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I was thinking about the near unanimous advice I've observed on the forum, which encourages ladies *not* to settle for any less than their own standards for a relationship. (Which I don't necessarily disagree with -- my only issue would ideally be if certain "standards" the ladies are looking for are always 100% realistic, 100% of the time.)
At the same time, I have also seen near-100% encouragement for men *not* to place women that they're interested in romantically on a pedestal. Again, I see the inherent underlying logic and reasoning in that.
Then it happened to occur to me, there may be a certain degree of overlap, between the "pedestal" advice and the "settling" advice. Namely this: do some ladies ever place *themselves* on the proverbial pedestal, by their adoption of having excessively picky, narrow, or extreme relationships standards?
Essentially, somehow I don't think some girls necessarily need a guy to place them on a pedestal, to themselves be on one already?
I was thinking about the near unanimous advice I've observed on the forum, which encourages ladies *not* to settle for any less than their own standards for a relationship. (Which I don't necessarily disagree with -- my only issue would ideally be if certain "standards" the ladies are looking for are always 100% realistic, 100% of the time.)
At the same time, I have also seen near-100% encouragement for men *not* to place women that they're interested in romantically on a pedestal. Again, I see the inherent underlying logic and reasoning in that.
Then it happened to occur to me, there may be a certain degree of overlap, between the "pedestal" advice and the "settling" advice. Namely this: do some ladies ever place *themselves* on the proverbial pedestal, by their adoption of having excessively picky, narrow, or extreme relationships standards?
Essentially, somehow I don't think some girls necessarily need a guy to place them on a pedestal, to themselves be on one already?
Sure, would be happy to. It essentially boils down to this: if some ladies are so unwilling to "settle" for something that is simply not realistic for them, given their situation, are they by extension also placing *themselves*, on a pedestal of unrealistic expectations?
For example: a girl who is a 3-4 in looks, will *only* ever consider men romantically who are a 10; no one else lower than a perfection in looks (a 10) will simply do for them, even though they themselves fail to meet that standard. By their rather unrealistic criteria, they place themselves on a pedestal.
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 05-18-2011 at 09:44 PM..
Reason: Adds
Eh, it's not that bad of a place after all! It's a lil' windy up there and you usually get a few scratches after falling down, but it's not that big of a deal! The view, on the other hand, is great!
Well, I think you could say that for both sexes. I see and hear both male and female thinking they're all that and waiting for Mr/Mrs Right in their unrealistic views of what they want in a partner. I don't think it's more women or more men that are doing that, I think it's almost equal.
Sure, would be happy to. It essentially boils down to this: if some ladies are so unwilling to "settle" for something that is simply not realistic for them, given their situation, are they by extension also placing *themselves*, on a pedestal of unrealistic expectations?
For example: a girl who is a 3-4 in looks, will *only* ever consider men romantically who are a 10; no one else lower than a perfection in looks (a 10) will simply do for them, even though they themselves fail to meet that standard. By their rather unrealistic criteria, they place themselves on a pedestal.
Ive seen this, its quite sad actually, a woman who is passing guys that are in her 'league' because she is hoping for Brad Pitt, it never happens though and eventually they have to take themselves off of their self-made pedestal. Afterall Men are visual, and if the guy is handsome and has a good body he isnt going to settle either, this girl just won't be approached by this league of man.
Well, I think you could say that for both sexes. I see and hear both male and female thinking they're all that and waiting for Mr/Mrs Right in their unrealistic views of what they want in a partner. I don't think it's more women or more men that are doing that, I think it's almost equal.
your right, but the only difference I see is the women might get some guys approaching them at their 'level' (hate to put it that way), but they might turn them down. The 3 out of 10 guy likely won't ever be approached by women and thus will rejected thus forced to lower his standards (in theory of course)
your right, but the only difference I see is the women might get some guys approaching them at their 'level' (hate to put it that way), but they might turn them down. The 3 out of 10 guy likely won't ever be approached by women and thus will rejected thus forced to lower his standards (in theory of course)
Well, I think you could say that for both sexes. I see and hear both male and female thinking they're all that and waiting for Mr/Mrs Right in their unrealistic views of what they want in a partner. I don't think it's more women or more men that are doing that, I think it's almost equal.
True -- I don't dispute your logic and wisdom there donie!
Please allow me rephrase the question: do both genders, ever place themselves on a pedestal, by having probable unrealistic relationship criteria?
I was thinking about the near unanimous advice I've observed on the forum, which encourages ladies *not* to settle for any less than their own standards for a relationship. (Which I don't necessarily disagree with -- my only issue would ideally be if certain "standards" the ladies are looking for are always 100% realistic, 100% of the time.)
At the same time, I have also seen near-100% encouragement for men *not* to place women that they're interested in romantically on a pedestal. Again, I see the inherent underlying logic and reasoning in that.
Then it happened to occur to me, there may be a certain degree of overlap, between the "pedestal" advice and the "settling" advice. Namely this: do some ladies ever place *themselves* on the proverbial pedestal, by their adoption of having excessively picky, narrow, or extreme relationships standards?
Essentially, somehow I don't think some girls necessarily need a guy to place them on a pedestal, to themselves be on one already?
Anyway, just a thought here...
SOME people (not just women!) put themselves on pedastals all the time!
These are usually people with a very high opinion of themselves (egomaniacs) or narcisisists - not the kind of person an emotionally healthy person would be attracted to
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