... for example.

Many men are really fit and toned and healthy and will have NEVER have set foot in a gym.


In fact Gym Bunnies to me I would say on the whole are more of a turn-off. A healthy lifestyle is brilliant, I do not see where the Gym can improve on someone who canoes, swims or simply walks a lot to be honest. I prefer a man who gets his fitness from being outdoors and having a decent diet and lifestyle.


"Inflatable look" men do nada for me. Zip. Zilch. Rien. Nichts. Heck even having a physical job will keep you trim and toned most of the time.

My Father never set foot in a Gym and was super athletic simply because of his lifestyle. I think he would have rather had his eyeballs tattooed than going to the Gym.
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Old 05-12-2011, 07:48 AM
 
1,133 posts, read 2,283,547 times
Reputation: 1247
Quote:
Originally Posted by SifuPhil View Post
Yes it does - I won't deny that. But again, what is that self-esteem and confidence BASED upon? How big your pectoralis majors are? How many reps and sets you can grunt out? How much testosterone squirts out your ears? There are many ways to be proud of yourself - all I'm saying is only the younger generation seems to be so enchanted with physical beauty - the older generations have learned their lessons and seen that what is on the outside is NO indication of what's on the inside.
For some guys it's based on how many reps and sets they can do, or how big their biceps look.

For some it's based on running that extra 1/4 of a mile and surpassing your old time/distance.

For others it's getting that much closer to touching your toes in a stretch during yoga (me).

For others it's getting on a consistent schedule and actually keeping to it.

For others it's truly about setting goals, and achievement.

For others it is about looking better - whether it be slimmer, more toned, or bigger.

For others it's making new friends and meeting new members of the opposite sex.

For others it's simply about not sitting at home on the computer or watching television.

I can go on and on...
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Old 05-12-2011, 08:01 AM
 
Location: Da Region
1,906 posts, read 1,615,810 times
Reputation: 24840
Quote:
Originally Posted by Malkiel View Post
Bull****.

If you're under 6"0 you're screwed no matter how often you use the gym.
FYI: I think George Stephanopolous is a hottie!!!
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Old 05-12-2011, 08:29 AM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,940 posts, read 21,622,832 times
Reputation: 8681
Quote:
Originally Posted by BKSnook View Post
For some guys it's based on how many reps and sets they can do, or how big their biceps look.

For some it's based on running that extra 1/4 of a mile and surpassing your old time/distance.

For others it's getting that much closer to touching your toes in a stretch during yoga (me).

For others it's getting on a consistent schedule and actually keeping to it.

For others it's truly about setting goals, and achievement.

For others it is about looking better - whether it be slimmer, more toned, or bigger.

For others it's making new friends and meeting new members of the opposite sex.

For others it's simply about not sitting at home on the computer or watching television.

I can go on and on...
...

...I concede.

Gee, it's NICE when people finally define their terms, isn't it?

In those cases, yes, gyms are wonderful places. Perhaps I've been exposed to too many iron-heads, or the gyms I've worked in have been less than exemplary in their operations. The most frequently-spotted species in my neck of the woods is the gym rat, in all their pumped-up glory. Since you didn't define exactly what your gym-goer was like, I assumed the worst.

I know, I know...never assume...
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