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Old 07-01-2011, 08:09 AM
 
Location: US
5,139 posts, read 12,709,514 times
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Nope. And I wouldn't date a guy that dated/used a porn star or hooker either.

 
Old 07-25-2011, 03:25 PM
 
Location: USA
31,014 posts, read 22,056,089 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Opsimathia View Post
Nope. And I wouldn't date a guy that dated/used a porn star or hooker either.
If you have slept with more than a handful of guys in your life there's a pretty good chance one of them has been with a hooker.
 
Old 07-25-2011, 03:59 PM
 
Location: syracuse ny
2,412 posts, read 5,083,095 times
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Guys like to think they can handle their emotions. Just out of high school and being pretty rebellious, having grown up in a ridiculously strict religion, I married a stripper. She was always the cool girl in high school. She filled out great, looked awesome, and it was the tail end of Disco. I bartended at a hot local nightclub and she'd come in with 5" clear plexiglass heels, perfect hair, a regular dancing queen. She always liked me. A quick romance, and the next thing you know, we were married. Now she never cheated or anything like that, but I'd go visit her while she danced. The old foggies didn't bother me, but some good looking guy ordered a lap dance and you'd think Godzilla just came through! It wasn't working out, I wanted her to quit. I understand her reluctance. She was pulling down over $2500 a week under the table! We agreed to annul. We're still friends. She was beautiful, but as the years went on she took on more of her fathers looks. It looks good on a handsome older German guy, not so good on her

I cannot imagine a guy knowing his wife is getting plugged on film, for millions to see. You can say you can handle it all you want, actually handing it would be another matter, entirely.
 
Old 07-25-2011, 08:40 PM
 
461 posts, read 555,978 times
Reputation: 444
Date a porn star? As in go out a few times and never go further? Sure. Seriously date a porn star and enter a serious relationship that could end in marriage? No, it's just not for me.
 
Old 07-25-2011, 10:09 PM
 
4,483 posts, read 5,329,227 times
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Hi, Skydive Outlaw. I think many straight men have wondered or even fantasized about dating a porn star. However, from the discussions, comments, jokes, and off-hand statements made by men about women in porn from the time I hit puberty in 1985 until recent years, I would venture to say that the vast majority of men who watch porn either have no idea what many porn stars go through - or, they know and couldn't care less. I'm inclined to the former.

Your post makes me think you're one of the guys who doesn't know what they go through. So let's assess your post.

1. "In the grand scheme of things and looking at the situation objectively and logically. It would be hard to really make an argument against dating one if everything else clicked in terms of a relationship."

If the given porn star was an otherwise normal and healthy woman without any issues, baggage, or hang-ups (which, admittedly, men and women often have - and I'm referring to people outside the porn industry), then technically, perhaps. But let me ask you this. Would you really want - would the average heterosexual man - want to date a woman whose face and body have been reproduced billions of times online, in the company of several men, where she performs degrading sexual acts?

2. "For example. Women that are not porn stars, that are attractive and have a high sex drive are inherently always looking for a better deal, so it is only a matter of time before one cheats on you - which would involve lying, deception and manipulation until you find out. A porn star would never cheat since technically going to work and performing would not be cheating."

You are making an assumption that cannot possibly be proven - you are claiming that good-looking women who are fond of sex will inevitably have wandering eyes and therefore prove to be unfaithful. How can you possibly make such a blanket statement? There are millions of attractive women who also like sex, but not all of them are potential cheaters. Many such women - physically gifted and with high sex drives - are also sensitive, intelligent, caring, emotionally hungry, and oftentimes insecure and lonely individuals who are simply looking for ONE man - ONE sufficiently good, compatible man. Many women - even if they never marry - who are highly attractive and love sex are perfectly capable of fidelity and never cheat.

Furthermore, you say a porn star would not cheat because of her line of work. Even if the argument can be made that a female porn starlet is not cheating because her job involves sex, you're assuming that off-camera, she would not be different from women outside porn. I've watched interviews by porn stars (both genders) who have said that the crazy, wild sex they perform on camera is but a show, and their actual sex lives is quiet, not wild, and frankly, no different than the sex lives of everyday folks. So if a porn starlet is not that different from a non-porn star female off camera, why would cheating be beyond her if as you say cheating can or will happen with certain women?

3. "A regular woman would require all of the usual time, effort and money involved in taking care of her all while validating her ego and giving her attention as well (craved by women like an addict wants cocaine). With a porn star, she would have her own money from filming, her website and occasional stipping tours, and she would never need the constant attention a normal woman would to feed her ego since she is more than likely confident enough in her self and own beauty."

Um, "regular women" live their lives. They have hobbies; they play sports; they spend time with their families; they volunteer their time; they have religious affiliations. Not all "regular women" are so vacuous or shallow that they require their men to use so much time, effort, and money on them. Many "regular women" are highly successful, confident, and well-rounded individuals and they can afford their own stuff - with money they earned from their careers.

