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I'm a huggy, touchy person. Some people most definitely are not. (duh obvious here) LOL I am not uncomfortable with someone hugging me, unless they hold on too long...at that point, anxiety kicks in. It takes quite a lot actually, for me to "assume" that someone is flirting with me. If it gets to the point that I feel that way, I will either say something, or avoid coming in too close for my comfort.
There are some people whom you simply CAN'T touch, as they take every contact as some sort of a sexual overture. Victims of sexual abuse and/or molestation can be EXTREMELY sensitive to personal contact. So sad, too....because our family is VERY "touchy". It's rare that we don't purposefully make physical contact....in the most harmless, but loving way. I think that physical contact is important.
Could you maybe explain this in other words? I am curious what it means, I am feeling (or am) a bit dense today and am not quite see what you're getting at here. And by we, do you mean you and people with similar dispositions as yourself.
I always thought that if a man is touching the lower back of a woman, he's in a relationship with her or interested, but if his hand is around your shoulder, he's more of a friend.
You're right. These kinds of touches are indications of intimacy between two people, to varying degrees.
It is appropriate for some to touch us that way, while for others, it is clearly not.
Both understanding and communicating body language efficiently is seriously something everyone should first consider before they reach out and touch someone!
Not knowing and respecting "the rules" can cause alot of problems & drama!
Could you maybe explain this in other words? I am curious what it means, I am feeling (or am) a bit dense today and am not quite see what you're getting at here. And by we, do you mean you and people with similar dispositions as yourself.
My husband, myself, my children...... a touch on the back, throw your arms around the person as you're walking by and swirl them around, tousle the hair. We're very playful and affectionate.
I always thought that if a man is touching the lower back of a woman, he's in a relationship with her or interested, but if his hand is around your shoulder, he's more of a friend.
See, to me....that means nothing! LOL A hand on the lower back...as long as it's not below the hips, means NOTHING to me. LOL If someone walks up behind me and puts their hand on my lower back...it means absolutely nada. Again, should that hand fall below the hip line...you've just moved into BACK OFF territory, unless you're my husband.
See, to me....that means nothing! LOL A hand on the lower back...as long as it's not below the hips, means NOTHING to me. LOL If someone walks up behind me and puts their hand on my lower back...it means absolutely nada. Again, should that hand fall below the hip line...you've just moved into BACK OFF territory, unless you're my husband.
It's from my experience that has led me to believe in that "rule". I think it's a pretty good rule to go by also, since it prevents stupid situations from happening.
If I see a guy put her hand on a woman's lower back, I think it's her job to tell anyone other people that he's not anyone special/dating material for her at that time. If they're just friends, great, she is single and possibly looking. If she does not tell people anything, then she either doesn't want to be in a relationship, is interested in him, doesn't care.
Unless one of my female friends wants a hug, or something, I DO NOT touch them. Girls I'm interested in, it's different- but generally I just don't touch them unless I know it's okay. In this day and age one can get into a lot of trouble for stupid **** like that.
It's from my experience that has led me to believe in that "rule". I think it's a pretty good rule to go by also, since it prevents stupid situations from happening.
If I see a guy put her hand on a woman's lower back, I think it's her job to tell anyone other people that he's not anyone special/dating material for her at that time. If they're just friends, great, she is single and possibly looking. If she does not tell people anything, then she either doesn't want to be in a relationship, is interested in him, doesn't care.
Frankly, I feel no need, whatsoever, to explain to anyone that the person who has touched me, is not someone special/dating material. If they want to fulfill their fantasies and get all up in a tizzy, because they've misinterpreted the situation, let them do it. I really don't care! Absolutely not my problem...it's theirs! Shoot, a person could look at you and WINK...and have a bystander think, "Whoa, they're sleeping together, I would never have guessed that of Mel!"
Having a husband who is not at all paranoid and trusts me completely, he knows that IF some man should touch me in a way which makes me uncomfortable, I WILL handle the situation.
Frankly, I feel no need, whatsoever, to explain to anyone that the person who has touched me, is not someone special/dating material. If they want to fulfill their fantasies and get all up in a tizzy, because they've misinterpreted the situation, let them do it. I really don't care! Absolutely not my problem...it's theirs! Shoot, a person could look at you and WINK...and have a bystander think, "Whoa, they're sleeping together, I would never have guessed that of Mel!"
Having a husband who is not at all paranoid and trusts me completely, he knows that IF some man should touch me in a way which makes me uncomfortable, I WILL handle the situation.
That's fine. Again, my experiences, my eyes. Maybe I'm too nice, but I'm not making moves on someone if I see her being touched by another guy that, to me, looks flirtatious. Bad situations happen over dumb things like this, and frankly I don't think any woman I've only met a few hours ago is worth fighting over.
That's fine. Again, my experiences, my eyes. Maybe I'm too nice, but I'm not making moves on someone if I see her being touched by another guy that, to me, looks flirtatious. Bad situations happen over dumb things like this, and frankly I don't think any woman I've only met a few hours ago is worth fighting over.
This is very wise, lol.
Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel
Having a husband who is not at all paranoid and trusts me completely, he knows that IF some man should touch me in a way which makes me uncomfortable, I WILL handle the situation.
You are fortunate to have that.
It's a very different world out there for us young(er) single folk as opposed to comfortable & secure couples who've been married for 100 years!
See, to me....that means nothing! LOL A hand on the lower back...as long as it's not below the hips, means NOTHING to me. LOL If someone walks up behind me and puts their hand on my lower back...it means absolutely nada. Again, should that hand fall below the hip line...you've just moved into BACK OFF territory, unless you're my husband.
Thing is, the lower back is a major erogenous zone whereas the shoulders are far less so. Touching the lower back (to use Frog's phrase - my experience, my eyes) indicates intimacy and/or possession. Hands on shoulders is more of a buddy situation.
*shrug* Remember I work in a strip club, so most of the conventional rules fall by the wayside, but even there I notice the girls will put their hands on a customer's shoulders until they know them better. Then they'll touch the middle and lower back.
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Shoot, a person could look at you and WINK...and have a bystander think, "Whoa, they're sleeping together, I would never have guessed that of Mel!" 
