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I'd normally never suggest a divorce, but, you cheated and then acted in a way that does not show any contrition. It's past the point where he will ever be able to forgive you, and unable to forgive you he will be unable to stop being abusive. It's dead.
edit: and no, jesus will not make everything okay. Neither will sobriety.
Sorry to hear about our troubles, but the solution is simple.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pkseabee
i goofed and posted this on the wrong forum earlier, so hopefully, this gets some more member ideas for me.
My husband and i have been married for 2 1/2 years and have been separated off and on 3 different times over his alcohol abuse turning to emotional and physical abuse. Every time he sobers up he pulls the religion angle and says he just needs god and me and that everything will be okay as long as he leaves the booze alone. But, the bitterness runs so deep! He thinks that as soon as he shows signs of straightening up, that he should be allowed to give me ultimatums for how i spend my free time.
Granted, he has a lot to worry about. A couple of years ago i went out for dinner with some co-workers when my husband and i were separated. The dinner ended up later as a sexual interlude between me and this particular co-worker. I felt so guilty about the whole thing, i felt the need to divulge this episode to my husband before we started over from scratch. So, now, he feels he cannot trust me. I feel i don't want to please him, and round and round we go. The bitterness runs deep on both sides. We tried marriage counselling once, but it turned into a big gripe session between the counsellor and my husband about what a cheating jerk i was to disregard our vows. I fully take responsible for my actions and have profusely apologized, however, i can't get over the continual barage of emotional and physical abuse i endure over it at home. It makes it so when he gives me requests of my free time that i want to do anything but what he asks!!!! It feels like being in high school all over again with people dictating your life, but at least then, i knew my folks loved me!!! I really doubt that my needs are an important part of the equation in our marriage.
divorce
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Sorry to hear about our troubles, but the solution is simple.
