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There is a wide range of libido, desires and idiosyncrasies in sexuality...just be honest with yourself and your SO, forget what society and other people tell you is too much or too little.
I would try to talk to her about stress and emotional connections. You know that old saying about how women are not in the mood because the foreplay starts as soon as they wake? Is she feeling out of sorts because she carries too much stress or doesnt feel valued emotionally? That's what I would look into. With weightloss it takes the mind a bit to catch up with the body in most people. Did you let yourself go at all through these years? When was the last time you bought her flowers? Or wrote her a love letter? Or cleaned the house top to bottom as a surprise? Things like that can get women in the mood.
She works 9-5 M-F and is a hard worker. I work at home and make a decent income. I drop off, pick up the kids every day at school. I love to cook so I cook almost 9+/10 times. I also clean the house, do the laundry, and manage the financial aspects of our lives. Point is I do just about everything. Not so much of an issue, but she doesnt have as much weight on her shoulders as I do for the daily routines.
I personally don't see how you can be love with someone and not want sex. Hell even in a dating relationship you need to start having sex at some point. I do think you need to address this situation ASAP
I personally don't see how you can be love with someone and not want sex. Hell even in a dating relationship you need to start having sex at some point. I do think you need to address this situation ASAP
It is absolutely possible for someone to love his or her partner and simultaneously lack an interest in sex. It happens to men and women alike, so I don't accept that it's something that primarily women go through once they get married. There are plenty of stories out there of men masturbating to porn or doing whatever it is they do except having sex.
At the same time, I do agree that it's something that causes a strain on the relationship if one person is seeking out sex while the other isn't. That's an imbalance that can lead to desperation. I think that's why men who get frustrated with this and seek an emotional connection end up having affairs, and this is why men who just want sex go out and rent it for the night.
Appreciate the responses here. Keep in mind I have brought up her lack of sexual interest and she just says its the way she is.
All of this is over the past year or so. Its fairly recent in the realm of our marriage length.
You say her lack of sexual interest is recent. How did she seem to you before this lack of interest - was she fully engaged when you were having sex or just "going along with it more often"? Since she says "that's just the way she is" you should ask her if this is how she [secretly] always was or if this is just how she has become recently. I say this because if she used to be fully interested in sex then this recent turn could simply be a temporary issue. However, if she was somewhat "faking it" sexually up until recently and has now run out of steam [so to speak] she may never go back to the way she was [since that was never the way she really was anyway]. Please note than when I say "faking it" I am speaking only of her interest in the sex - not her interest in /love for you otherwise. I only bring this up as I have seen many of these same issues on other boards and some people have suffered for years wondering what happened. Better to know now so you can decide what you both need to do.
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