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I think it would be more polite to ask the person you went out with. Otherwise you could come off as a ruthless desperate you know what. Plus you don't want to cause fights between friends.
Hmm, interesting point. But I went out with Joe only once, no romantic sparks, just a friendly pizza date. And maybe he'll learn from Joe that there hasn't been much connection between Joe and I. And I don't get the sense that Joe likes me that much at all, because if he did, I'm sure he'd be pursuing me and wanting to go out with me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilamx
They say all is fair in love and war, and I think in your situation it applies. Joe hasn't expressed any interest since, so it's safe to assume he's not interested in you. If you felt sparks with Bob, why not? It takes guts to call Joe and ask him, but if you're willing to do that, all the power to you. It's not like you and Joe were close or anything. The worst that can happen is that Joe says no and you'll feel slightly embarrassed, but you can live with that right? Looking at it from Bob's side though, he'll probably be reluctant to go out with someone his friend already went out with.
Do you mean like sort of asking Joe's permission to ask Bob out?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Opsimathia
I think it would be more polite to ask the person you went out with. Otherwise you could come off as a ruthless desperate you know what. Plus you don't want to cause fights between friends.
Hmm, interesting point. But I went out with Joe only once, no romantic sparks, just a friendly pizza date. And maybe he'll learn from Joe that there hasn't been much connection between Joe and I. And I don't get the sense that Joe likes me that much at all, because if he did, I'm sure he'd be pursuing me and wanting to go out with me.
He might be thinking the same thing since you are not doing much to ask him out, talk about hanging out again, etc. Women are the ones saying men don't like women who take the initiative. Many guys have already expressed its fine with them. Sure, there are those who feel their masculinity is threatened if a girl asks them out. To each, their own.
I agree, even though I would rather be pursued, I tend to be bold and ask a guy out if I like him. Then if I get rejected, which I often do, then at least I went for it. A few have said yes in the past!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shaolin070388
Terrible advice. 1)The majority of men DO NOT like to pursue. The majority pursue simply because they have to. 2)Just because a man likes you, doesn't mean he'll ask you out. If you're interested, ask him out. You have no right to complain if you're going to remain in a passive position.
I agree, even though I would rather be pursued, I tend to be bold and ask a guy out if I like him. Then if I get rejected, which I often do, then at least I went for it. A few have said yes in the past!
As it has been talked about in past threads, women in general (specially western women) prefer men to be the ones who take the initiative, ask them out, take care of expenses, show that they can provide, open their doors, romance/woo them, and so on. But you have asked a guy out and seen how it has worked just fine so why not try it again? You’ve been rejected before, guess what, men go through that too so just shake the dust off and move on. Failing is a part of life, we all go through it.
Man rule #3. Though shall not move in on another mans woman with out his "Open and Honest permission" or a long period of time has past. Woman and some men don't seem to get this. I got into a major fight "Came to blows" when I was young and dumb. This happened when a girl I was dating, up and decided she liked my room mate more than I. At the time he asked me and I said "Ok, I don't care" with a scowl on my face. The following Satuday we were out at the bar drinking when the true feelings came out.
Confirm Joe's "Honest" lack of interest, then tell him you are interested in his friend and to pass the word.
would it be terribly tacky for me to contact Joe and ask if Bob would interested in going for a drink????
yes
if you want to ask out bob, call bob.
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