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I still don't quite understand why adhering to this rigid dating rule appears to be more important to you than meeting a nice man !
When he sent the message "No Car :-(" there 's a chance that he was telling the truth, and there's a chance that he was trying to get you to offer him a ride, but has some rigid dating rule of his own "never ask your first date to bail you out of a pinch --- it's better to move on to the next girl than to beg a stranger for a favor & embarrass yourself". I think if you really were into this guy, the smart thing for you to have done would have been to have offered to pick him up at that point.
Yep or say "is there somewhere near your house we can meet ?" That would stay within her dating rule of not picking him up. And still allow them to keep the date. But she already decided that the guy didnt have car troubles and was lying but if that was the case I really don't think he would have texted at 6 even... would have just not contacted her at all.
I think people are sorta missing the point here arguing about whether or not she should have given him a ride or her "strict" rules, none of that matters, if the guy wanted to see her, he would have found a way out, he's just being a typical lazy slacker probably too chicken**** to say he doesn't want to go out with her.
If his car is in the shop, fine, rent something modest for a day or two, BFD, I don't know why the simplest stuff seems to be so difficult for some people.
Good god, I'm glad I'm not out in the dating world.
I might be just really naive - but it kind of sounds to me like maybe his car really did break down. If you know you are going to be taking your car into the shop - it's totally possible to rent a car. But if something happens unexpectedly - and is really expensive at that - sometimes renting a car is not possible. Also - renting a car during a holiday weekend is extremely expensive - and there might not be any available.
I still don't understand why you expect him to move heaven and earth to go out with you - but you won't pick him up. Or at the very least - ask him if there is somewhere he can walk to or if he wants to reschedule for a different date. It takes two to tango. I guess I just can't see expecting him to do everything and for you to do nothing. From his texts - it sounds like maybe he was embarassed that he didn't have a car and was hoping you would suggest picking him up - hence the walking comment and the no car comment.
Also - if I was in his situation and my car really did break down - I would be a wreck all day. I might be too flustered to meet someone new that night.
But if you don't trust the guy and think he is lying, or if you don't want to pick a guy up - then I guess this isn't the right guy for you anyway and the best that you can do is just move on.
Last edited by Dewdroplet76; 07-03-2011 at 01:03 PM..
I might be just really naive - but it kind of sounds to me like maybe his car really did break down. If you know you are going to be taking your car into the shop - it's totally possile to rent a car. But if something happens unexpectedly - and is really expensive at that - sometimes renting a car is not possible. Also - renting a car during a holiday weekend is extremely expensive - and there might not be any available.
I still don't understand why you expect him to move heaven and earth to go out with you - but you won't pick him up. Or at the very least - ask him if there is somewhere he can walk to or if he wants to reschedule for a different date. It takes two to tango. I guess I just can't see expecting him to do everything and for you to do nothing. From his texts - it sounds like maybe he was embarassed that he didn't have a car and was hoping you would suggest picking him up - hence the walking comment and the no car comment.
Also - if I was in his situation and my car really did break down - I would be a wreck all day. I might be too flustered to meet someone new that night.
But if you don't trust the guy and think he is lying, or if you don't want to pick a guy up - then I guess this isn't the right guy for you anyway and the best that you can do is just move on.
Some people can just say things infinitely better than I. I'm just too blunt I guess.
I still don't understand why you expect him to move heaven and earth to go out with you - but you won't pick him up. Or at the very least - ask him if there is somewhere he can walk to or if he wants to reschedule for a different date. It takes two to tango. I guess I just can't see expecting him to do everything and for you to do nothing. From his texts - it sounds like maybe he was embarassed that he didn't have a car and was hoping you would suggest picking him up - hence the walking comment and the no car comment.
Yeah, you say that you were sorry about his car, but you didn't follow up with a friendly "are we still on for tonight, or do you want to reschedule?" which to him may have seemed like *you* weren't interested.
Matchmaker here!
Midway between Denver and Philadelphia is Davenport, IA. After driving in opposite directions towards your final destination, you and TV guy can have a stroll around here: Figge Art Museum - Davenport, IA and get all cultural and all, and then head here: Front Street Brewery - Davenport, IA
where you both can toss back a few and let the romance begin.
you're totally off base here, I'm not a B, first of all. Second, I only texted with this guy and we talked on the phone once. I have no baggage or anything negative I'm bringing. We had a nice conversation and he asked me out. I said yes. Then all this car stuff and then no phone call to respectfully cancel. Only a 1 word text. I already told him it was a bummer about his car, I don't need to coddle him and pacify him. I carry no baggage, I openly meet new people and if we click (or at lear I am given the impression we do) then I go out with him, then if his personality changes, or he starts giving excuses then it's back to square one.
I don't go into every encounter expecting there to be excuses. How can I? I'm simply minding my own business, then if a guy approaches me, I treat it as a whole new situation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasmine728
Actually you didnt respond at all to his "no car" text. That actually spoke volumes from your end. I wouldnt call you either. He doesnt know your history of guys flaking... all he sees is someone who doesnt respond to his troubles. A word beginning with "B" comes to mind. Sure you both should have called instead of texting , you could have responded with "maybe another time then" and left the responsibility up to him to make another move and gone about your life. But your lack of response shut the door. Get rid of that old baggage you carry as bringing it into the new opportunities is really narrowing your chances of seeing possibilities.
If you read my entire post, I asked what time are we touching base? meaning, what time are we going to finalize our date plans, so that should have clued him in that I still wanted to go out. A broken car is not the total end of the world. Yes, it sucks, yes it's expensive, yes, it's a hassle, I get that, BUT it shouldn't affect his ability to still want to meet me. Also, you forget that he never called me to follow up, or to tell me what happened with his car, why should I have done the follow up? He could just as easily called me last night.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
Yeah, you say that you were sorry about his car, but you didn't follow up with a friendly "are we still on for tonight, or do you want to reschedule?" which to him may have seemed like *you* weren't interested.
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