Now, as for what you said about a porn star being confident enough in herself and her beauty - do take note that many porn starlets have killed themselves; some, with firearms; others, with drug overdoses. Women who have left the porn industry have spoken of how they went through bouts of depression, shame, self-hate, and embarrassment over their work; they've spoken of how they were constantly high on drugs from one shoot to the next; and, of how their self-esteem was usually in the dumps.

This does not mean, of course, that there are no porn starlets who are not aware of their looks. Perhaps the most famous porn starlet of her generation, Jenna Jameson is very aware of how good-looking she is. She has spoken of how as a teenager, men in Las Vegas stared at her large breasts, and yet, she got implants. She knew she could get men because of how beautiful she was. But Jenna's fame and wealth is not the rule for women in porn.

Let us, in fact, quote some of Jenna Jameson's own words to debunk what you claim - that porn starlets are so highly confident of their looks, their self-image, etc.

Jameson came out with a book several years ago named How To Make Love Like A Porn Star, A Cautionary Tale."

I present you with some quotes from Ms. Jameson. Throughout this post, I edited some of Jameson's blunt language with parentheses.

“And before you even get into it, realize that it’s not that easy to have sex with strangers in front of other people. When you’re having sex, you’re at your most vulnerable. Only a handful of women look good (having sex): everyone has a little cheese here and there. At the very least, most girls have to battle eating disorders at some point from seeing themselves jiggling naked on camera so much. And, speaking of exposure, every time you’re on set you’re swapping fluids with someone, so your body is constantly fighting colds and flus. You get sick. You get run down.” (Pg. 329)

In other words, not all women in porn are as good-looking as you presume, and therefore, they don't all have the confidence you claim they have.

“Most girls get their first experience in gonzo films – in which they’re taken to a crappy studio apartment in Mission Hills and penetrated in every hole possible by some abusive ******* who thinks her name is (bimbo). And these girls, some of whom have the potential to become major stars in the industry, go home afterward and pledge never to do it again because it was such a terrible experience.” (Pg. 132)

Do you really think that a young woman in her 20s will feel "confident" or have her self-esteem boosted after such an experience?

“In a worst-case scenario, a gonzo director will take a girl to a hotel room and have their friends shoot a cheap scene in which she is humiliated in every orifice possible. She walks home with three thousand dollars, bowed legs, and a terrible impression of the industry. It’ll be her first and last movie, and she’ll regret it – to her dying day.” (Pg. 325)

If a person regrets something to their dying day, what effect would this have on his/her confidence, self-esteem, etc?

4. "As far as the sexual side of things, it would be a given that she is down for anything she already has done at work, and would be more so within the parameters of her own relationship."

Wrong.

Not all porn starlets enjoy double penetration. Not all enjoy anal sex. Not all enjoy having to drink the sperm of several men at once. Don't forget that what you see on the screen is scripted; it's a fantasy. It is happening, yes, but it doesn't mean that the women on screen, regardless of what they say or how they act, actually like doing what they are doing. Ms. Jameson offers us further insight:

“In other scenarios, she’ll work for two weeks until she’s only getting paid seven hundred dollars a scene and then, finally, no one wants to use her anymore. So she’ll agree to do double penetration or drink the sperm of twelve guys just to stay working.” (Pg. 325)

A reason porn is damaging and harmful is that it cons men into thinking regular women are going to do what women in porn do, and gladly so. And while many regular women out there love sex and can even be kinky, I would imagine that most regular women aren't necessarily going to smile and grin after their lover has ejaculated on their faces. That's simply a lie perpetrated by porn.

Furthermore, I doubt there are too many "regular women" on C-D who enjoy double penetration, or having their hair pulled during sex, or being choked, or being slapped, or .... because Ms. Jameson, in her book, makes it clear she doesn't like being treated like an animal.

5. "If you were with one, it would be safe to assume that she actually valued her relationship with you since she could have almost any other guy that she wanted and that alone would be a plus."

This is one thing you're actually right on, because porn starlets are simply human beings, and human beings crave meaningful companionship and heartfelt intimacy. Again, we turn to Ms. Jameson:

“Even to those of us behind the camera, sex is an intimate thing. This is borne out by how hard it is for anyone in the industry to have a healthy relationship off camera." (Pg 134)

6. "The average girl next door, if you had access to video footage of every sexual encounter she ever engaged in, at the end of the day would probably not seem much different than a porn star - with the only difference being one of them has had her experiences filmed and was paid for them and the other one has not, while telling you she has only been with five guys before."

This is so incorrect on so many levels.

First of all, the average girl next door, even if she's never seen porn and is hornier than anybody within a 20-mile radius, goes to bed every night knowing that her face and naked body are not being viewed and downloaded millions, billions of times on the Internet. Those scandals we've heard of in the news - teenagers sexting, people who secretly filmed sexual encounters, that girl who had a powerpoint presentation of jocks she had sex with - the furor arose partly because of how the people involved were humiliated by either having their nakedness exposed or their names involved or both. Now multiply that by millions, and that's what women in porn go through every night.

I close this post with a few more sobering comments from Ms. Jameson, and this one concerns relationships and marriage outside the porn movie set. These statements will shatter any illusions you harbor about dating a porn starlet - it's not easy for them and for the men who love them.

