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I went on a date with a guy. He contacted me the next day to tell me that he had a good time and suggested a second date. The second date never happened. However he contacts me every 6 or 7 months asking for another date but he NEVER follows through. He's done this 3 times. I had forgotten about this guy, moved on but obviously he hasn't done the same. He is a successful, respectable guy but why is he still contacting me after only one date that happened 2 years ago? Nothing sexual took place on this date so what is his logic for remaining in contact with me with such a big lapse in time? I have never contacted him, he's the only one initiating contact.
Don't be so quick (or perhaps vain) to think that just because he infrequently keeps in touch means he hasn't moved on. Nor would I weight heavily the theories above that he calls you in moments of desperation or is shaky about some alleged marriage.
It's much more likely that he's spent most of the past few years serial dating. He reaches out to you every now and then to see if you'd like to catch up and have a second date. Not much more to it than that. The time lapse is rather immaterial. He may be trying not to seem desperate (you're not attracted to desperate guys, right?) and/or testing you to maybe initiate for once.
"His" lack of follow-through is mysteriously unexplained. In my experience, many a date never happens because the girl is just way too passive. She's agreeable, but having her actually set a date/time and show up is often like pulling teeth. These women get put on the "infrequent contact" backburner. It means I'm interested but as a man of value, you have to bring something other than a valid phone number to the table for my attention.
Granted, it is the man's responsibility to be proactive but if you expect to date worthwhile men, at least try to meet us halfway. Offer some consideration, initiate sometimes, take some risks and don't drag your feet. I guarantee you, the men you want to date will not have the patience.
Not saying you do this, but it did come across this way to me in your post, and however harsh, I do mean this constructively.
Your theory makes sense. I am very passive and I have gotten comfortable with the man being the hunter, the agressive one.
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