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Unless you're some sort of nationally-recognized celebrity, like an author or an entertainer, I can see no reason at all why changing your surname to his should even minutelt effect your "career."
Also, any woman who voices this concern should really do some more serious thinking before committing to marriage. If something as superfluous as a name change is concerning you, than chances are some of the larger and more important promises and committments that are instrumental in creating a good marriage are most likely beyond your grasp.
I just got married and took my husband's name. I loved the name my father gave me, I don't really like my new name that much (or maybe I am just getting used to it), but I know it was very important for my husband. He is very proud to pronounce my new name, so is all his family and I didn't even think for a moment to keep my old name. He would have been upset, my mother in law would have had a nervous breakdown (yeah, I know, none of her business, but try to live with that for the next 50 years).
I had some feeling of rejection towards his last name because that is the way his mother called his father most of the time (for them it was an inside joke that worked very well); but because I didn't really like their marriage at all (he was brutal and she was completly submissive), for a long time in my mind the name and the couple linked. Now I hope I am over it. I am trying hard to adjust to my new name, but professionally I haven't changed it yet (just in the official documents) because I work with a lot of people who know my other name and I would confuse them.
We married when we were 24 and I took my husbands last name for the simple fact that it was common and easy to pronounce.
I was so tired of spelling my last name for people, people mispronouncing my last name and making assumptions about my background based on my last name.
It was an easy decision.
This is what I did. It was also an easy decision for me.
The second time 'round is going to be a tad different, on account of my fiance's last name is very uncommon. Regardless, I'll be more than happy to be out from under my ex's easy to understand and pronounce last name, if for nothing else than the connotation and remembering all the aspects of our failed marriage.
I think it depends on your beliefs and what you value..You have to know if this wont be a negative factor in your marriage..Talk to your hubby and see what you two can agree with that works for best for both of you. You didn't marry yourself you married someone who you want to share your life with
I'm old fashioned when it comes to marriage, I believe the man is the head of the household and his name should be taken.
Maybe you could hypthenate both of your names.
I would have no grief if the girl did not but in fairness I am older and she would already have a long established life in her own name. In my mind there is no reason to be under the expectation that she HAVE to change her name. My own daughter kept her name for a while but then changed it simply to reduce hassle.
If something as superfluous as a name change is concerning you, than chances are some of the larger and more important promises and committments that are instrumental in creating a good marriage are most likely beyond your grasp.
But on the other hand, if a name change is "so superfluous" then why does the wife have to change her name if she doesn't want to? If it's not a big deal, it's not a big deal either way. Lots of men freak out when offered the possibility to hyphenate or change their names, because they feel like their name is their identity. It's really no different for women.
I changed my name, but if I were older when I married I might have thought about it some more, rather than just doing it because that's what was expected. I like that we all have the same surname, but I do mourn the loss of my name sometimes.
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