Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 08-23-2014, 03:59 PM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,931 posts, read 11,668,574 times
Reputation: 13169

Advertisements

Well, you're hearing this from an American man who has been living in Denmark for about 20 years. Wherever women have the reputation for being strong and independent, the men are generally non-committal. That's true of danish men (according to danish women) and finnish men (according to finnish women). I can't speak for swedish men or women, although my impression of swedish people in general is that they are more down to earth and open than danish people and far less arrogant.

I would add that finnish movies about men often portray them as almost child-like and very melancholy, which is an odd combination.

But what do i know? I'm a foreigner.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-23-2014, 05:29 PM
 
1,165 posts, read 1,216,594 times
Reputation: 1030
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frihed89 View Post
Well, you're hearing this from an American man who has been living in Denmark for about 20 years. Wherever women have the reputation for being strong and independent, the men are generally non-committal. That's true of danish men (according to danish women) and finnish men (according to finnish women). I can't speak for swedish men or women, although my impression of swedish people in general is that they are more down to earth and open than danish people and far less arrogant.

I would add that finnish movies about men often portray them as almost child-like and very melancholy, which is an odd combination.

But what do i know? I'm a foreigner.
I hear that feminism is WAY worse in Scandinavian countries than in the US. If this guy has never traveled outside of his home country, he might be looking at the OP as extremely feminine and may be more interested in committing to her.

Maybe not, but it's possible.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-23-2014, 05:32 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,071 posts, read 107,036,480 times
Reputation: 115868
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cristo666 View Post
I hear that feminism is WAY worse in Scandinavian countries than in the US. If this guy has never traveled outside of his home country, he might be looking at the OP as extremely feminine and may be more interested in committing to her.

Maybe not, but it's possible.
You do realize that men in those countries don't view feminism as a bad thing, right?




P.S. Finland isn't Scandinavian. But, whatever.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-23-2014, 05:38 PM
 
Location: So Cal
51,921 posts, read 52,318,517 times
Reputation: 52365
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cristo666 View Post
I hear that feminism is WAY worse in Scandinavian countries than in the US. If this guy has never traveled outside of his home country, he might be looking at the OP as extremely feminine and may be more interested in committing to her.

Maybe not, but it's possible.
It's fairly obvious that you don't understand what feminism is about, it's not some great movement to unseat men or smash masculinity... .. it's about equal access to jobs, education equal opportunities etc etc.

Things of that nature.

It's not some nefarious mass movement akin to Islamic Sharia law.......
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-23-2014, 05:41 PM
 
1,165 posts, read 1,216,594 times
Reputation: 1030
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
You do realize that men in those countries don't view feminism as a bad thing, right?

I was responding to the previous poster, who said that the men there are less willing to commit. Well, there's a reason for that, don't you think?

Either way, I think OP has a good shot at doing well there with men.


Quote:
P.S. Finland isn't Scandinavian. But, whatever.
"Scandinavia" is a catch-all term that includes Denmark, Sweden, and Norway. It sometimes includes Iceland and Finland.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-23-2014, 05:47 PM
 
Location: Helsinki, Finland
5,452 posts, read 11,213,432 times
Reputation: 2411
Quote:
Originally Posted by CocoTheNut View Post
I am looking for any, and all, insights into the minds of Finnish men (or Nordic or Scandinavian). I have had a big crush for a year on this Finnish guy I met through work. We don't work for the same organization, though. We have had coffee during work hours a few times. We seem to have good chemistry and I sense that he likes me. Despite my dropping hints (which I'll admit to not being good at), he never asked me out. So, I assumed he's not that into me. I still snuck contacts with him by calling him at work every so often (about once a month), pretending to have something work-related to discuss with him.

Finally, after a year of this, after running out of reasons to call him or just tired of pretending, I asked him to come to my place for dinner in a month. I used his leaving as the excuse (hopefully my final one!). He readily accepted. I noticed that he has been flirty and complementary, but quite subtle about it. So, I upped the contact to once or twice week. He responds quickly to my emails/texts/phone calls. Yet, he still doesn't initiate contact or ask me out.

I want to hopefully be friends with him after he leaves. I am assuming any chances of dating him are out. But, when he comes over, I want to get physical with him. How do I approach this and not ruin a possible friendship with this guy?

P.S. I hope this is not an inappropriate question for this forum; this is my first thread.
You could always DM, you know.

If you're still active..

Last edited by Northwindsforever; 08-23-2014 at 05:59 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-23-2014, 06:01 PM
 
Location: Helsinki, Finland
5,452 posts, read 11,213,432 times
Reputation: 2411
Quote:
Originally Posted by Repubocrat View Post
When I was in Helsinki, I went to the "aquatic complex", which are the pools and facilities that were used for the 1952 Olympic Games. Very cool place but shorts were not allowed only Speedos, I rented some Speedos and I felt really uncomfortable lol.

They had saunas inside the locker room but you were only allowed in the sauna, nude, no shorts or Speedos allowed.

I met a Finnish girl there and she said that, it is very common for Finnish families to go in the sauna, together, all nude, mother, son, daughter, husband, etc.

It is a very interesting culture, much more open and liberated in terms of sex and nudity than here in the USA, i would love to go back sometime
Fathers in Finland do not go to sauna with their teenage daughters.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-24-2014, 10:14 AM
 
Location: Finland
24,144 posts, read 24,675,564 times
Reputation: 11103
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rojoho View Post
I am wondering if I should invite him to visit California? Or if that would seem too forward? I am also older than him. He seems to have absolutely no problem with rthat. Is it common in Finland for men to be in relationships with older women?
Im too cowardly to ask him, or to suggest the next step.
No, go ahead. Finnish men are quite used to women taking the initiative, so he won't feel uncomfortable.

What's the age difference? 2, 5, 10, 20 years? I don't think anyone has a problem with that if it isn't like 20 years.

But it's a long way from Finland to California, so it might be a problem with $$$

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cristo666 View Post
I hear that feminism is WAY worse in Scandinavian countries than in the US. If this guy has never traveled outside of his home country, he might be looking at the OP as extremely feminine and may be more interested in committing to her.

Maybe not, but it's possible.
I find it very unlikely. Most Finns have traveled quite extensively these days.

And despite all horror stories, Finnish men aren't feminine or 'demasculated'. The whole idea makes me laugh. Respectful, yes, feminine, no.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-24-2014, 11:37 AM
 
50,190 posts, read 35,859,235 times
Reputation: 76154
OP started thread about Finnish men 3 years ago...if she's still pining for this one, she has more serious issues than lack of knowledge about foreign men, lol.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-25-2014, 02:20 PM
 
Location: Sweden
23,862 posts, read 71,234,705 times
Reputation: 18600
If you had bothered to read the thread you would have known she gave up after another dinner.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top