Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
During the summer, I relocated to DC for a change in environment. I wanted to be away from everyone I knew and meet new people, I wanted to see what it was like to live in a completely different environment and just learn things about myself. For about 3 weeks (if it was even that long) I stayed with a friend on campus while he was in school and I was looking for a job. When I found a job I got a 1 bedroom apartment. DC is expensive so I'm paying a little more to stay by myself rather than have a roommate for the simply privacy. I want to be free to do whatever I want.
Well, when my friend finished school he asked if he could live with me for a little while until he found a job. I agreed to it so he allowed me to live with him, but it's only been two weeks and I'm ready for him to go. At first he was really messy and ate my food. I said something to him about it and now he cleans and doesn't touch my food.
However, I'm still ready for him to go out. I hate leaving for work in the morning and seeing him sleeping on the couch, I hate coming home and seeing him watching my tv. He also uses my macbook all day and downloads things on it. He expects me to drive him to get food and take him to work. I am walking distance to the metro and there are plenty of bus stops where I am but he doesn't want to use it.
Most of all I want my privacy back. Every time I see him in my apartment I get annoyed. Would it be mean to tell him he has to leave by the end of the month? If he leaves he has to go back home, which is 8 hours away, and he really wants to live in dc. I'm trying to be a good friend but I can't take living with him anymore.
It doesn't matter what we think. Ask him to move out after 3 weeks if you want to.
Personally, I think you should let him stay longer but put a deadline on it. Like say 3 months or whatever. There is a point where someone is taking advantage of you but this is not it.
During the summer, I relocated to DC for a change in environment. I wanted to be away from everyone I knew and meet new people, I wanted to see what it was like to live in a completely different environment and just learn things about myself. For about 3 weeks (if it was even that long) I stayed with a friend on campus while he was in school and I was looking for a job. When I found a job I got a 1 bedroom apartment. DC is expensive so I'm paying a little more to stay by myself rather than have a roommate for the simply privacy. I want to be free to do whatever I want.
Well, when my friend finished school he asked if he could live with me for a little while until he found a job. I agreed to it so he allowed me to live with him, but it's only been two weeks and I'm ready for him to go. At first he was really messy and ate my food. I said something to him about it and now he cleans and doesn't touch my food.
However, I'm still ready for him to go out. I hate leaving for work in the morning and seeing him sleeping on the couch, I hate coming home and seeing him watching my tv. He also uses my macbook all day and downloads things on it. He expects me to drive him to get food and take him to work. I am walking distance to the metro and there are plenty of bus stops where I am but he doesn't want to use it.
Most of all I want my privacy back. Every time I see him in my apartment I get annoyed. Would it be mean to tell him he has to leave by the end of the month? If he leaves he has to go back home, which is 8 hours away, and he really wants to live in dc. I'm trying to be a good friend but I can't take living with him anymore.
It's understandable as he is using your stuff and expecting you to drive him everywhere. This is not your son and you are not his chauffeur either. You are doing a very generous thing here in trying to help him get set up and mention he has a job as well. I would suggest 30 days maybe if you are close given the fact he is working-But either way he needs to start motivating himself as opposed to sleeping all day if you decide to let him stay longer. There was another thread like this last week though the situation was slightly different. When someone takes another in it is important the person uses the generous opportunity to really hit the ground running to get independent again. You extended an invitation but are not required to hold his hand. Tell him he needs to take the bus. How else can he learn the city if he does not drive? And your laptop is not a toy. Let him use it to find a place but as far as downloading stuff-No way. He must work nights it sounds and should be making use of the day to put down stakes. he needs to do this cause it sounds like your friendship will be at stake here if this goes on for months at a time.
During the summer, I relocated to DC for a change in environment. I wanted to be away from everyone I knew and meet new people, I wanted to see what it was like to live in a completely different environment and just learn things about myself. For about 3 weeks (if it was even that long) I stayed with a friend on campus while he was in school and I was looking for a job. When I found a job I got a 1 bedroom apartment. DC is expensive so I'm paying a little more to stay by myself rather than have a roommate for the simply privacy. I want to be free to do whatever I want.
Well, when my friend finished school he asked if he could live with me for a little while until he found a job. I agreed to it so he allowed me to live with him, but it's only been two weeks and I'm ready for him to go. At first he was really messy and ate my food. I said something to him about it and now he cleans and doesn't touch my food.
However, I'm still ready for him to go out. I hate leaving for work in the morning and seeing him sleeping on the couch, I hate coming home and seeing him watching my tv. He also uses my macbook all day and downloads things on it. He expects me to drive him to get food and take him to work. I am walking distance to the metro and there are plenty of bus stops where I am but he doesn't want to use it.
Most of all I want my privacy back. Every time I see him in my apartment I get annoyed. Would it be mean to tell him he has to leave by the end of the month? If he leaves he has to go back home, which is 8 hours away, and he really wants to live in dc. I'm trying to be a good friend but I can't take living with him anymore.
Sounds like he did find a job, so why isn't he in his own place yet?
You stayed with him 3 weeks, so allowing him to stay about 3 weeks is only fair - suck it up.
Sorry I didn't clarify. When I say drive him to work, I mean his internship. He still has an internship from when he was in school, but he does not have a job. Just an internship. Some of you are saying I'm being ungrateful which I was afraid of...i don't want him to think I'm being ungrateful or selfish. When I stayed with him I never asked him for anything. I cleaned up after myself, I had my own food, I used public transportation, I had my own computer and I was gone all day. I literally used his place as a place to last my head at night. Thursday is when he finally started cleaning up after his self, and that's only because I said something more than once to him. I never ate his food so I he shouldnt eat him. Just like I used public transportation, I think he should too. I'm walking distance to a lot of things. And I think he should use my computer mainly for sending out resumes and job searching but instead I see a bunch of music and stuff he downloaded.
Sorry I didn't clarify. When I say drive him to work, I mean his internship. He still has an internship from when he was in school, but he does not have a job. Just an internship. Some of you are saying I'm being ungrateful which I was afraid of...i don't want him to think I'm being ungrateful or selfish. When I stayed with him I never asked him for anything. I cleaned up after myself, I had my own food, I used public transportation, I had my own computer and I was gone all day. I literally used his place as a place to last my head at night. Thursday is when he finally started cleaning up after his self, and that's only because I said something more than once to him. I never ate his food so I he shouldnt eat him. Just like I used public transportation, I think he should too. I'm walking distance to a lot of things. And I think he should use my computer mainly for sending out resumes and job searching but instead I see a bunch of music and stuff he downloaded.
Sounds like it's past time for a conversation on expectations and boundaries.
You made the mistake of thinking that because YOU were a considerate guest that he would be too!
Talk to him and come up with a new set of rules to live by and a time frame for when he plans to get out on his own.
But don't ruin the friendship over this lack of communication!
I don't think you are being mean. I had to deal with the exact same situation myself and I lost a friend because of it. Instead of trying to fix the situation like you are trying to do I just left it like it was and it turned into this hate relationship toward my friend. We don't speak anymore. I think its best to be more direct and to the point in the start instead of letting the situation worsen and become more and more frustrated every day. You might end up reacting very badly at some point and you will regret it. I say have the talk with him and tell him you are uncomfortable when he is around and that you wish him to leave. Give him a number of days and thats it. Its your place. You pay for it. You should feel good at home, not irritated all the time.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