The following comments showed me that Ms. Jameson is human after all - I sympathized with her and even felt sorry for her.

“Other girls meet boyfriends after getting into the industry. And while guys may think it’s cool at first, ultimately they’ll hate you for what you’re doing. . . . Even if you end up leaving the industry for him, he’ll always hold your past against you.” (Pg. 333)

“Never bring a boyfriend to the set, because they usually stare needles into you and everyone else the whole time. You’ll be so afraid you’re going to upset him that you won’t be able to perform.(Pg. 334)

“Because few outsiders truly accept and understand the lifestyle, most people in porn date within the industry. However, dating a male performer is also a kiss of death for most girls. As soon as emotions come into play and you both really love each other, you’re not going to want him to perform with anyone else and he’s not going to want you for perform with anyone else.” (Pg. 334)

“The other option is to have an open relationship and (sleep with) other people, but then that’s not a relationship at all. It’s nothing. I’ve never seen a swinger couple work out: usually, one person will fall in love with the other first, but will keep their mouth shut until one day they just blow up and let it all out. And when they do, it’s such an overload of emotions and feelings that it scares the other person off.” (Pg. 334)

Yep, folks: a porn star - perhaps the biggest one of her generation - openly says swinging doesn't work.

“Even to those of us behind the camera, sex is an intimate thing. This is borne out by how hard it is for anyone in the industry to have a healthy relationship off camera. No male is wired to watch his lover having sex with another man on camera, especially if he is better looking, (is more endowed), and (is a better lover).” (Pg. 334)

Quote from “one of porn’s leading men.”(Anonymous):
“Getting into porn is a death sentence. As a male performer you are doomed to be single for the rest of your life…. A guy performs seven to ten scenes per week at least. The number one performers do fifteen scenes per week. So what girl is going to go out with a guy who’s (sleeping with) fifteen other girls every week? No one. The guys don’t have any social life, because they are on set so much. And when they do go out, they are like lepers. Girls won’t touch them. Even girls in the industry avoid them, because it’s bad for their career to get stuck having sex with just one guy on camera.” (Pg. 386-387)

Rod “was the first man I’d dated with a Madonna-***** complex. Whenever we were together, he treated me like a princess. But in bed, the sex had to be dirty and he’d treat me like a ****, shouting obscenities..... So, as the relationship progressed, it became harder and harder for him to (sleep with me), because he was caught in a double bind. It seemed like in order to get pleasure during sex, he had to humiliate the woman; but it was impossible for him to humiliate the woman he loved.” (Pg. 424)

Pretty bad, huh? Having to humiliate the woman you love.

In conclusion, your assumptions are flawed, and dating a porn star is nowhere as fun as you appear to think it'd be. It would not simply be having the company and affections of a voluptuous nymphomaniac who would be ready and willing to sate her boyfriend's nastiest fantasies. It would, rather, involve dating a human being with emotions, thoughts, desires, fears, dreams, and a need for love and acceptance - who happened to be in an industry which treats men and women like commodities and which does everything to stunt their humanity (and it is tragically successful, for as I said, many have taken their own lives).

Last edited by Sprawling_Homeowner; 07-25-2011 at 10:19 PM..
 
Old 07-25-2011, 10:27 PM
 
1,807 posts, read 3,322,684 times
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lol absolutely not. especially not with the kind of porno ppl are making now which is less about sex and more about grossing people out and abusing the woman. never
 
Old 07-25-2011, 11:17 PM
 
Location: 20 years from now
6,454 posts, read 7,008,399 times
Reputation: 4663
I'll take it a step further into what I said a few pages earlier...I would not even kiss a porn star on the mouth let alone play house with one. I feel sorry for any guy who is that low on his luck to even consider it.
 
Old 07-26-2011, 05:26 AM
 
936 posts, read 2,060,711 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by itshim View Post
I'll take it a step further into what I said a few pages earlier...I would not even kiss a porn star on the mouth let alone play house with one. I feel sorry for any guy who is that low on his luck to even consider it.
I'm sure the feeling is mutual. Works out well for everyone.
 
Old 08-10-2013, 11:45 AM
 
4 posts, read 9,559 times
Reputation: 10
Me and my bf which I am now engage with is just find with me doing porn since he know by the end of the day I am with him and that I love him no matter what. He also know all the people i meet i tell them that i have a fiancee or i introduce him them and i wear my ring proudly so everybody can see it. And yes he is a normal guy who really doesn't have money have a lot of kids who i adore so much.

so to me there no problem what so ever dating a porn star expercially if the porn star can openly admit that she or he is taken ... and as i say i love him so much and what i do i don't think of as cheating .. i think as it as another day at work with my soon to be husband on set with me getting a free show
 
Old 08-10-2013, 11:47 AM
 
Location: So Cal
52,221 posts, read 52,642,422 times
Reputation: 52740
Some guys view strippers and porno actresses as some kind of "trophy"..... I don't get it.... not one bit...... I don't want to be with some woman and have that awkward conversation... "So how was work today"


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