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Old 07-03-2011, 05:27 AM
 
525 posts, read 1,445,176 times
Reputation: 412

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My mom was a nag to my dad and I promised myself not to be like her with men I date or am friends with. I have a man in my life that I care about very much as friends and he has barely given back to show that he cares about me. I would take a bullet for him.

I have sort of gotten over him and moved on. He's sitting in jail briefly. I visited him there and he opened up a little bit. To me talk is cheap and action speaks louder than words. When he requests me to do things, I always do them.

I had sent him letters which he appreciated very much. Then he promised he will send me one when I was visiting him in jail. I figure if he actually wants me in his life, he'll do it. What do you think?

I want to get that message across without sounding like a nag or manipulative. And I know if I no longer respond to by writing, visiting or sending money when he's in jail, his brother will question about it and don't want him involved.
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Old 07-03-2011, 06:24 AM
 
15,724 posts, read 19,752,056 times
Reputation: 12805
WOW...I opened this thread thinking you were trying to get him to do the dishes, but....

You asked him to write, he didn't. I'd leave it at that...he's just not that into you.

Why would you want to pursue a relationhip with this fool any longer???
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Old 07-03-2011, 07:01 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,003 posts, read 10,915,724 times
Reputation: 19511
Okay, first of all, if he's living with you....pack his stuff in garbage bags. Quit writing him and hope he doesn't write to you, which will only give you false hope that he's a decent guy. Seriously, there isn't a better, more suitable guy out there OP? As for how you can get a guy to do something without nagging at them.....well, you can't! If you ask them to do something once, it's asking...unless you've asked him to do something else in the last 2 hrs as well, then it's nagging. If you have to ask the guy to do something more than onces, it's nagging. Know that it's THEM who considers it nagging.....women see it as ASKING them to do something.
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Old 07-03-2011, 07:03 AM
 
525 posts, read 1,445,176 times
Reputation: 412
Quote:
Originally Posted by justthe6ofus View Post
WOW...I opened this thread thinking you were trying to get him to do the dishes, but....

You asked him to write, he didn't. I'd leave it at that...he's just not that into you.

Why would you want to pursue a relationhip with this fool any longer???
That's the plan. I told him it would mean so much to me if he writes me a letter. if he doesn't, IT's OVER. SERIOUS because the only way he really shows that he cares about me is a little affection,

I didn't ask him yet. I wrote it clearly in the letter I'm sending him

There's a quote that I like that goes something like you let go someone you love and set it free. if it comes back it was meant to be.
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Old 07-03-2011, 07:05 AM
 
525 posts, read 1,445,176 times
Reputation: 412
Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post
Okay, first of all, if he's living with you....pack his stuff in garbage bags. Quit writing him and hope he doesn't write to you, which will only give you false hope that he's a decent guy. Seriously, there isn't a better, more suitable guy out there OP? As for how you can get a guy to do something without nagging at them.....well, you can't! If you ask them to do something once, it's asking...unless you've asked him to do something else in the last 2 hrs as well, then it's nagging. If you have to ask the guy to do something more than onces, it's nagging. Know that it's THEM who considers it nagging.....women see it as ASKING them to do something.

He isn't living me. That will NEVER happen. I never asked him to write me so maybe he didn't think about it to write back so I'm asking him in this letter and it will be the last letter I send unless he sends me one
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Old 07-03-2011, 07:45 AM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,671 posts, read 64,763,869 times
Reputation: 26614
For goodness' sake, Katie, are you EVER going to get this lowlife out of YOUR life? Thread after thread and you're always given good advice which you always ignore. You're way too young to be wasting your time hanging out with alcoholics, drug users and manipulative abusers when a whole decent world is out there waiting for you to simply step into it.
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Old 07-03-2011, 07:54 AM
 
3,124 posts, read 4,577,650 times
Reputation: 1955
Tough words, but I must speak up:

Honey, he's a user. He will go ONLY as far as he thinks he needs to in order to keep you around for when and what he can get from you. Could be money, affection, connections, sex, any number of things.

Be done with him and his kind. Be with a guy that shows you respect WITHOUT you having to ask for it.
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Old 07-03-2011, 08:20 AM
 
Location: syracuse ny
2,412 posts, read 4,788,995 times
Reputation: 2036
I believe this specific problem was addressed on episode 156 of Bonanza.

Little Joe finally shot him.
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Old 07-03-2011, 08:42 AM
 
525 posts, read 1,445,176 times
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you know ill let yall know in a month when he gets out if he initiates contact. if not i know the answer im done with him
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Old 07-03-2011, 08:45 AM
 
2,502 posts, read 3,390,086 times
Reputation: 1802
Honestly, I thought this thread was about getting a husband to do some more chores around the house or something. I was actually thinking about starting a thread on how not to be a nag about those things, not some dude in jail. Oh well.
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