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Men make women's social lives happen in most significant ways (in terms of starting a marriage, family, dating etc.) Men initiate all the significant experiences a woman has socially, and often times even careerwise. And even on the rare occasion where a woman initiates interaction with men they like, they lack the persistence and follow thru that men must have to be successful at dating. Women can give up easily because they know there will be another man who comes along and does all the heavy lifting as long as she is even remotely receptive to his advances. If a woman initiates interaction with a man, you had better reciprocate or show clear and overwhelming interest fairly quickly, as the window of opportunity that women give men to pick up the ball and run with it is very small; and the expectation IS that you pick up the ball from there and run with it and not continue to let her do the pursuing.
On the contrary with men, she can be shy or bashful or unreceptive to his advances all she wants, but until she labels him a complete creeper and or a threat, he's going to at least leave the door open to the possibility of romance with her, if not completely and relentlessly pursue her still. With women, if they do initiate romance with men, it's either subliminal and meek, or the affection is fleeting and short lived after they perceived that he hasn't picked up the baton to take it from there; because even in this new and progressive milineum, in her mind, as the woman she's done more than she even should have in the first place. So I would say a shy awkward man is basically done for, if he doesn't make something happen in his romantic life.
This is true, for the most part.
However, you are leaving out one extremely important factor: sexual market value.
I've had situations where women were clearly throwing themselves at me and I did not immediately run with it (either out of not noticing, not being interested, etc). They were basically around whenever I wanted them because their SMV was lower than mine.
If my SMV was equal to or lower than that of the woman, then, yes, I lost the girl if I didn't jump on the opportunity right away.
Usually I see one awkward person with a take charge or social butterfly.
Usually they compliment each other.
He/she is quiet yet stable
The other is social but a tad radical which needs to be brought down a notch by the quiet man/woman.
Oh, NOW you tell us. : I could have used that knowledge in eighth grade.
When I was in sixth grade I had a classmate who was a classic social butterfly. I didn't know her at all and didn't talk with her that year. Didn't think we had anything in common.
Two years later I was back in that town, at my aunt's place the day before Thanksgiving. To kill some time before dinner I went out for a short walk. Ran into a classmate and we got talking. Miss Butterfly was also outdoors, saw us and joined in. In ten minutes I had melted inside twice. Nobody else has ever melted me once, let alone twice. Let alone in ten minutes. Of course I didn't think I had a snowball's chance so I didn't try. But I did get to know her a little as I had numerous opportunities to return to the town and see friends there.
But seriously that is good to know - you really never know until you get to know a person better.
Men are also very so much more accepting... if a woman makes a social misstep chances are the guy will look it over out of hornyness, while if the guys tongue slips and he says something stupid it's pretty hard to save the situation...
This has happened to me before on online dating about a couple of years ago. There was this one woman who lived in Jersey who had contacted me first. Had great back and forth conversation for a while, added each other on FB, talked there, etc.
During a FB convo, I said ONE playful sexual thing (had a smiley face at the end of it), and she pretty much lost interest right there. Blocked and remove me on FB, and on OKCupid.
I made an alternate account on OKCupid basically saying that I was joking and did not mean anything by it, she said my comment was very demeaning and that I said that before we even had a chance to meet.
To me, I dodged a bullet with her there. If she was going to fly off the handle off ONE sexual comment (we had been talking for a while, and figured it'd be okay to use some little sexual language a bit), then I dodged it with her.
Oh, NOW you tell us. : I could have used that knowledge in eighth grade.
When I was in sixth grade I had a classmate who was a classic social butterfly. I didn't know her at all and didn't talk with her that year. Didn't think we had anything in common.
Two years later I was back in that town, at my aunt's place the day before Thanksgiving. To kill some time before dinner I went out for a short walk. Ran into a classmate and we got talking. Miss Butterfly was also outdoors, saw us and joined in. In ten minutes I had melted inside twice. Nobody else has ever melted me once, let alone twice. Let alone in ten minutes. Of course I didn't think I had a snowball's chance so I didn't try. But I did get to know her a little as I had numerous opportunities to return to the town and see friends there.
But seriously that is good to know - you really never know until you get to know a person better.
Usually it takes the opposites(patient shy one) to calm the social one down. Or if the shy one is getting walked all over, the big mouth will step up and tell them off.
Usually I see one awkward person with a take charge or social butterfly.
This is VERY true of myself and my husband. Well, not necessarily "awkward" but very very shy. I ALWAYS pull through and am the social butterfly, making up for both of us being shy. In fact I am generally the person to pull that one random shy/awkward/uncomfortable person out of his/her shell at a party or get-together.
Very few people who meet me IRL can believe I'd actually rather be sitting up in a tree reading a great book than doing pretty much anything else on earth...because I do that "pull the next person out of his/her shyness" thing and that "next person" is always right next to me since now that person is my husband! If that makes sense.
BTW, sorry to necro that answer...but since the thread was originally necro'd at the age of four years and now has been re-necro'd, I figured, what the heck.
Men make women's social lives happen in most significant ways (in terms of starting a marriage, family, dating etc.) Men initiate all the significant experiences a woman has socially, and often times even careerwise. And even on the rare occasion where a woman initiates interaction with men they like, they lack the persistence and follow thru that men must have to be successful at dating. Women can give up easily because they know there will be another man who comes along and does all the heavy lifting as long as she is even remotely receptive to his advances. If a woman initiates interaction with a man, you had better reciprocate or show clear and overwhelming interest fairly quickly, as the window of opportunity that women give men to pick up the ball and run with it is very small; and the expectation IS that you pick up the ball from there and run with it and not continue to let her do the pursuing.
Yes, there's a lot of truth to this - in many cases. However, as others have said, there are women out there who are sexually aggressive & initiate contact with guys, and do even pursue them - even if the guy doesn't initially appear to be interested.
I have dated some of these women, and think it's great that they make the first move. I'm used to things happening this way, so rarely bother to go after women myself anymore. It helps that I have 0 interest in traditional dating relationships & 0 interest in getting married/settling down. Nor do I have time for these types of things anyway - I have an extremely demanding & busy job, not a lot of free time, and 0 tolerance for bull$$#t.
Quote:
Originally Posted by freemkt
A lot of guys would find that difficult to believe; the only plausible scenario they could imagine is a recluse who never gets out of the house.
Women like this do exist, though I agree they are rare. My family knows an older couple who have a daughter like that: She is in her late 30's, unemployed, lives at home, and is painfully shy/socially awkward - and, yes, she is reclusive and rarely leaves the house. As far as we know, she's never even been on a date - and I would be surprised if she's even been asked out on a date. She has problems holding down a regular job - which typically requires that you interact with people - due to her shyness. So, women like this do exist - though, again, they're quite rare.
Last edited by The Big Lebowski Dude; 02-03-2016 at 06:53 PM..
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: I could have used that knowledge in eighth grade.
