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Old 05-21-2011, 12:02 PM
 
4 posts, read 3,199 times
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I have a friend at work who I believe might be attracted to me. Up until now our relationship has been strictly professional, but something recently happened that kinda through me for a loop. We work with children and we recently chaperoned an event together (we normally don't work together much, we just see each other at meetings and such but it is not very often). He kept complimenting me the whole time and at times would touch me (not inappropriately, but in a flirtatious way). At one point we were sitting next to each other and he put his hand on my knee. Actually, after all the things he had been saying to me I was very flattered and I put my head on his shoulder and that was when he put his hand on my knee. It was brief, because it was the only time we were alone and it didn't last long. We are both happily married and are not looking for anything extramarital, but after what happened I'm wondering if I should just act like nothing happened or should I talk to him about what happened? Your advice is greatly appreciated!
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Old 05-21-2011, 12:05 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,246 posts, read 94,102,719 times
Reputation: 40068
Quote:
Originally Posted by nenita16 View Post
I have a friend at work who I believe might be attracted to me. Up until now our relationship has been strictly professional, but something recently happened that kinda through me for a loop. We work with children and we recently chaperoned an event together (we normally don't work together much, we just see each other at meetings and such but it is not very often). He kept complimenting me the whole time and at times would touch me (not inappropriately, but in a flirtatious way). At one point we were sitting next to each other and he put his hand on my knee. Actually, after all the things he had been saying to me I was very flattered and I put my head on his shoulder and that was when he put his hand on my knee. It was brief, because it was the only time we were alone and it didn't last long. We are both happily married and are not looking for anything extramarital, but after what happened I'm wondering if I should just act like nothing happened or should I talk to him about what happened? Your advice is greatly appreciated!

hmmmm...you don't have to be a man to answer this question!

Honey, he was fishing...looking for your level of interest in him.

I would not "discuss" it with him, but I would put some firm boundries in place to make sure you don't slip down that slippery slope you've climbed up on.
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Old 05-21-2011, 12:29 PM
 
Location: Vegas, baby, Vegas!
3,977 posts, read 7,066,685 times
Reputation: 3719
I agree with the above, tempting as it may be, you are both risking a lot

Jonathan
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Old 05-21-2011, 12:46 PM
 
2,996 posts, read 5,314,128 times
Reputation: 1802
Quote:
Originally Posted by nenita16 View Post
I have a friend at work who I believe might be attracted to me. Up until now our relationship has been strictly professional, but something recently happened that kinda through me for a loop. We work with children and we recently chaperoned an event together (we normally don't work together much, we just see each other at meetings and such but it is not very often). He kept complimenting me the whole time and at times would touch me (not inappropriately, but in a flirtatious way). At one point we were sitting next to each other and he put his hand on my knee. Actually, after all the things he had been saying to me I was very flattered and I put my head on his shoulder and that was when he put his hand on my knee. It was brief, because it was the only time we were alone and it didn't last long. We are both happily married and are not looking for anything extramarital, but after what happened I'm wondering if I should just act like nothing happened or should I talk to him about what happened? Your advice is greatly appreciated!
If you were both truly happily married, then you would have great respect for your marriage partners and do everything possible to protect your marriages and children. Temptations will come along occassionally, but you need to dispense with them at once and not entertain them , nurture them, or get carried away by them. Right now...you have both committed emotional infidelity on your spouses because youre both trying to show each other that they are cared for , attractive, etc... You both have alot to loose and you both have alot of hurt that will be put on your marriages if you listen to our mass media and culture that says 'go for it...you only live once' . Nip it in the Bud now otherwise its just a matter of time till it escalates into a physical relationship that is illicit and harmful. Learn from others like Schwartenegger --- I can assure you that his illicit orgasm wasnt worth what hes putting his family thru right now. It never is because its a strong violation of Gods absolute moral law . Regards.
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Old 05-21-2011, 12:52 PM
 
Location: So Cal
46,424 posts, read 45,583,487 times
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Yeah, don't bring it up. Just put a little distance between you guys....

