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Old 05-14-2011, 09:06 PM
 
42 posts, read 114,360 times
Reputation: 38

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Here how the story goes:

I've dated a guy that I loved with all my heart for 5 years on and off thinking it was leading somewhere just to find myself getting treated LIKE CRAP and being used. The only thing good was great sex and I've stopped enjoying it after being mistreated for so long...
We eventually broke up and I took some time off for myself and after spending almost 2 years having not so charming dates and short lived relationships, I've decided a GREAT guy who loves me for me even if it's not love at first sight , even if the sexual chemistry wasn't there will be all that I needed. I just wanted to be appreciated and loved! My prayers got answered and now 2 years in the marriage I'm finding myself not very happy. I love my husband, we laugh together,respect each other but I'm NOT in love and even though sex is good there's NO sexual chemistry and most of the time I do it because I feel I have too
I want to FALL IN LOVE, I want the butterflies and I want the great sexual chemistry! We are actually having a big argument over some other issue and we are not talking and he has been VERY mean lately; all of this added with my secret unhappiness makes me want to take that opportunity to leave him, to be on my own and see what's out there...
Please, I know I'm in fault and should have considered this before I got married but I was treated so miserably by someone I gave my HEART too , that I just wanted somebody to love me...What should I do? I know the grass always seems greener on the other side but I don't want to shoot myself on the foot! can you really find someone that you are connected with in love, communication, sex and trust? HELP Please

Last edited by ImElizabeth; 05-14-2011 at 09:27 PM..
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Old 05-14-2011, 09:16 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 24,290,025 times
Reputation: 24069
There is no "hero on a white stallion."
Be happy that you got somebody who "scrambles your brain when you want some goober girl!"
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Old 05-14-2011, 09:18 PM
 
42 posts, read 114,360 times
Reputation: 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
There is no "hero on a white stallion."
Be happy that you got somebody who "scrambles your brain when you want some goober girl!"
That's exactly what I'm afraid of, I don't want to leave him just to find out I'm the one who lost but yet I'm so confused!
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Old 05-14-2011, 09:18 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 12,127,440 times
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Do you have kids or not, and if so, how old are they? If not, hit the road.
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Old 05-14-2011, 09:22 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 24,290,025 times
Reputation: 24069
Quote:
Originally Posted by ImElizabeth View Post
That's exactly what I'm afraid of, I don't want to leave him just to find out I'm the one who lost but yet I'm so confused!
Sounds like the two of you need to sit down and have a heart to heart. If your not happy in your marriage, then fix it! Do something about it. Good luck!
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Old 05-14-2011, 09:24 PM
 
42 posts, read 114,360 times
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Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
Do you have kids or not, and if so, how old are they? If not, hit the road.
I don't have any kids.
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Old 05-14-2011, 09:26 PM
 
42 posts, read 114,360 times
Reputation: 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
Sounds like the two of you need to sit down and have a heart to heart. If your not happy in your marriage, then fix it! Do something about it. Good luck!
I haven't done so because I'm afraid to hurt his feelings..I guess I'm going to have to tell him..but thank you for your advice!
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Old 05-14-2011, 09:29 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 12,127,440 times
Reputation: 8956
That advice might have been a little too flippant. Do you have values in common? Are you working towards the same goals? Do you like him, respect him, etc.? I think all of these questions and more should be addressed.

I would definitely get yourself into counseling and see where it leads you. And don't have any kids.
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Old 05-14-2011, 09:32 PM
 
42 posts, read 114,360 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
Keep it that way and get out now. Maybe do some cursory counseling first so he won't be completely shocked.
I'll wait when our fight's over to have that talk with him, but I do love him though I just wished there were some sexual chemistry there . My mother doesn't think it's a good reason to divorce, that's why I'm trying get input from other people...Thank you for your reply
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Old 05-14-2011, 09:35 PM
 
42 posts, read 114,360 times
Reputation: 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
That advice might have been a little too flippant. Do you have values in common? Are you working towards the same goals? Do you like him, respect him, etc.? I think all of these questions and more should be addressed.

I would definitely get yourself into counseling and see where it leads you. And don't have any kids.
So far we do cherish the same values and goals and I do love him and respect him but I'm not IN love and I don't think he's the only guy for me..Seeing him doesn't give butterfly. Sex is good with NO chemistry. I want to want him! but that feeling is not there!
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