I think he'll get the message.

I personally wouldn't do something like that, even if I was single, let alone being married.

I think in order to touch a woman's leg, you have best been on a couple of dates, or least be in the process of dating each other.

Not being married to others..........
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Old 05-21-2011, 12:59 PM
 
Location: Vegas, baby, Vegas!
3,977 posts, read 7,066,685 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 007.5 View Post
because its a strong violation of Gods absolute moral law . Regards.
Bringing in the sheaves, bringing in the sheaves,
We shall come rejoicing, bringing in the sheaves.


Jonathan
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Old 05-21-2011, 01:18 PM
 
117 posts, read 97,784 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nenita16 View Post
I have a friend at work who I believe might be attracted to me. Up until now our relationship has been strictly professional, but something recently happened that kinda through me for a loop. We work with children and we recently chaperoned an event together (we normally don't work together much, we just see each other at meetings and such but it is not very often). He kept complimenting me the whole time and at times would touch me (not inappropriately, but in a flirtatious way). At one point we were sitting next to each other and he put his hand on my knee. Actually, after all the things he had been saying to me I was very flattered and I put my head on his shoulder and that was when he put his hand on my knee. It was brief, because it was the only time we were alone and it didn't last long. We are both happily married and are not looking for anything extramarital, but after what happened I'm wondering if I should just act like nothing happened or should I talk to him about what happened? Your advice is greatly appreciated!

You put your head on his shoulder? How would YOU feel if your husband put his head on an attractive woman's shoulder
What you are doing is really inappropriate.
Wow.
I have a feeling you are interested in this guy as well.
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Old 05-21-2011, 01:20 PM
 
4 posts, read 3,199 times
Reputation: 10
Thanks for the replies everyone!

lovesmountains - i know you don't have to be a man to answer this question. i simply want to understand, from a man's perspective, what he's feeling and thinking.

007.5 - trust me, we both do respect our spouses very much. he has a reputation for quickly reminding others that he's happily married and would never do anything to jeopardize his marriage (women have hit on him). i believe this is one of the reasons everyone respects him so much. he's genuinely a really nice guy and a true gentleman. and people don't ever flirt or say inappropriate things to me personally because they know that i am happily married and have clearly expected everyone to respect me (but word gets around and i know that men talk about me but no one has ever crossed the line with me). this is why i'm asking for advice. we've had a strictly professional relationship and a nice friendship has developed, but now i'm confused. i don't want anything to change between us, but i don't know what the best way is to ensure that. should i talk to him about what happened and maybe give us a chance to get things off our chest, or should i just pretend nothing happened and hope it doesn't change our friendship.
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Old 05-21-2011, 02:02 PM
 
12,226 posts, read 12,229,208 times
Reputation: 10252
Quote:
Originally Posted by nenita16 View Post
I have a friend at work who I believe might be attracted to me. Up until now our relationship has been strictly professional, but something recently happened that kinda through me for a loop. We work with children and we recently chaperoned an event together (we normally don't work together much, we just see each other at meetings and such but it is not very often). He kept complimenting me the whole time and at times would touch me (not inappropriately, but in a flirtatious way). At one point we were sitting next to each other and he put his hand on my knee. Actually, after all the things he had been saying to me I was very flattered and I put my head on his shoulder and that was when he put his hand on my knee. It was brief, because it was the only time we were alone and it didn't last long. We are both happily married and are not looking for anything extramarital, but after what happened I'm wondering if I should just act like nothing happened or should I talk to him about what happened? Your advice is greatly appreciated!
You're being awfully presumptious about him in this sentence. I think he's probably very much looking for something extramarital.
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Old 05-21-2011, 02:04 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,246 posts, read 94,102,719 times
Reputation: 40068
Quote:
Originally Posted by WestCobb View Post
You're being awfully presumptious about him in this sentence. I think he's probably very much looking for something extramarital.

Agreed. I find the folks who proclaim something like this the loudest are often just trying to convince themselves and us of what they WISH were true (in this instance, that he's "happily married"), to cover up the reality.
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